COMMENTARY: When you're little, the world seems so big and full of never ending adventures. You're carefree, and you have no worries. And you never think about who you are, or what you wanna be. Times change, you get older and suddenly everyone expects you to know who you are, who you want to be, and what you want to do for the rest of your life.
But some of us don't know yet. That was my life. And now I'm stuck not knowing who I am or what life holds for me. Some days, I have little belief in myself. I think I'm not good enough, smart enough, and that I just don't measure up. I'll fear that I'll be nobody. Just someone taking up space on this earth. Some days I feel so lost. I'm crumbling under the pressure to have my whole life mapped out and I'm scared to disappoint the people around me.
But I don't have the answers yet. I don't know who I am or what I want to do. I just don't know. I've thought about asking for help but I don't want to seem weak or have to let other people into my life. I'm scared of how they'll react, or what will happen next. I'm scared that my friends and family will find out what I'm going through. I've always wanted to be a doctor but I know I'll never be good enough. I don't know what I want out of life. I just don't know. I did take that step and see someone. I don't think I've ever been so scared. But I didn't know what was going to happen. I had so many thoughts running through my head but instead I found a person who really cared and was willing to help me put my life back on track.
I've been in counseling for a short time now and I'm feeling a lot better about everything. I still have lots of work ahead but my world is full of hopes and dreams again. I'll still have my bad days but I'll also have my great days. I may not be able to tell you who I am or what lies ahead in my life but that's because life is a journey of finding out who you are and what makes you happy. And one day I'll wake up, content with who I am.
FINAL HEADLINE: Life isn't about finding yourself... it's about creating yourself.