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Real Story

Looking after me

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Photo by: h.koppdelaney

This is my week… my days… my hours… my minutes…

Sometimes its hard to see yourself for the chaos of the things that are going on around you… and sometimes you just don’t want to because other peoples’ problems are easier to deal with than those close to your heart… but sometimes you have to just look after yourself.

This week I learned something. I learned that sometimes I have to be nice to myself… and if I don’t look after myself, I am useless to everyone else.

There is so much on my plate. The school work is mounting up, exams are approaching fast, I have essays due, again I am committed to doing 101 things with church, a friend of mine tragically passed away and I have the flu on top of it all… when stress upon stress mounts up its hard to see a way through.

Usually I lose the plot. I panic… this week I was challenged with a new idea… how about I look after myself first… how about putting myself as number one and forgetting all else for a short while. Its not about being selfish… just having some time and space to get my head around things, to deal with stuff that is happening and to get some decent sleep. To heal physically and emotionally.

So I am trying. This week no school work will be done. This week no meetings will be attended. This week no one will hold me accountable… I give myself permission to fall apart and think and cry and heal… I give myself permission to spend time with friends that I am comfortable with and not spend time alone…and to not stare aimlessly at the pages of that text book for the 100th time in the last 3 weeks. This is my week… my days… my hours… my minutes… my time for only me.

Sometimes in order to be able to look after yourself, you have to make hard decisions. To workaholic perfectionist me, these decisions are extremely difficult… but I WILL be nice to myself… and then I will heal… and hopefully with more thinking time, more relaxation time and a decrease in stress levels, things in my life will become less chaotic. I will heal physically and emotionally… and then I can turn back to the sometimes hectic life I lead, able once more to help others and hopefully on a continuing path to looking after me. Coz sometimes you just have to look after yourself.

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