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When Life Really Sucked



One thing that really helped too... during this transition period between the time where I was changing schools I got involved with... with church. I mean my faith was what probably the thing that kept me alive. Cause I was contemplating... I really was contemplating death. Just because life sucked. Life was so bad. I was like, "Yo, this is not cool. I'm done. I don't want this anymore. This is boring. Why am I here? The only reason I am here is just to be in pain, you know. I am living a crappy life." So that's... that's key.
Um, I just want to say that it hurt so much to wake up and have nothing in your stomach, man. It wasn't even that my mom couldn't pay for it. It's my mom... my mom was disabled. She tried as hard as she could. But we couldn't. We were poor. So, when I went to school, it wasn't just to learn. I went to school because I had to eat. If I didn't go to school that day I wasn't eating until 9:00... 8:00-9:00 that night. And given, you know, it wasn't a 5 star meal, 3 course meal. It was... it was noodles. It was spaghetti. Day in and day out; bologna sandwiches. I lived off bologna sandwiches for like 9 months. Not gonna lie, it was the cheapest thing on the shelf. Bologna sandwiches and probably orange juice. And if it wasn't that it was noodles. Instant noodles and probably orange juice. (chuckles) Yeah... yeah it was tough.