Overcoming judgment and struggles after getting pregnant
There are a lot of young girls faced with the decision I was faced with. And there is no easy choice. It is a decision you have to think long and hard about, and it’s one you have to make for yourself, because it could affect the rest of your life. Teenage pregnancy.
When I was in high school I became pregnant. It wasn’t something I set out to do. Suddenly I was faced with a decision that ultimately would change my life.
When I discovered my pregnancy I was given a few choices, One was to keep the baby and bring it up myself, another was to give birth and put the baby up for adoption or foster care, and the other was a termination and abort the baby.
There are plenty of factors you have to consider in a situation like that. Things like your health, both physical and emotional and your life style, for example how it will affect school or work etc, and whether you can afford to change your life to accommodate a baby or not. Also, you need to think about the support you have from people around you, family and friends etc; your financial state, babies are expensive to provide for and can add strain to your personal budget so you may need to apply for social welfare or ask for help from someone, like the father. Your personal values may play a big role in deciding what to do.
I chose to keep my baby for several reasons. First my personal values prevented abortion from being an option. Although I respect women who make this choice, it was not something I felt I could do, besides, when I discovered I was pregnant I was 5 months pregnant and to far gone to have an abortion. I had actually decided to give my baby up for adoption, but when I gave birth to him, I realized I wanted to bring him up myself.
Being a young mother was very difficult, I had to juggle school, working as well, and having a social life -which when you’re that age is very important!
I ended up leaving the school I was at because I was so discriminated against. Looking back I know I should have been stronger and stood up for myself, but I didn’t. No one should ever be placed in a situation, where just because their life is a little different to what society says it should be, that they feel threatened in any way.
I couldn’t have come this far without having the support I did. I was lucky because I found a school that was very accepting, I was allowed to do part time school for the first few moths of the babies life and I had teachers tutor me to keep up with school work. I met some really wonderful people at school who never judged me and helped me out when ever I needed it. You have no idea how eager some girls are to baby-sit! It was a lifesaver to know that I could leave my little boy with someone for a few hours while I went to a movie or went to school. I didn’t live with my family at the time, but they were supportive, helping out where they could. The baby’s father and I stayed together after the birth and he helped me look after and bring up the baby. He has stood by me through everything and I know I’m very lucky for that.
One thing that made my decision a whole lot easier was counseling. When I found out I was pregnant I decided I needed help to sort out my options and my feelings. So I sought out a professional counselor. Having that support made all the difference and I strongly recommend it to anyone in this situation!
My life was very changed by my decision, but it’s not one that I look back on and regret. Although I lost some things, I gained a lot as well. I’m not telling anyone to go out and get pregnant, but I am saying that if you find yourself in that way remember, there are always options and only you can know which is right for you!
If you know a young person who is faced with this situation, remember that they are still the same people, and they need as much support as they can get. Don’t judge someone simply because of a decision they have made, because no one ever deserves to be deserted, especially not in a time of need.