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Getting Help and Accepting You Need It


I first started suffering from depression about 2 years ago. Like many people I didn't know where to turn. I tried the school counselor but she offered me little help or support. I tried a teacher who told me it was all my fault.
I tried a friend who told me I had too many problems. I then decided I had no one left in my 'real' life who I could talk to so I called a hotline. They were great. I had a really great helper, but they couldn't offer me all the support I needed. So the hotline gave me a referral to a psychologist but I was too scared to go to her in fear that my parents or friends would find out. After a while of feeling terrible and self-harming and crying I decided it was worth giving a call and I got an appointment.
After a couple of months of seeing her I knew it wasn't working and by this time my school had realized there was a problem and called my parents in to talk to them.
I had to see a different psychologist and for the first time in my life I saw a psychiatrist. It was a scary experience for me, it meant admitting, really admitting, I needed help.
If I hadn't kept asking for help, if I had accepted that everything was my fault, if I accepted everything was always going to be this way, I would never have gotten better. Instead I chose to keep talking and talking and talking until I found someone who could help, someone who would be able to turn things around for me, someone who would help me make things better.
Even now I'm not 100% better. I'm still depressed at times. I still suffer from an eating disorder. But now I can see there are times when living is the best thing for me and I am determined to stay out of hospital and I'm enjoying life more than I have in the past 2 years and most of all I accept that I'm going to need help for a long time yet and I am willing to accept that help.
I want people to realize there is help and people will understand, you just have to keep talking until you find those people who understand and just remember that things can always turn around and in time they will get better.