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Thread: i was raped by my bff, can i trust him?

  1. #1
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    i was raped by my bff, can i trust him?

    i was raped by my best friend at a party. ive knew him for 7 years, and i would have trusted him with my life. im 15 he is 16. he was drunk, he pulled me outside. he started undressing me and told me to shut up, i thought he might hurt me if i fight to much so i stopped. he raped me. i left in the morning, i haven’t told anyone. at school he walked up to me in the middle of lunch. he broke down in tears and apologized over and over, i told him to stay away from me and spent the rest of the day hiding in one of the toilet stalls. can i trust him...

  2. #2
    Administrator Susie_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hey there,

    I'm so, so sorry this has happened. It's especially hard, I would think, to be betrayed in this terrible way by something you thought was a close friend. It sounds like you've realized he is not your friend -- no friend could do this to another friend. And if he can do this to a friend, imagine what he might do to someone else. Even if it seems hard, it's a good idea to report this. If nothing else, he needs help. Have you told anyone?

    You could talk this over by making contact with the helpline at Your Life Your Voice. They're available by phone (1-800-448-3000) any time 24/7, or you can reach them via email, text or online chat. To read about all of those methods, just click here.

    There's also a site called RAINN.org that can help. RAINN means "Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network," and they can be reached at 1- 800-656-HOPE (4673), any time, day or night.

    It sounds like you already know the answer, unfortunately, to your "can I trust him" question. You stayed away from him, and hid in the bathroom. You don't have to hide, my friend. Tell someone, maybe a counselor at school? They can help you with the rest.

    We care about you.
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  3. #3
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    well, the reason im still hesitating to report it and still considereing the friendship is, he was heavily intoxicated. he's been a goody two shoes and has been so perfect all his life a A+ student and this was his first ever slip up. i know what its like to make mistakes and regret them after, could it be a one time mistake? if i report this it could ruin his life...

  4. #4
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    Give it some time. If he's still wanting forgiveness after you give yourself time to think, then go for it. Maybe even start off slow, like only being near him if other people are around. Whatever makes you feel safe.

  5. #5
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hello noname,

    I am truly, so sorry for what happened, and what you have been through. You sound like someone who has such a caring and forgiving heart, and I think that’s a really amazing quality to have. It sounds like you’re processing a lot right now, and feeling so conflicted. Coming here to talk was a really brave thing to do. Talking with people in your life can be so helpful as well. Someone like a family member or other adult that you trust and respect. I am absolutely with everything that Susie said in her post. Your safety is really, so important. As she said, even though it may be hard, it’s a good idea to report it, if for nothing else, because he needs help.

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/sexual-violence
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...meone-can-help

    Did you have a chance to call either of the helplines? Both the helpline Your Life Your Voice and RAINN are really helpful, and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. No matter what, there is someone that you can talk to. You are not alone!

    We are all here for you, and we truly care! Stay strong!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

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