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Thread: A Long Struggle

  1. #1
    ReachOut Regular Never2Late's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015

    A Long Struggle

    It sucks having depression, but it's worse when it never seems to go away. How could someone so young feel that way? How could they do that to their body? Do they realize what they are doing to the ones that they love? Do they realize what they are doing to themselves?? Most people don't think these questions when they are on the verge of committing suicide, or maybe it's the complete opposite. Maybe that is all they are thinking.. This has been me on several occasions. I've had this fight with depression and self harm since I was eleven. I am sixteen now. I didn't think it would last this long. I thought I would either be dead or better in the future. I was improving these past few months, but something just went off in my head and I could no longer hold it in. All this emotional pain started coming back. I wasn't sure how to handle, so I did was I had always done before.. I resorted to self harming. It is so difficult to explain how it helps me. It's like picking up that cigarette when you become stressed, even though you told yourself you were going to quit. It's like devouring a handful of medication to make the pain go away. No one tells you that self harming is wrong, until you do it. It isn't a discussion people are willing to have. But it needs to be talked about. The only reason I am saying this is because I don't want to trapped in this hole I dug myself, this deep hole that I can't get out of by myself. I told my parents about everything, even confessing to trying to commit suicide a few times. Now I am going to get help. But it is going to be a very long process. I am going to get medication and I start therapy soon. This issue with depression and self harm need to be discussed because people should not have to feel alone in this. They should not feel like they have to hurt themselves to make themselves feel better. Maybe talking about it won't help everybody, but it sure will help somebody. I have fought this depression for a while, and I do not wish anyone to feel the way I have felt for years.

  2. #2
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Welcome to ReachOut Never2Late! I'm really glad that you've decided to come here to talk with us. You took such a brave step today, and I believe that you are going to get through this with each and every step that you take!

    It sounds like you have struggled for a few years now, and I'm truly sorry for that. I can see that you have talked with your parents, and have plans of seeking help from a therapist. I also see a strong person in this post. Someone who has been through tough times and is breaking out of the darkness.

    When you feel the urges to self-harm, how about tearing up some newspaper, hitting a pillow or punching bag, or throwing ice cubes against a wall? Some people find it really helpful to write in a journal, distract with a tv show/movie, or do something artistic like painting or dancing.

    Another thing you can do is call the helpline Your Life Your Voice at 1-800-448-3000. You can call them when you're feeling the urges, or when you'd just like someone to talk. So, basically, any time at all since they are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You could even call them right now. For more information on this and other ways to contact them, you can visit their page via THIS link.

    No matter what, there is always someone that you can talk with! You are not alone! Stay strong! Brighter days are on the horizon for you!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

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