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Thread: I just want to end it!

  1. #1
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    I just want to end it!

    Hey it's me again with my whining, but what can i do i have no one to talk to. It's December and in a few weeks it's gonna be a new year, everyone will be out there partying and i will be all alone in my house. I actually met a couple of new people through a person i know(right i don't have any friends, and it ain't drama, it's just a sad fact). I was so intimidated by their appearance, and not so surprisingly all i could think of was how they got to enjoy their life while i was just living alone. I never contacted any of them again because i now know my another inner demon that is consuming my soul from inside, JEALOUSY. I just realized the reason i'm not on facebook was because i just couldn't help myself when i see people interacting and having fun., yeah i know i'm a f***king monster. I don't know why i have been such an outcast. The sad thing i guess is i'm an atheist, at least religious people have the hope of salvation, or eternal bliss,or reincarnation, but it is too much of bs for me. I just want this miserable life of mine to end. Sad and alone. Sorry to bother you.

    P.S. I know some kind of admin has to post a couple of links to how can i cope and other stuff, but don't bother, i've read them all.

  2. #2
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hello ConfusedPostTeen,

    I'm really glad that you came here to talk with us today. It sounds like you are going through such a tough time, and I am truly sorry for that. You may be feeling really sad and alone right now, and the world may look so bleak, but there is always hope.

    The very first thing that really hit me when I opened this thread to read it was the word jealousy. I can see that you really struggle with that, and even go as far to call yourself a monster. You are not a monster. Do you feel that you can look this jealousy in the eyes and confront it? When comparing yourself with others, do you feel it may be holding you back from making these friendships? I know it can be so difficult not to compare yourself, or wish you had or were this or that, but you have great qualities in yourself as well.

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...tive-self-talk
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...-end-your-life

    I understand that you have read some fact sheets, and I'm glad to hear that you've been checking them out, but I wanted to link a couple of them up, just in case you didn't come across them on your search. Did you find some coping strategies in your search that you feel you may want to try? So many people find writing to be helpful, as well as things like meditation, yoga, taking walks, and expressing their feelings through art or music.

    One thing that you can do, even right now, is call the helpline Your Life Your Voice at 1-800-448-3000. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, confidential, secure, and free to call. They also offer options such as an online chat (which is available from 6 pm to midnight CST), and an email option. For more information, you can visit their page HERE.

    http://us.reachout.com/get-help/gett...lp-in-a-crisis - This information sheet includes a lot of additional resources.

    I want you to know that we are all here for you, and we really care about you here! Stay strong! You are not alone!
    Last edited by Mandy_Moderator; 12-07-2015 at 12:44 PM.
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

  3. #3
    ReachOut Regular Never2Late's Avatar
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    I really hope you begin to feel better. I understand how you are feeling, but maybe not quite to that extent. Jealousy is a hard thing to get rid of, but as soon as you start to see good qualities within yourself, you won't feel that pang of jealousy. It's going to take some time. What you can do is write five things you really like about yourself everyday. It doesn't even have to be physical appearances that you like. It could range from personality qualities to the way you speak to anything else you can think of. Things will begin to look up for you. Just wait it out and soon the sun will begin to shine for you.

  4. #4
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    Hello Confused Post Teen,
    it is okay to be an outcast, i am to. I am a very big outcast i attract the wrong type of guys its really horrible i attract the fuckboys the druggies, the alcoholics, the smokers, the gangsters, the thugs, the stealers, the liars, the women abusers it is really awful i attract the wrong people and i get hurt really bad and i want to change but its really hard having that put on me and I'm emo and I'm suicidal so it has been very hard.

  5. #5
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bayhawks14 View Post
    Hello Confused Post Teen,
    it is okay to be an outcast, i am to. I am a very big outcast i attract the wrong type of guys its really horrible i attract the fuckboys the druggies, the alcoholics, the smokers, the gangsters, the thugs, the stealers, the liars, the women abusers it is really awful i attract the wrong people and i get hurt really bad and i want to change but its really hard having that put on me and I'm emo and I'm suicidal so it has been very hard.
    Hello bayhawks! It's totally OK to march (dance, strut, skip...) to the beat of your own drum. Unique qualities are what make life so interesting and beautiful!

    Goodness, I can see that you've been through so much, and I am truly sorry for that. It sounds so overwhelming. In another post, you mentioned having a wonderful counselor, and I'm glad to hear that. Is she someone that you have been able to talk with, and work through the emotions these experiences have triggered? Do you have others in your life that you can open with up? Someone like a family member or someone like a school counselor, teacher or other trusted adult?

    Something that I find really helpful is writing. Do you journal? Perhaps you can write out a list of some qualities you like about yourself, achievements, and even some goals if you'd like. On those tough days, or times when you are faced with struggles, look back on those words and remember how amazing and strong you truly are! Other things that can help, you pretty much listed in another post that you made, and I'm so happy to hear that you have a list full of great coping strategies to turn to.

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...-end-your-life
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...meone-can-help

    I mentioned the helpline Your Life Your Voice is my other response, but I'll give you the information here as well, so you don't have to search for it too much! The number to call is 1-800-448-3000, and you can visit their page via THIS LINK to find out more about this and other wonderful options. I also saw that you text quite a bit (as mentioned in your other post) so I think you might be interested to know that they offer a texting option between the hours of 6 pm to midnight CST by texting VOICE to 20121. You'll see more information about that on their page as well. I hope you'll get in touch with them, they are so helpful!

    I know that it may feel so bleak right now, but there is always hope. Keep holding onto that hope, and remember that you are cared about! We're all here for you!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

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