My name is Harley, I’m 19, and I live in Louisiana. I was self- harming before I even knew what that was. I was burning and cutting myself without really understanding why.
It all started in the fourth grade when my dad cheated on my mom and he left us. A week after he left, I burned myself and at school I made up a ridiculous story. I would also cut, burn myself and rub my skin. I was hateful and depressed. I hated the world and felt like it had wronged me somehow. I hated seeing my friends with their dads and seeing them happy. I felt bad for feeling that way, but I couldn’t help it. I felt like the world would be better off without me. This continued until I was 17 when I tried to kill myself. My teachers and the nurse at my school sent me to a hospital called River Oaks and my life was saved.
In the hospital, I met people just like me. People who thought they were alone in the world and were the only ones feeling like that. I made it through by talking to the kids in my group and to my doctor. Getting all my frustrations and hate for the world off my chest was so relieving, and then hearing others say that they understood what I was going through and knew how I felt. It’s an amazing feeling to know that I’m not alone in the world, and I’m not the only one who felt that hate and sadness.
Having those feelings isn’t and shouldn’t be the end. Talking to others is EXTREMELY helpful, and I would suggest joining a group. Asking for help is hard, but it’s even harder to go at it alone.