NEED HELP NOW? 1800-448-3000
Real Story

My bullying experience

12

Our Stories are written by young people for young people. If you want to share your story, we encourage you to do so in the ReachOut Forums.

Photo by: scarlatti2004

Many people ask me how I survived the bullying. ..

People have asked me questions such as: “Who are the bullies, are they friends?”, “Where did the bullying occur?”, “What would you do when you were bullied?”, “How did you deal with the bullying?”, or “Did you think of committing suicide?”. I knew who the bullies were. They were my best friends. I was bullied from 8th grade to my freshman year, and every day they picked on me for my race. And for a bit one person made comments implying that I’m gay. They would make jokes and call me names like “Gandhi” and others who are the same race as me. During PE, one person in particular would make comments while we were changing in the locker room, implying that I was gay.  That person would say that I was staring at people of the same sex while they were dressing. I am not gay, and I am accepting of those who are.  But, when this person labeled me as gay, I felt, in a way, violated and disrespected. I did not like how people would label me with names, such as gay and Gandhi, even if I were to do absolutely nothing or appear as “different” to them. I feel that people most commonly use the words “gay” or “faggot” to describe people who are different from them and who they feel don’t belong. They felt that it was all a joke, but it was torture and abuse to me.

I repeatedly asked them to stop, but they ignored me every time. It took them over a year, but they finally stopped when an SOS student offering support jumped in. My school therapist/counselor, who’s in charge of SOS, arranged mediation with herself, a few student conflict mediators, the students, one at a time, and me to discuss the racial comments. I remember one of them saying, “I wanted him to explode in anger. I wanted him to start screaming and have a meltdown.” I can’t tell you how angry I was to hear that from someone who I thought was my friend. When I heard that, I felt like my life ended because I felt like all of my friends were trying to do the same. I felt abused. I felt tortured. I felt that I was used for their entertainment. Some of them felt and still feel that I “snitched,” “ratted,” or “tattled” on them, but I know that I do not deserve to be bullied. And most of all, I felt that I was used by my friends for them to gain popularity. They don’t and didn’t know how the bullying affected me. I tried so hard to get them to stop and understand that enough was enough, but none of them listened. There were so many silent witnesses who I wished would’ve spoken up or at least said something positive to me.

From my experience, I felt that I needed to take action to prevent this from happening to others. But never once did I think of committing suicide. I knew deep down that there was a way out, and suicide was not an option for dealing with bullying. I knew that the only way out without transferring schools and having the bullying continue was to tell an adult on campus. I can honestly tell you that I still have anxiety and depression, and I always will. But, the feeling of talking to peers, sharing my story, and having the opportunity to help someone in need is exceedingly good. I am not thankful that I was bullied, which made me get involved in SOS, but I am thankful for the outcome of the bullying. I have actually helped so many people, and it’s the best feeling. I helped one of my old friends, for a year straight via text message, overcome four years of bullying from school, problems with friends and family and family members’ life-threatening illnesses. Now he is better than ever, and he is now openly gay. I’ve helped friends with relationship issues, coping from sexual harassment, sports-related issues, etc. I am thankful that my school has zero tolerance for any form of bullying and for the support from my teachers, school administrators, and SOS members, who are now my good friends.

At my high school we have a program called SOS, students offering support, which is a group run by our school’s therapist/counselor and core members. Our SOS group has a program within the larger program called “Freshman Transition,” through which SOS members teach freshman students about their group - my group is “Sticks and Stones: Bullying Prevention.” Since the rise of homophobia in high school, I am trying to incorporate it with my presentation. In the program, we have other groups such as “Suicide/Depression,” “Better Safe than Pregnant,” “Academic Stress,” and more. During the presentations, the presenter(s) shows their PowerPoint, video clips, and games and shares their personal story. By sharing my personal story, I feel that it takes the pain away knowing that my story will inspire, at least one student to stand up to bullying. As long as I can help one person, I feel that I am making a difference.

Bullying happens in the classroom and through phone calls, letters/notes, text messaging, Facebook, and even behind people’s back. It’s hard to stop bullying because most bullies are able to cover up their tracks. Bullies bully where people can’t see or hear them.  Bullies bully when teachers aren’t looking, and bullies bully when the victim isn’t looking. My experience with bullying was tremendous, and my story goes on and on. But all I want to do now is help others who are being bullied and prevent bullying from happening.

Read other bullying stories or share your own in the forums.

Comments

Responses

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    mike223

    I’m being bullied by some friends they all ways call me ostrich rat and I don’t like it I tell the teachers and they don’t do anything about them calling me names I keep saying to myself that killing myself would teach them a lessen or at less pretending to will make them fell sorry for me and they might stop

    • avatar1

      Reply - Quote

      ReachOut

      It sucks that your friends are teasing you like that.  Is one of them more reasonable than the others, that they’d maybe listen to you when you say how much it bothers you? Maybe you could talk to that person alone, and gain their help.  This fact sheet might give you some other ideas:  http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/what-to-do-if-you-are-being-bullied

      But harming yourself as a way to punish them isn’t a good idea, of course.  It would hurt you more than them, with much longer consequences for you.

      Consider calling the helpline at Your Life Your Voice.  The number is 1-800-448-3000, and they can be reached any time, 24/7.  The call is free and confidential.

      Stay strong,
      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    nevermore72

    Hey, I just really wanted to say that you’re extremely brave for sticking up to your bullies and super strong for taking their crap. There has been occasions when I’ve been bullied also, but that’s the past. I’ve learned to just shut out negative comments because that’s just what they are, negative words. And whenever it gets physical, I learned to distance myself from wherever they’ll likely be. I absolutely detest bullying. It’s inhumane and disgraceful. My sister was bullied during her 8th grade year all the way until halfway through her senior year in high school. I’m not gonna go into details on how she was bullied, but lets just say it always left her in tears after school. I’ve tried my very best to find out who her bullies were, but she was always too scared or worried to tell me. I always had a free shoulder for her to cry on, and I was always their to crack some wise-ass joke to make her feel better. But the truth was, she was still getting bullied. Anyways, we’re in college now and I’ve noticed how all those negative words effected her. She was a bring and bubbly girl before the bullying. Now, she walks in a shuffling manner, her head down low, and always so insecure. Sadly, throughout high school we didn’t have a SOS program. My sister just resorted to constantly changing her classes. We have an anti-bullying group that the community has put up, but it’s really small and not many people know about it. My advice to people who’s been bullied or who is being bullied: Don’t take their crap. That doesn’t mean start a fight with them or get revenge. It means stop listening to their words, don’t let them put you down, don’t let them destroy you, and get some help. Tell people, and I don’t mean teachers, I mean people like close friends, a scary uncle, or even random people so they’re aware of these rude and inconsiderate bullies. Be brave, and NEVER let someone else bring you down because this is YOUR life, and they have NO control over you. Good luck, and I hope this helps. smile

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    arismi23

    Hi,my name is unknown heres my story, My brother is 8 and his best friends name was wyatt,i used to date wyatt, once school started back up he went out with this girl we all went to the dance and I meet her there, then I realized she was in my kick ball club. We talked for a while and i broke up with my bf i was dating at the time, then we got into a fight. So I left,now she keeps bulling me and wont stop i told my teacher but whatever

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    BrokenAngel

    To me bullies are people who have troubles but dont know how to express them, so they take it out on others. That’s not an excuse to hurt others though. I love you story for I’ve been through the same thing.

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    mickeymouse

    Thank you fro sharing your story. I can understand what you’ve been through i went through bullying during high school and it is hard to deal with being bullied by the ones you’re close to especially if they’re you’re friends. i didn’t take the stand that you did however i faced it alone and didn’t turn to anyone not because i had nobody to turn to but because i did’nt feel confident enough i commend you for reaching out for help and i thank you for sharing your story. one thing that was told to me is if someone tries to knock you down get back up and continue on because you are meant for great things. so keep it up and be strong

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    hussey

    i now someone that has the same problem that u r haveing and he is sick of it but he tells them to stop and they don’t but they finly stoped and he had a good rest of the year.

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    Selena98

    From what I’ve seen, males are bullied all the time by their friends. Most of the time they’re not so vocal about it and rarely do they actually do anything to stop it. It’s good that you took a stance and stood up for yourself. Even if they do call you a “snitch”, you were brave enough to face that possibility when you reached out. It shows that you valued yourself more than their opinion of you. So that’s way more courageous and admirable than letting them beat you down.

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    kittymaria00

    Thank you, for sharing that story. I have never heard a bullying story from a male POV. I don’t think it’s fair at all for them to treat you like that :( But its a very good thing that you got involved with other kids that have problems. I really hope you grow up to be really successful one day!!

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    Katherine Irene

    Thank you so much for sharing your story and offering a male perspective on bullying. It makes me glad to feel my experience validated through you since, like me , you agree that healing doesn’t mean erasing all traces of hurt. The words of bullies sometimes leave scars that may make it harder for one to be as self-confident as one could be. But no matter what hurt they left behind, the important thing is to stand up like you are doing and help others regain their sense of dignity and respect. In helping others, we too heal. Wonderful story! smile

Commenting has been closed for this entry.