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Witness to a parent’s “affair”

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My name is Alex. I have my mom, my dad, my younger sister, Jackie, and our two dogs Ben and Jerry. My boyfriend’s name is Ardy, and for a while my life seemed to be going downhill slowly. My parents have been separated, not divorced, for many months and I was getting in the middle of it.

Just last week, I witnessed my dad “cheating” on my mom. Ardy heard laughing outside and told me it sounded a lot like a girl. I listened too, and I heard the same thing. I walked upstairs and asked Jackie to go outside nonchalantly and see if she could see whom the woman was, or if dad would introduce her. When she came back inside she said she couldn’t see her in the pitch black, and my dad didn’t even acknowledge the woman being there. My Uncle Bill, who was also over visiting, came into my sister’s room. I asked him who the woman outside was, but he tried to act like he didn’t know what I was talking about and that it was their friend “Tim” who had a feminine laugh. I got frustrated and ran downstairs. I stood in the garage and looked out in the driveway to see my dad kissing the woman. I was shocked. I stood there thinking, “Am I seeing what I’m seeing? Am I seeing what I’m seeing?” After 10 seconds of staring it became clear that he was cheating on my mom. I became frustrated and started to yell at him and scream nasty things. I called my mom to tell her what I just saw and she simply told me that she was fine with dad finding someone who made him happy.

My boyfriend stayed over that night. I was lucky enough to have him there because he went through the same thing when he was younger. The advice he gave me was that my parents were normal people in a relationship. Whatever was happening was between them and that I shouldn’t have to get in the middle of it or worry about it. I can’t do much to fix it, and I should just continue my life being a kid instead of trying to help fix a problem that doesn’t deal with me. I have my problems and they have theirs. It’s ok to be mad at my dad because I want my parents to be together. I have to accept the fact that I want them to be happy, even if that means they’ll eventually get a divorce.

If your parents are going through a separation or divorce, try not to get involved. Don’t let their problems mix with yours. What they’re going through is not your fault and that no matter what they will ALWAYS love you.

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