NEED HELP NOW? 1800-448-3000
Real Story

I hate being alone

10

Our Stories are written by young people for young people. If you want to share your story, we encourage you to do so in the ReachOut Forums.

Photo by: kT LindSAy

Hello. My name is Megan. I’m a freshman in high school and am usually a happy person.  I go to school, put on a smiling face and try to enjoy the day. But, sometimes, it gets hard. I have a phobia of being left alone. It’s called monophobia. Monophobia is an acute fear of being alone and having to cope without a specific person.

About 7 months ago, I fell wildly in love with a boy. I know, a lot of people think I’m really too young to be in love, but with monophobia it’s easy to get closely attached to people. And, soon came the day, he was ready to move on. I began to have panic and anxiety attacks, crying his name in the middle of the night. I’d lock myself in my closet, not letting anyone in.

Recently, I’ve been going to therapy. With monophobia, you can’t bully or talk someone out of their phobia. We don’t talk about it, but we work on the fear. I’m doing better than I was, and I feel open with sharing my story.

Reachout has helped me, and so has my therapy. I still have loads of it to go because I still don’t feel stable alone. But, I’m getting through it. A little bit at a time.

Comments

Responses

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    ljllama

    I’m a freshman and i hate being alone. I walked into a new school and nobody said anything. I’m 6 foot 4. I’m 14. I’m too tall. At first it was lonely but i started talking to people. Still some people don’t like me. My friends tried to hook me up with a girl and I became to attached then she told me that we needed a break and I got mad and cussed her out. I feel really bad and apologized. She didn’t want anything to do with me. I’m back at square one. No one likes me. Not even my friends. One mistake can ruin everything.Now I’m addicted to drugs and alcohol and cigarettes. I need help.

    • avatar1

      Reply - Quote

      ReachOut

      Maybe just try being friendly with people, saying hello, asking a few simple questions about them.  Make a few new friends.  Join some clubs or sports or other smaller groups of people with similar interests.

      Could you talk to a school counselor about the problems with drugs and alcohol?  Let them know that you need some help to overcome it?  Contacting a group like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous might be really helpful for you.  You can call the helpline at Your Life Your Voice for support any time, day or night, as well.  Their number is 1-800-448-3000.  They can also be reached by text between 6 pm and midnight (central time).  Just send VOICE to 20121 to start a conversation with them.

      This is something you could talk about with your (anonymous) peer group in our forums.  To get there, just click “Forums” at the top of this page, or go to http://us.reachout.com/forums/forum.php

      Hope to see you there.
      —The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    Chrysta

    The only time I have panic attacks is when im alone. I usually dont like to be alone either. Do you think I might have monophobia? Thanks!

    • avatar1

      Reply - Quote

      ReachOut

      HI there -
      The best way to diagnose a problem is to meet with a mental health professional who can listen to your concerns and help you figure out next step to help yourself feel better. You might want to check out the Get Help, Finding People to Help and Support you section of ReachOut for more information ( http://us.reachout.com/get-help/finding-people-to-help-and-support-you ).
      The ReachOut Crew

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    catladyyyy

    i think i have this! 
    i feel like I’m going to be a 80 year old virgin with 187 cats… no love no kids no life…. like that is for real my biggest fear. I’m not joking or kidding in anyway. Im 18 and i have never actually even been on a date- I’ve never been in a relationship at all. I’m big too… so its pretty hard because i know people think I’m ugly just because of that. but really? i don’t get any love in life because I’m slightly bigger then the rest of the sticks? greatttttt. so besides my few “friends” and my mom (parents are divorced) I’m alone- like i have 3 guys in my phone and one is my uncle! I don’t mean to be on the pity pot- I’m just saying is there anyone else like this? i don’t even know what an actual relationship is? 

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    Cj1860

    I was brought to tears to read a story so close to mine, I’ve started therapy now as a freshmen in college, to learn that my ultimate fear is of just being alone.
    At night I begin to feel the anxiety build when I wonder, Who will kiss me goodnight?
    I’ve gotten stronger, and I hope you will too-
    Focus on yourself. Your not alone. Take a hot bath, and relax, know your not alone, care about yourself, take pride in yourself.
    So far, this is the only thing helping me.
    Thank you, this has already helped to have read this.

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    Courtney

    Oh wow im going through the same thing its really hard coping with im 17….He was my everything and one day he just tells me he has no feelings for me anymore =( and like 7 days later he is saying he likes this other girl and she is my best friend idk how to deal with this its extremely hard on me idkk what to do anymore i just wanna crawl in a ball and just stay there. Im not able to eat at all..if i do i get sick after i eat…..idk what to do…. =’‘(

    • avatar1

      Reply - Quote

      ReachOut

      This is so very painful. It is so hard when someone’s feelings for you change, yet yours remain the same. It’s hard at this point to see that things will get better, but yet they will. We hope that you have someone you can trust who will listen to how you feel. If you want to talk to someone right now, please reach out to the Boys Town National Hotline (1-800-448-3000), they are not for boys only, and are available to listen 24/7. We are thinking of you. The Reach Out Crew

      • avatar1

        Reply - Quote

        ReachOut

        Thank you

Commenting has been closed for this entry.