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Real Story

Depression can take it’s toll on you

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Hi, my name is Nicole. I’m 20 years old. I’ve been dealing with my depression since I was in the seventh grade. I didn’t know how to feel happy anymore. I could only remember the bad times. I let them take over me. I started to punish myself for how I felt, and what I was dealing with at home. It started off with cutting a.k.a self-harm. Cutting made me feel in control of my pain. Anything that I couldn’t control was taken out on me.

Then I started to use drugs. I didn’t care how much it cost. I always found ways of getting what I wanted. I hated life; I was beyond depressed. I wanted to die. I hated myself for not being able to keep the same friends. Every year I had to give up and start over.

I lost my dad who I blame for all my hate inside of me. In the end I let my depression take the best of me. I no longer blamed him, but I regret pushing him away. I felt like I could no longer trust anyone. It all came down to me trying to take my life. I wanted out of this whole mess I was stuck inside of. A broken home, that felt hollow. I woke inside of a hospital where they told me I had overdosed. “I was lucky to be alive” they told me.

After that I no longer wanted to be depressed, I wanted to smile just for once in my life. I looked at my sister and brother and told them I wanted help. Taking that step towards getting help saved me. I used to think life could only get worse. Now I look at my family and think how I could have just left them behind. They need me. People may come and go in life, but you leave a mark on everyone. I wanted to be strong again. I got rid of people who brought me down. I made new friends who taught me new lessons in life, but this time around I didn’t let it get the best of me. Writing has become my outlet for my pain. Yes, from time to time I do get sad, and it’s okay. We are all allowed to be sad. But we should never punish ourselves. Remember as bad as things may seem people need you so never just give up. Ask for help. I did.

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    Nicole Marie Miotto

    I read my story all the time. it reminds me to not give up this fight against my depression..

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