Overcoming my anorexia and depression
My name is Anna. When I was 13 years-old, I struggled with anorexia and depression, both went unnoticed and undiagnosed. I was a normal eighth grader. In fact, I was pretty popular. I had lots of friends and three best friends. No one noticed me changing. No one noticed me suffering.
I fought with anorexia and depression for about a year. I started comparing myself to other girls in my grade, convincing myself that they were all so much prettier and skinnier than me. I slowly stopped eating. First breakfast, then lunch, and then I got mad at myself when I ate more than 100 calories daily. Skinnier. I just wanted to be skinnier. What’s worse, I also started thinking terrible things, sad lonely things. I forced myself to smile even when I felt like crying. No one noticed what I was doing to myself. I hid it from them, my ED became my best friend. I knew if people found out, they’d make me stop. I told lies whenever possible, no one could know.
What I regret most is not having the ED in the first place, that has taught me valuable lessons, but that my anorexia rubbed off on my friend. I noticed what she was doing right away. Chugging water instead of eating at lunch, going to the bathroom after eating a few chips. Lying. She was becoming someone like me, and I let her.
I made a blog on tumblr, a different one from the one I already had. I posted things about my eating habits and how they made me feel. Everything. My parents found it. I still remember that day they talked to me. It makes me want to cry thinking about it. About how I disappointed them. I hate thinking about that day. But it was because of it that I started eating again. I decided to screw what other people thought and become a free spirit. I have, and I feel better now because no matter how much the eating disorder may feel like your friend, it’s not. Trust me.
I’m in high school now, and I know I’m beautiful because people remind me of it everyday. Living life is what it’s really about, don’t let your ED take over. Get help. Don’t hide it, you’ll regret it.