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Real Story

Rape

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Our Stories are written by young people for young people. If you want to share your story, we encourage you to do so in the ReachOut Forums.

My story about being raped

My high school history class was mixed with juniors and seniors. I was a junior, and a really cute senior asked me to study with him at his house after school. I thought I was lucky to have a popular senior hanging out with me. After school, I lied to my mom so I could hang out with him. He didn’t want to go inside his house; he just wanted to hang out in my minivan, which was parked at the park across the street. He suggested we go to the back for more room.

We ended up making out, and I was so excited to go brag to my friends at school the next day, until he took it way further than I was okay with. I was raped in my own car.

I kept it a secret; I was a virgin and did not want to believe I had lost my virginity that way. I started skipping and getting bad grades in school. My rapist wanted to keep hanging out with me, and I kept going because I wanted to pretend like I was okay with it.

After seeing all the cuts I inflicted on myself, my parents found out. I was hospitalized in the behavioral health unit; I was very angry for being put in there, but now I know it was worth it.

I hope if this happens to you, you will press charges and get help right away and realize you don’t have to pretend that something is okay when it’s not.
——
Note: if you have been raped:

If someone does not agree (consent) to have sex and/or if someone is pressured, coerced, or threatened into sex, that is considered rape.

Getting support and care, knowing that you are not alone, and knowing that you are not to blame are important for healing from such a traumatic experience. Sharing your experience in the supportive community in the Reachout forums is a great start. Below are some resources that you might use to help you heal from this experience.

RAINN (Rape, incest and abuse network) is free, confidential and 24/7, call on 1800 656 4673. Find your local rape crisis center.
National Sexual Violence Resource Center: call 877 739 3895
• ReachOut fact sheet on sexual violence

Comments

Responses

  • avatar2

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    mystoryistrue

    i feel like its better to get this out instead of keeping it all in so here is my story i was 13 and i was hanging out with this boy and i didnt think much of it then he pulled me into a big pile of brush so no one could see us and thats when it happened he took my virginity and my childhood all in one i was so scared to tell my my parents but i knew i had to the next day i sucked it up and told my mother so she called the cops and then i went in then the cop told my mom he couldn’t do anything because he said i wanted it i was only 13 he was 20, a couple weeks later i found out i was pregnant to the guy worst day ever and i had a miscarriage because of all the stress, deep down inside i try to forget it but i know i never will it makes it hard for me to trust anyone but im slowly getting there!

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      What happened to you was so wrong and unfair, and we are so sorry that you went through it.  You are just so brave to be able to talk about it—so admirable.  Support can be found at RAINN.org which is a support site—Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN).

      You might like to discuss all of this in our peer-to-peer forums, where you can talk it over with people your own age, anonymously of course.  To get there, just click “Forums” at the top of this page, or go to this link: http://us.reachout.com/forums/forum.php The log in you made here, also works there.

      We care about you!
      —The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    Mariana

    the worst day of my life was the day my friend turned on me and raped me when i was living downtown detroit when i was 14 by a friend. well…i thought he was my friend, then he changed because of a lil fight we had… then he brought his friends to my home when he knew my mama was outta town. there was no one in the house and i was sick with the flu. i was wondering why he came to the house becuase he made it abundantly clear he hates me. i opened the door and before i knew it [...] am twenty and i cant still live myself. i thought i could figure it out but now i dont think so.

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      We are just so sorry that this has happened to you.  You are very brave to talk about it, and to seek out information so that you can begin to heal from the pain.  One thing that might help you is to contact RAINN.org—RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network, and they’re dedicated to helping victims of sexual abuse.  Call 1- 800-656-HOPE (4673) to talk to someone, any time.

      We care about you, friend.
      —The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    natalie52

    I was raped by my step-brother, it hurts to know that someone that is supposed to love you can make you feel so bad. at first i thought he was playing and then he made me undress for him and dance around and on him. after that he told me about how he would do it to his cousin when they were bored. then he raped me….. Still to this day i feel worthless i cut and take pills…....what can i do?

    • avatar2

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      noplaceforhate

      stay strong
      it’s sad it has happened 2 u
      but stay strong
      believe me u will get through this
      BELIEVE IN GOD and LOVE 2 U

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Hi natalie52,

      We are just so sorry that this has happened to you.  It’s not right, and it’s not fair, and it’s certainly not your fault.  Have you ever talked to anyone about this?  It can really help to just talk through it.  I’m sure you know self-harm and pills won’t help, and might make things worse, so it’s important to find healthier ways to cope.

      One way you could easily talk to someone is by calling the helpline at Your Life Your Voice.  The phone number is 1-800-448-3000, and they’re available any time, day or night.  You can call right now, if you want.  They also have a text service.  You can open a conversation between 6 pm and midnight (central time) by texting VOICE to 20121.

      You might also consider contacting the Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) by calling 1- 800-656-HOPE (4673)  RAINN.org is a free, confidential and secure crisis hotline 24/7 for victims of sexual assault or violence.  They can help.

      Also feel free to visit our forums, to interact with your peers.  You can get there by clicking the word “Forums” at the top of this page.

      Stay strong, friend,
      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    thatonegirl17

    This had happen to me when I was in 6th grade. I am now in 10th finally talking to some people about it. I was scared to tell my parents, I thought they would be mad at me because of what had happen. I self harmed for 2years and was suicidal for 1 of those. Still suicidal and self harm, but I guess that it is just going to take some time to become better.

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      I’m so sorry that you experienced this.  I’m glad that you were finally able to start talking about it, and I hope that provides some help for you.  Another thing that night be helpful for you is to visit RAINN.org.  RAINN is the Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network.  They have a secure and confidential helpline that you can reach by calling 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

      If you ever want to talk to people online about things (or even provide support for others), you can visit the ReachOut Forums.  Just click the link on this page… up at the top, where it says “FORUMS.” We’d love to see you there!

      Take care,
      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    SheFox

    I was 3 years old when It happened. I and my little sister where adopted by this family when I was 18months and my sister 17months but we where never apart of there family you could say this was like some really messed up F ed up Cinderella story. I was my third birthday but there was no party. HE for some reason came in to my room HE wanted to help me change for bed I though it was funny because HE never did that before. and I was already in my little night gown it was pink with cute little flowers and lase it was my favorite. I said I’m fine HE said no I had it on backwards and I should take it off and fix it. I looked down to check and HE grabbed the front of my night gown and ripped it and I fell with the force of it I had hit my head on the floor and started to cry HE picked me up and said HE was sorry and HE put me in bed and HE got in with me I was still crying so HE put his hand over my mouth and said that if I did not stop crying and go to sleep HE would hit me so I stopped crying cause I know HE would hit me. all HE did was sleep next to me the next morning I woke up and HE was not there. no one was home but me and my 2year old sister I got up and I went to make my and my sisters breakfast like I always did lucky charms for me and my sister I ate most of the lucky and she ate most of the charms. we would watch TV and it was fun I made us lunch and then I would play with her I wanted her to have fun the way and then I did some cleaning of what I could reach and then I made there dinner for when they came home. we know to be out of there way when they came home. I got my little sister ready for bed and kissed he good night and shut the door. I had no way of sowing my favorite night gown so I had to get ride of it. I was getting ready for bed when the door opened and HE was standing there and HE saw me I was just in my underwire and I covered my self with the dress I had taken off and HE shut the door and told me to get in to bed or he would heart me and then he turned off the light only my night light was on and I tried to move out of HIS was but HE was to fast and grabbed me and slapped me in the face I dared not cry for if I did HE would hit me again and put me on the bed I said stop but HE said if I talked again HE would hit me again HE took off my underwire and looked at me the best HE could with only the night light. and then HE started getting undressed I started to say something when HIS hand hit my face again HE was now fully undressed and climbed in with me and touched me then I felt HIS hand go lower and I tried to move and HE pined me down under HIM and all I could think was something was wrong this did not seem right. and then something big was doing something to me down there and then there was only pain nothing but blinding PAIN and I did not scream cause I know for some reason that is what HE wanted. I silently cried and HE did what I know knew as rape HE did it to me tell I was 7 when HE raped me some times I would fight and I would end up with a broken arm and browsed ribs and other ingress that I would have to make up stories to the doctor’s there the doctors nicked named my clumsy but not to be mean I told them that I tripped a lot but if they only know one time I came with a 3 browsed ribs I had a dress on and one of the nearest looked at me and she say blood dripping down my leg HE tore me up really bad but I did not say anything at first thinking of some timing and then I said I cut my self practicing to shave my legs she did not believe me and took me to a room where HE could not see us. her name was Kelly and she asked what was happening I said nothing she asked if she could see and I let her. her face when she say I would never forget was a mask of fear. sadness, shock, and then anger. she cleaned me up and I told her and she cried and held me and I told her not to cry cause HE would know I was 7 now she looked at me and I whipped her face she had known me for 4 years and she never know and she said she was mad at her self for not knowing and I said who would you have I never told anyone for fear that he would do the same to my sister. she said you acid like you are 13 I said I had to grow up fast to take care of my sister. I think she said something to the doctor. because HE then he sent me away and Keep my sister. to this day I don’t know where she is let alone if she is still alive.       

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      We are so sorry for the things you’ve been through.  Your story is so painful and difficult, and we hope that you’ve been able to work with a counselor or therapist to deal with some of this.  One thing you can do is make a call to the youth helpline at Your Life Your Voice and talk it over with them.  The number is 1-800-448-3000, and you can call them any time, day or night.  Talking with someone can really help.

      Please take care,
      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    Loveyyydovvveryyyy

    i was raped when i was in high school by 2 guys and one of them was my best friend and he tried to say sorry but i got crazy and almost killed my self so your not the onky one were here for you

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Hi Loveydovery,

      I am so sorry that happened to you. I want you to know and hope that you understand that what happened to you was in no way your fault. You don’t have to accept an apology from your attackers, even if they were a best friend previously. It’s your decision on how you proceed and how you heal from that event. I hope that you will choose healthy and positive methods of coping and healing. We have a youth helpline that I’d like you to call if you feel you need to speak to someone about all of this, the number is 1-800-448-3000. It is Your Life Your Voice which is operated by Boys Town.

      We also have some factsheets that may help you moving forward:

      http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/Suicidal-thoughts-wanting-to-end-your-life
      http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/sexual-violence

      Take care of you, keep your head up, you are strong and powerful!

      ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    brokenpromise

    um… i believe i was raped but this person was close to me and was in bad shape he drank but sometimes he was sober and he took my innocence and that was when i was like 5,6, or 7 and then he did it again and again… it stopped when i got adopted by my eldest sis but after a few years of living with her and her fiance it happened again by her fiance i haven’t told her because he was drunk but then he came on to me a couple times after that… he asked if i ever done the deed b4 i obviously told him no because if i told it’d be trouble for everyone and now i cry myself to sleep, i inflict pain on myself and some times it’s crossed my mind to take my life…

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Hi brokenpromise. We’re really sorry to hear about what you’ve been through. It’s not your fault and we encourage you to talk to someone about it. If you can’t talk to a family member, try a doctor, a teacher, or some other trusted adult that can help you. You can also call the Boys Town Hotline at 1-800-448-3000. It’s free, confidential, available 24/7, and not just for boys.

  • avatar2

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    Suzzy

    Selena…You are So Strong in many ways, but one is to say what you do!! Reality ...Afternath happens!!  I was also hurt very young, a Virgin…by 3 Guys who were so brutal to me.  I just founf out, (and Yes, this is For Sure)  My Older Brother owed these fella’s money for Herion.  Someone from back then saw them Beat the Tar out of him.  Then, without my knowledge…(I WAS 11 ys old!!)  Guess what I was?  He Knew when he sent m\\saw m e leave for a Bus he had made sure i was late for, to tell them Exactly where I’d be.  On a lonely road, walkig to school…After all those YEARS of TEARS taking it out on my self…I pull my own hair out..at times.  But, sometimes I can’t stop.  This has happened to me ever since I was 11 when this happened to me.  In many other ways I am clearing my Mind and Soul from People who dont deserve my presence for now.  But I cant really Forgive Anyone till I figure out how to stop Hurting myself.  Damm!  I am Pretty, A Very Talented Artist,Kind,well, most of the time, if ya know what I mean!!!! I ADMIRE ALL of YOU for Coming Forward and TALKING about HOW YOU FEEL!!! AND CHANGE!!!  It Helps Other’s CHANGE their LIVES TOO!!!!

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      We’re so sorry to hear about what you’ve gone through!  You seem amazingly strong in spite of it.  But it’s good that you’ve come here to talk about it.  Everyone needs support.  You might want to call the RAINN hotline (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) at 1- 800-656-HOPE (4673) or chat with them online at http://apps.rainn.org/ohl-bridge RAINN is a free hotline for victims of sexual abuse or violence.  It would probably be good for you to talk about some of your feelings regarding your past.

      Please remember that what happened is NOT your fault.

      Take care,
      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    jman900

    My gf was in a simaler problem but was in with her friends home and didn’t have a phone to use. she told me she was ok and i asked her no you are not you seem different in a text and i asked her whats wrong and she told me she got raped:( and i asked her to report it and she did the she got raped again and she went back in i think and they need evidence. me and her are planning on being together forever and i trust her she is hurt and i wanna help her be safe. and she tells me in Facebook messages that she loves me alot and sees that i care i just wanna go see her and live with her if possible. any advice?

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Hey,

      It’s awesome that you’re so supportive of your gf after the difficult things she’s gone through.  Here is some information about sexual violence, and at the end, there is info about places to contact if you need help:  http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/sexual-violence 

      —The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    SelenaTello

    I know your going through a bad time…ive been through this three times…its hard but trust me youll pull through…well almost all the way im still not over it and it was about two years ago…i still think about it all the time…

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Hey Selena, Thank you for your supportive comment. You have clearly been through a difficult time and it takes a lot of courage to share that experience with others. You should be proud of how far you’ve come. We also wanted to be sure you knew about the resources at RAINN: Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1- 800-656-HOPE (4673) or online at http://apps.rainn.org/ohl-bridge/  No matter when this happened to you, you can always be in touch with RAINN to receive support and advice. RAINN is a free, confidential and secure crisis hotline available 24/7 for victims of sexual assault or violence who need to talk. Remember you are not alone.

  • avatar2

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    barbh

    i was raped when i was younger and then ended up in foster care and got raped by someone that was supposed to care for me and now i dont trust really anyone.

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      We’re SO sorry to hear of your abuse. It’s not your fault that people you trusted in the past used power over you and betrayed your trust. Often people who experience sexual abuse have difficulties trusting others. You’re not alone! We’re proud of you for reaching out about your experience and feelings. We encourage you to continue to speak up as this will help you heal. Please get help and support by calling these guys now: http://www.rainn.org/  We wish you all the best <3

  • avatar2

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    littlemamajean0210

    i was molested by my bio dad for four years, its hard to grt through i tryed pressing charges but they sid a four year old against a grown man would never hold up in court. Well the fact that happened made it very hard to trust any guy and as soon as i did my first super serious relationship i got raped, not only did he take my virginity he also got me pregnant. when i was finally done being scared and embarrassed i contacted the courts they said that even with the baby there was no way it would hold up and that it would just be a waste of time.

    • avatar1

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      RO_Admin

      Hey there. We’re so sorry that happened to you. We strongly encourage you to get in touch with the folks at RAINN (http://rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-online-hotline) for support around having been sexually assaulted. You can chat with them anonymously. Please take care of yourself and your little one.

      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    Pbaby2021

    its not ur fault

  • avatar2

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    Hollie hempstead

    hey… im glad you got help.. i did too.. i hope your doing better now.. i went through the similar situations… its tough and it hurts really bad.. your a strong woman to deal with what you had to.. i dont know you but i am very proud of you

  • avatar2

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    ryannestarr

    I was raped also by a friend from school exactly a year ago. At the time, I was also being sexually harassed by a coworker. My coworker was fired when I spoke up, which I was thankful for because I was terrified and didn’t like going to work. However, I have just recently told my parents about the guy who raped me, but I have also just recently come to accept the fact that he took my virginity that night. I’ve suffered many problems because of him, and my parents want to go after him and press charges, but I don’t want to because I don’t want to be involved in any way with him, and I’m still struggling with feelings of self-guilt. Now, I’m in a relationship with a boy I love, but I’m having problems with being sexual with him. I have issues with just looking at a guy’s penis, but I have no idea if that is because of being raped or the fact that I’m bisexual, and I don’t want this to hurt my relationship. I’m lost and confused, and I don’t know what to do.

    • avatar2

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      Hollie hempstead

      it is normal to have intimacy issues after that happening.. if you talk to your partner and help him understand… you might be suprised on how awesome and patient people can be… but its all starts with communication.. me i went the other way i try to use sex to feel that empty feeling and relive it over and over so i wont feel it anymore.. but im glad to hear you are taking things at your pace.. that is very important nothing is wrong with feelign the way you do i hope you are able to talk about it with your partner dont settle for anything less than what you deserve.

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Hey there, Sorry to hear you have been going through a tough time. From an outsiders perspective you are doing a great job coping with a very difficult situation.  Accepting that you can’t change the past is wise and shows you are moving forward- good on you! You did nothing wrong. Although challenging try to rid yourself of your guilt by challenging these thoughts: http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/challenging-negative-self-talk. We think you would benefit from talking with a therapist or counselor. They may be able to help you process your emotions & feelings about sex, as well as communicate your wishes to your parents. http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/how-talking-to-someone-can-help You could also try chatting with RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) at 1- 800-656-HOPE (4673) or online at http://apps.rainn.org/ohl-brid...  They offer 24/7 confidential support. Thinking of you!

  • avatar2

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    ana

    Something like that happened to me also, but there was no pretending to study…I didn’t really realize what had happened at first, i just knew it hurt like hell and i felt dirty, i detached myself from the situation but for some reason i that i can’t comprehend i kept hanging out with the guy and he repeatedly raped me till one night i think i was drugged because i didn’t remember that night until recently, that night i had fought back but it wasn’t enough, i was too out of it. I’m plagued by nightmares and i can’t stand to have guys close to me….sometimes i break down crying.

  • avatar2

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    Govi Rodriguez

    I was raped when i was about 5 by my step cousin and never told anyone. when I moved to Texas, it happened again by my neightbor. i didnt tell anyone until after 8th grade and its affected me so badly… i cant even see myslef as a good person anymore, i just keep thinking im dirty and im easy. its affected me to the point that i cant trust anyone anymore. if someone just brushes my arm i feel very uncomfortable. i have no idea how to deal with this. I’ve seen counselors for a while but it doesn’t help at all, it only makes me feel worse because they just make me relive those moments. how do i deal with this??
     

    • avatar2

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      Hollie hempstead

      you are not dirty and easy i have went through the similar situations… it got so bad i would shower in scolding hot showers and scrub myself till iwas raw… please dont do that… you will injuire yourself and that doesnt solve anything… that pain you feel the empty feeling…. it gets easier in time… but there is no time limit to deal with your problems it took me two years to feel confident about myself… how i dealt with it was… put myself around people with someone i trusted the most… i dont know if you have a parent a close friend a boyfriend anyone that you can trust… its hard but puttin yourself in a situation to make yourself face your fears with someone you can trust not only will it help you and make you realize not everyone in the world will hurt you… but you will build a bond with the person you choose… and once you conquer that which i know you with time… push yourself to face whatever you need to deal with… remember though make sure you are safe and have a plan in case it gets too much for you take baby steps… remember you are a wonderful person.. you can accomplish anything you want to in life… and you CAN GET PAST THIS…. i have i know you can do it too… and dont get down on yourself or get impatient with yourself if results dont happen right away it takes time

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Hey Govi, Good on you for reaching out & talking up! You’re defiantly NOT dirty or easy.  You never asked for this to happen to you! Try challenging these negative thoughts you have about yourself, because they are not true: http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/challenging-negative-self-talk
      Many people that experience the extreme trauma of rape share the feelings you express. Check out: http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/sexual-violence  It’s great you have engaged in counseling. If you feel your counselor is not right for you, than you may need to find a new one. You should always shop around until you find the best person to help you recover. Read this: http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/i-think-i-may-need-to-see-a-different-counselor We feel you would benefit from talking to the National Sexual Assault Hotline for more support on 1800-656-HOPE. Remember you’re not alone. Be proud of yourself for how far you have already come on your recovery journey. We believe in you <3

  • avatar2

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    Mariel

    i just read this and it made me feel okay, it happened to me almost the exact same way. i don’t feel so alone.

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Hi there -
      We are so sorry to hear that you have had such a painful experience. We wanted to be sure you knew about the resources at RAINN: Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1- 800-656-HOPE (4673) or online at http://apps.rainn.org/ohl-bridge
      RAINN is a free, confidential and secure crisis hotline 24/7 for victims of sexual assault or violence as well as their friends and families. No matter when this has happened to you, you can be in touch with RAINN to receive support and advice. We are thinking of you.
      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    kab17

    That happened to me a few weeks ago.. I can’t stop the flash backs and nightmares. I feel so worthless and guilty. I was drunk when it happened and the guy was completely sober. I live in a small town and the guy who did it was my X. He’s going around telling people that I’m psychotic and that I wanted it and all this other stuff that makes me sick to think about. Meanwhile I don’t try to defend myself because I don’t wast anyone to know the truth about what really happened. I want to be a “SURVIVOR” like Lauren Kroeplin said but I don’t know how I’m going to survive this… I don’t even know if I want to</p>

  • avatar2

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    willow

    I was sexually abuse and hit many times by an ex boyfriend, luckly he broke up with me. but i cut almost every night. i relive the days that i was with him over and over again. to this day i am terrified by any guy who comes near me, it was a year ago. i have a new boyfriend who knows i cut and knows alittle about what happened. recently all he cares about is how far ill go with him, hes cheated on me so im scared that if i dont do what he wants he’ll leave me, but it brings me back to my ex and i dont know what to do. i know my boy friend cares about me. </p>

  • avatar2

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    Lauren Kroeplin

    It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know what he was capable of doing. I know how you feel, I’ve been in almost the same situation. The thing is, we are not rape victims, we are SURVIVORS.

  • avatar2

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    Kelseymikayla16

    I, myself was raped.. I only in 3rd grade, so I was about nine, and Ive hid it, from everyone. But the other day in health class, we were watching a video about it, and I broke down, in front of the class.  </p>

  • avatar2

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    Greeneyes

    i know what you mean..exactly what you mean…the only thing i have is a few good friends and some of my family cares..sometimes i feel like i shouldn’t be alive because i feel like it was my fault..i shouldn’t have went with him..  i’m so glad you found a way to cope:)

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