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Real Story

The love that wasn’t

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Maybe you’re supposed to fall in love with someone and are not really meant to be together.  But everything that happens in that time period matters.

Freshman year there was a boy who turned my head twice. Everything started from there. Eventually, a few months later, we started talking and found out we had a lot in common. He went to a school not too far from me, and I thought we clicked, even though he was a year older and would graduate a year earlier. We talked and almost went out, but because of me not choosing him, we didn’t. We remained friends. I used to say that was my only regret.

My sophomore year was the best and worst year of my life. After battling for a while, I was slowly and really becoming depressed again, with the exception of having him in my life. Ironically his friend and I started talking and hit it off really well. But I didn’t think much of it. Throughout that entire year I saw the boy who turned my head nonstop and made so many memories. Eventually, I lost my virginity to him. I didn’t mind, care or regret it,  … even though he went out with a girl who wasn’t me right after and even though in August we did it again and he left for college. And never called me. And fell off the face of the planet.  I cried every day because I loved and hated him. I wished I could call him or see him again.

Until August I didn’t realize how much I cared or how much better his friend treated me. I didn’t care what anyone else knew or heard about me and him, except for his friend. I still don’t talk to the guy I lost my virginity to. However, his friend and I are friends now. I guess you could say I “met someone better,” but I personally think they’re both just two different people. I’m aware that this guy basically could have used me, but I’m also sure there was something in him that felt something.

I’m a junior now and doing everything all over again, alone for the first time in high school without the guy. If I went out with him, things would have gone very differently. But maybe his friend and I wouldn’t have met. I’m still okay with the fact that I lost my virginity to someone who I loved who wasn’t my boyfriend. 

I can honestly say, looking back, that I’m content and know everything happened for a reason.

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  • avatar2

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    Austin K. Mullins

    Your story is amazing. Its almost bringing me to tears. I know a girl that went through this whole thing. I was the friend of the guy she lost her virginity to.
    -Austin K. Mullins.

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