Last year I knew something was wrong, I had thoughts of suicide and self harm and no one had any idea that anything was wrong. I would write all my thoughts in my personal diary which was read late last year by my own mother. She sought advice from our doctor and ever since I have been seeing a psychologist and every now and again a psychiatrist. Things didn’t get anywhere, I was still feeling worthless and I found it hard to open up to my psych, but she knew something was wrong so she had me hospitalized (supposedly for my own safety) and I stayed there for a week or so.
Then nearly one month later I took an overdose on pain killers and was once again admitted to the hospital, this time for just over 2 weeks. Things had begun changing at home, I mean in a good way, and I started to see everyone trying to support me. by now I had changed psychologists as I felt that my old one wasn’t doing anything for me and have been seeing my new one ever since.
I’m not going to lie, it was still really hard, and once again I tried overdosing, but this time to a greater extent. My mom found me in my room unconscious and I was taken to hospital by ambulance. It was I guess a wake up call. Seeing my mom so frantic about what I had done, there were tears, arguments and fear from both sides.
Nearly a month had gone by, and now things are looking up, I’ve doubled my meds, are making progress with my psych and am getting along great with my family. Everyone is so much more understanding now, I know I’m far from recovery but now I am starting to see the light. I guess it takes patience, a supporting family, the right meds and the right psychiatrist and psychologist. I’ve finally realized that people are put out there to help others and I am extremely grateful for that. I hope in the future I may be able to do that for someone else’s life.