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Real Story

Once upon an eating disorder

13

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Overcoming my anorexia and depression

My name is Anna. When I was 13 years-old, I struggled with anorexia and depression, both went unnoticed and undiagnosed. I was a normal eighth grader. In fact, I was pretty popular. I had lots of friends and three best friends. No one noticed me changing. No one noticed me suffering.

I fought with anorexia and depression for about a year. I started comparing myself to other girls in my grade, convincing myself that they were all so much prettier and skinnier than me. I slowly stopped eating. First breakfast, then lunch, and then I got mad at myself when I ate more than 100 calories daily. Skinnier. I just wanted to be skinnier. What’s worse, I also started thinking terrible things, sad lonely things. I forced myself to smile even when I felt like crying. No one noticed what I was doing to myself. I hid it from them, my ED became my best friend. I knew if people found out, they’d make me stop. I told lies whenever possible, no one could know.

What I regret most is not having the ED in the first place, that has taught me valuable lessons, but that my anorexia rubbed off on my friend. I noticed what she was doing right away. Chugging water instead of eating at lunch, going to the bathroom after eating a few chips. Lying. She was becoming someone like me, and I let her.

I made a blog on tumblr, a different one from the one I already had. I posted things about my eating habits and how they made me feel. Everything. My parents found it. I still remember that day they talked to me. It makes me want to cry thinking about it. About how I disappointed them. I hate thinking about that day. But it was because of it that I started eating again. I decided to screw what other people thought and become a free spirit. I have, and I feel better now because no matter how much the eating disorder may feel like your friend, it’s not. Trust me.

I’m in high school now, and I know I’m beautiful because people remind me of it everyday. Living life is what it’s really about, don’t let your ED take over. Get help. Don’t hide it, you’ll regret it.

Comments

Responses

  • avatar2

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    ChocolateAbyss

    I love your story. I made an instagram account talking about my problems with anorexia. The people there are so much nicer than the people at school or in the neighborhood. My parents found it and freaked. I really wanted to be under 100 pounds. I am now 107. Your story is inspiring. c:

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Glad you enjoyed the story!

      Stay healthy,
      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    kalyophe

    i was planing to kill myself by getting anorexia, I keep only eating once a day, and the little i eat, i trow it up, i hope i can make it trew like you, thank you, you changed a mind, you saved a life.

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      We’re glad that reading the story helped you!  It is important to also talk about what’s bothering you, though.  One way you could do that is to call the youth helpline Your Life Your Voice at 1-800-448-3000.  The call is free, and you could talk to them about this issue with your eating, and get some great advice and resources.  They are available 24/7, so call any time!

      Stay strong,
      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    Itzel Caratachea

    I recently overcame anorexia nervosa. I’d say it was the toughest thing to overcome. It wasn’t easy at all. I didn’t have the support of my parents because they’d get frustrated at the fact that I wouldn’t eat. The fact that I’ve gained 10 pounds traumatizes me but I’m taking it one step at a time. I am 17 years old I’m 5’3 and I used to weigh 78 pounds I currently weigh 89 pounds.

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      We’re so proud of you for starting your recovery journey- well done! You’re right, recovery from an eating disorder is very difficult. It can help to explore your feelings of trauma & fears about weight gain with a mental health professional, or nutritionist. For more tips to help you overcome your eating disorder check out: http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/overcoming-an-eating-disorder We wish you all the best!

  • avatar2

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    seddagirl456

    this story helped me thank you!

  • avatar2

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    EDHelpPlease

    I am anorexic. I am getting smaller every day, and nobody as noticed yet. I haven’t told anyone, but this has inspired me to get help. Thank you.

    • avatar1

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      ReachOut

      Hey there, we’re really happy that this story inspired you and that you’ve decided to get help!  Anorexia can be harmful to your body, so don’t wait to tell to someone, be it your parents or a friend.  Or if you just want to talk to someone anonymously, try The Boys Town National Hotline 24/7 at 1-800-448-3000 or online email & live chat support available at http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org .  You can have a peek at this factsheet for getting help and for more info: http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/anorexia-nervosa . We are thinking of you and wishing you the best! The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

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    Kelseycaden1017

    I went through the exact same thing…i no longer have the eatin disorder but im still struggling with depresion, My parents found out about my disorder through a diary i had. Thanks for sharing your story and letting me know that im not alone.

  • avatar2

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    Julia

    Thank you so much for sharing your story! I admire how strong you are! I also had a blog on tumblr which fueled my eating habits… I deleted it the other week because I’m hoping I can begin to get better just as you have. 

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