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When I was in school, I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. It all started when the bullying did. I never used to get on well in school. In fact, I was held back a year, as I couldn’t keep up with the class’s abilities. But, when I was in art, I kinda let my passion and feelings flow freely into my work, the same with my music lessons.
I used to really struggle at math, to the extent that I had to have a teaching assistant help me because the teacher couldn’t keep stopping teaching to help me with simple things. None of my peers liked her, she used to tell them off if they misbehaved in class. Outside of class, the same group of boys would come up to me and insult me, ‘‘If you weren’t so stupid, we could have some fun in math. Eat crap.’’ They moved off of the main subject they even started with and started insulting me because of how I looked, dressed, acted, talked, everything. Friends did stick up for me, until they noticed they would get the same treatment for doing so. The tough thing was I walked home the same way as five of the boys. They continued, shouting insults and cussing at me. Those insults repeated themselves in my head, over and over. It brought me down a lot, nothing would get these horrible thoughts out of my head. I hated myself. To the point where I refused to leave the house. I thought all I’d do was mess something up, or cause someone to be upset.
I left the school. I couldn’t bare it all. But leaving the one bad thing in my life behind became a good thing. When I started the new school, I received help from the support base, and they arranged an in and out-of-school counselor. I made new friends who I could trust. I think one thing that would have helped before is to have had some friends that would support me and stick by my side no matter what.
I learned not to give up on myself, and you should, too. There is always something that can be done. Even if it’s the littlest thing, it could make the best change.
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