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Learning from my alcoholic dad

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How alcoholism destroyed my dad’s life

I am still in high school right now, but after my experiences with my father and his abusiveness, I feel much more mature and have a lot more ambition in life.  I promised myself that I wouldn’t drink and do drugs after this whole experience because I am not putting my family through nonsense that could be avoided.  I am working hard in school to get into college and get a job to support my family and me. I don’t feel as if I have to, but I want to because my mom deserves more than everything in this world after this experience.

My dad was a recovering addict, but he was one of the nicest men you could have known. He had a rough exterior, but he would give you anything, and he was hilarious.  Then he made a new younger friend at his job and that’s when everything went downhill. His newfound friend was a drug abuser and drank a lot. My father was clean for over seven years, but recovering is a lifelong process.  My dad started drinking, and he would come home when he was sober enough and act like nothing had happened. Then he started taking steroids. For my birthday we went to Canada, where he got many other drugs.  After Canada, it was a downward spiral.  He was drinking in the house and screaming at my mom, coming into my room crying at 2 a.m. and talking about killing himself. One night, he went out and ended up in jail for having four different type of drugs in his car and being drunk at the same time. 

We went to go pick him up and had a serious talk in the car. He agreed to clean up.  Then his family wanted to force an intervention on him.  The day of the intervention one of his family members allowed him to smoke in her car, and when they got into the intervention everything went insane. He almost hit my mom, and we had to leave our house because my own father put us in harm’s way. After that, they planned on getting a divorce, and he would harass my mom and call her horrible names. In the beginning, I used to talk to him, but then he started to get worse with my mom and also with my brother, saying how he wish he wasn’t alive and such. I decided that I would never want to talk to him again because you’re never supposed to talk to anyone like that. 

No one should have to deal with anyone under the influence; that is the reason drugs are illegal. If you are dealing with someone who is on drugs, then first you can talk to them about it and get them programs to help them. But eventually, if they aren’t listening, it’s time to step up your game and try to get away from them because they will bring you down with them.

I am still making the best of this situation everyday. I am working harder in school and doing so much better. If you let them bring you down, they will. So don’t let them. Work harder and be a better person. Talk to people. It will always make things better to get it off your chest.  If I made it, you can too.

Comments

Responses

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    rosemarie_49

    My father has a drinking problem too.We left and went to my sister’s house.I didn’t want to come back but my mom made me.I hate how she makes me come back even though i don’t want to.I needed more time to think about it.I needed more time to forgive him for all the horrible things he’d said to me.I’ve came back but i’m still not fully happy.Christmas is almost here and its time for family.I do still feel  a little resentful towards him.I just hope that someday things can go back to normal..i’m going to need time.A lot of it.

    • avatar2

      Reply - Quote

      Kylie_Spiderman

      My father is becoming and addict to drinking and one night me and him had gotten into a fight and he slap me so right now i’m trying to work it out with him and trying to help him with the drinking problem and to have him stop I don’t want our problem to happen again.

      • avatar1

        Reply - Quote

        ReachOut

        Hi Kylie,

        I am very sorry you are having to deal with this. You shouldn’t have to experience violence against yourself, and you shouldn’t have to be the adult in this situation. I hope that you know you can talk to others about this, you can tell other adults what is going on because it is not okay that your father hits you. Please consider giving our youth helpline Your Life Your Voice a call, the number is 1-800-448-3000. The people on the other end can provide input and resources for you. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, please talk to someone - a friend, a family member, a teacher, a counselor. You don’t have to go through this alone.

        There are professionals who can help your dad get his addiction under control, and with that help, perhaps he can also get his abusive habits under control too.

        Please take a look at these factsheets:

        http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/helping-a-friend-with-a-drinking-problem
        http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/child-abuse
        http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/assessing-your-safety

        Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, let others in and let them help you and your dad.

        Take care,

        The ReachOut Crew

    • avatar1

      Reply - Quote

      ReachOut

      Hi there -
      So sorry to hear how difficult this is. People who drink too much often say and do things that can be hurtful to others. Forgiveness can be hard when the problem continues. Try to surround yourself with positive people over the holiday and believe in yourself, not the things your father has said. We are thinking of you. Hang in there.
      The ReachOut Crew

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