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Real Story

My story of being a pregnant teen

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Overcoming judgment and struggles after getting pregnant

There are a lot of young girls faced with the decision I was faced with. And there is no easy choice. It is a decision you have to think long and hard about, and it’s one you have to make for yourself, because it could affect the rest of your life. Teenage pregnancy.

When I was in high school I became pregnant. It wasn’t something I set out to do. Suddenly I was faced with a decision that ultimately would change my life.

When I discovered my pregnancy I was given a few choices, One was to keep the baby and bring it up myself, another was to give birth and put the baby up for adoption or foster care, and the other was a termination and abort the baby.

There are plenty of factors you have to consider in a situation like that. Things like your health, both physical and emotional and your life style, for example how it will affect school or work etc, and whether you can afford to change your life to accommodate a baby or not. Also, you need to think about the support you have from people around you, family and friends etc; your financial state, babies are expensive to provide for and can add strain to your personal budget so you may need to apply for social welfare or ask for help from someone, like the father. Your personal values may play a big role in deciding what to do.

I chose to keep my baby for several reasons. First my personal values prevented abortion from being an option. Although I respect women who make this choice, it was not something I felt I could do, besides, when I discovered I was pregnant I was 5 months pregnant and to far gone to have an abortion. I had actually decided to give my baby up for adoption, but when I gave birth to him, I realized I wanted to bring him up myself.

Being a young mother was very difficult, I had to juggle school, working as well, and having a social life -which when you’re that age is very important!

I ended up leaving the school I was at because I was so discriminated against. Looking back I know I should have been stronger and stood up for myself, but I didn’t. No one should ever be placed in a situation, where just because their life is a little different to what society says it should be, that they feel threatened in any way.

I couldn’t have come this far without having the support I did. I was lucky because I found a school that was very accepting, I was allowed to do part time school for the first few moths of the babies life and I had teachers tutor me to keep up with school work. I met some really wonderful people at school who never judged me and helped me out when ever I needed it. You have no idea how eager some girls are to baby-sit! It was a lifesaver to know that I could leave my little boy with someone for a few hours while I went to a movie or went to school. I didn’t live with my family at the time, but they were supportive, helping out where they could. The baby’s father and I stayed together after the birth and he helped me look after and bring up the baby. He has stood by me through everything and I know I’m very lucky for that.

One thing that made my decision a whole lot easier was counseling. When I found out I was pregnant I decided I needed help to sort out my options and my feelings. So I sought out a professional counselor. Having that support made all the difference and I strongly recommend it to anyone in this situation!

My life was very changed by my decision, but it’s not one that I look back on and regret. Although I lost some things, I gained a lot as well. I’m not telling anyone to go out and get pregnant, but I am saying that if you find yourself in that way remember, there are always options and only you can know which is right for you!

If you know a young person who is faced with this situation, remember that they are still the same people, and they need as much support as they can get. Don’t judge someone simply because of a decision they have made, because no one ever deserves to be deserted, especially not in a time of need.

Comments

Responses

  • avatar2

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    Nancybabie26

    its very good to no that you finished school im an 18 yr old mother to a 1 yr old girl and trying to find  motivation within myself to finish school but juggle her and work aswell. its also great to see you were able to do it , but its hard sometimes not having help. But im goin to have to be strong  and do it not only for myself but for my daughter

    • avatar2

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      TOTS

      I’m 17 and just found out i was pregnant they said im 4 weeks but i know im 2 weeks from when i had sex. my decision on what to do is hard because i was never the girl to get pregnant not married or definitely not until after college. People expected me to have good grades and going to a good college then a good job, i also seen myself as this. i have no idea what i should do!? abortion, adoption, or keep the baby. can i get advice?

      • avatar2

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        helpmeh

        I’m 17 and just found out I’m pregnant too.. I honestly have no idea what to do. I wanted to get an abortion at first, but my friend kind of talked me out of it, but I’m still not sure. I could never give it up for adoption if i kept it. I don’t know how to tell my parents - they expect me to be the perfect, straight A, full ride to college child, but instead i got pregnant at 17.. This is so hard for me and I don’t know what to do, please help.

        • avatar1

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          ReachOut

          First, just know that there is no right or wrong way to feel right now.  Don’t beat yourself up for any way that you feel—it is what it is.  Just go through the emotions.  This is big.  Do you feel like you could talk to your parents about it, and get support from them, even though you’re feeling like it will disappoint them?

          There’s an online “work sheet” that can help you go through a lot of your options, and it answers a ton of questions.  It’s used by a lot of counselors.  Check it out here:  http://www.pregnancyoptions.info/

          Like I said, this is big, and you’re going to need support, no matter what you decide.  You can easily talk to someone by contacting the Your Life Your Voice helpline at 1-800-448-3000.  They’re great, and the call is free and confidential.  You can also talk this over with your peers (anonymously) in our message boards, by going here:  http://us.reachout.com/forums/forum.php

          We want you to feel supported during this hard time!
          —The ReachOut Crew

      • avatar1

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        ReachOut

        Pregnancy is usually calculated from the first day of your last period, not from when you actually had sex.  So that’s why they say you’re four weeks, even though you know you had sex just two weeks ago, for instance.

        Making this decision is big.  Do you have a family member you can turn to, or some other trusted person that can help you weigh the pros and cons of all your choices?  Would your family be supportive of you in various scenarios?

        You can always visit the forums, and talk this over with your peers, anonymously.  To get there, just click “forums” at the top of this page, or go here:  http://us.reachout.com/forums/forum.php  It’s a supportive place where people just talk things over, and encourage each other. 

        Hope to see you there,
        The ReachOut Crew

    • avatar2

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      lovehelping18

      My friend is saying I should get pregnant and have sex but I am only 15 I don’t know what to do please help me.

      • avatar1

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        ReachOut

        Hi lovehelping18,

        Don’t let anyone pressure you into anything you are not ready for. Having sex for the first time is a big step, and one you need to think about and make sure you want. It has a lot of strings tied to it, such as pregnancy concerns and STDs. That decision is only yours! No one else can make that decision for you. Having a baby is a huge responsibility, it involves stresses not just physically, but emotionally and financially as well. You need to ask yourself if you are ready for that kind of responsibility. You are young, you have plenty of time to start a family, you don’t need to make that choice right now.

        Here are some factsheets to read over which will help you with these questions:

        http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/wanting-to-start-a-family-at-a-young-age
        http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/thinking-about-having-sex
        http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/intro-to-stds

        Remember, it is your choice, don’t let anyone make it for you.

        Best of luck.

        The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    Aubrey

    this story has helped me alot i recently just found out i was pregnant. im a freshman in highschool and yes this is the hardest thing ive had to go threw. The babies father wants nothing to do with me or the baby so it makes it harder, also my family doesnt know yet because i dont know how to tell them im scared to get judged by them. And also the boy i talk to said his feelings wouldnt change for me because im pregnant but they have i feel it and see it and im so stuck on what to. im loosing everyone and its so hard to do by yourself.

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Hi Aubrey. Please know you are not alone and you do need support as young parent. We can’t guarantee your parents won’t be hurt, upset or disappointed when you tell them, but many parents come around and end up being incredibly supportive. The baby’s father may or may not come around, but it’s most important right now to focus on you, and taking good care of yourself both emotionally and physically. Please check out this resource for teen parents as well http://todayisfortomorrow.org/teenparents. We’re thinking of you.
      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    Arel

    This story helps me want to continue on through school.  I found out I was pregnant within the first month and a half.  The pregnancy was very unexpected, but I’ve still got support from my family, friends and the baby’s father.  Although I left a normal school setting, I’m trying my best at homeschool to graduate before the baby is born, but I find it extrememly difficult already.  Sometimes I just feel as if I want to drop out and pick it up again later, maybe getting my GED. I’m only three credits away from graduating, so I think I’ll stay working toward getting my diploma.

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