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Real Story

I made it through

2

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My name is Harley, I’m 19, and I live in Louisiana. I was self- harming before I even knew what that was. I was burning and cutting myself without really understanding why.

It all started in the fourth grade when my dad cheated on my mom and he left us. A week after he left, I burned myself and at school I made up a ridiculous story. I would also cut, burn myself and rub my skin. I was hateful and depressed. I hated the world and felt like it had wronged me somehow. I hated seeing my friends with their dads and seeing them happy. I felt bad for feeling that way, but I couldn’t help it. I felt like the world would be better off without me. This continued until I was 17 when I tried to kill myself. My teachers and the nurse at my school sent me to a hospital called River Oaks and my life was saved.

In the hospital, I met people just like me. People who thought they were alone in the world and were the only ones feeling like that. I made it through by talking to the kids in my group and to my doctor. Getting all my frustrations and hate for the world off my chest was so relieving, and then hearing others say that they understood what I was going through and knew how I felt. It’s an amazing feeling to know that I’m not alone in the world, and I’m not the only one who felt that hate and sadness.

Having those feelings isn’t and shouldn’t be the end. Talking to others is EXTREMELY helpful, and I would suggest joining a group. Asking for help is hard, but it’s even harder to go at it alone.

Comments

Responses

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    Fionna

    i burn myself..somtimes i do it cuz i like how it feels but mostly…cuz im mad the last time i did it cuz i was workingout 4 a hole month and i lost nothing so it was like a punishment ig

    • avatar1

      Reply - Quote

      ReachOut

      Hey Fiona -
      We are worried to hear how you are harming yourself. We suspect that you realize this is not a healthy way to cope with your negative feelings. We encourage you to seek help from a mental health professional so you can learn healthier ways to cope. Have you checked out the section on ReachOut about Finding People to Help and Support You? http://us.reachout.com/get-help/finding-people-to-help-and-support-you You might also enjoy this video story about how another person learned to distract herself when she had the urge to self harm http://us.reachout.com/wecanhelpus/. And please remember if you want to talk or email with someone who will listen right now and help, contact the Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000 or http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/aboutus/Pages/3WaystoGetHelp.aspx  for live chat and email support.
      Hang in there. It can get better.
      The ReachOut Crew

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