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Thread: It gets worse

  1. #1
    ReachOut Regular iamnick's Avatar
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    It gets worse

    Hello. Gay means happy but i am sad. By the time i realised that i am gay. I feel sad very sad. Nothing is going good with my life anymore. I am terrified of telling to my parents that i am gay. My grades have fallen. Afriend of my best friend died yesterday. Everyone say It gets better. No it's not. I just want a break.

    ~Nick

  2. #2
    Administrator Rachel_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi iamnick,

    I'm so sorry to hear how hard it's been for you. It sounds like you are going through so much right now, and that's got to be stressful for you. Coming here for support was a positive step, though.

    There's no right or wrong way to feel right now, especially when it comes to grief, which is different for everyone.

    Do you have anyone to talk to about how you're feeling? Maybe a close friend? Sometimes talking with someone can help you sort through your feelings.

    You can always call Your Life Your Voice at 1-800-448-3000. They are available to listen 24/7, and they are so helpful. You can also contact them via text, email, or chat. More information about the service can be found by clicking here.

    Are there any ways that you like to express yourself? I like to write in a journal, but maybe you like to paint, draw, or listen to music?

    We're here for you when you want to talk, and we care about you.
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
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  3. #3
    ReachOut Regular iamnick's Avatar
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    I came out to my best friend but he is straight so he can't understand me. He said so ok you are gay nothing else. I want to talk to someone that i know and love about it but i am scared of the reaction. Also my parents will get angry when the get my grades. My dad said that life is just a game but i don't want to lose on every round. I keep a journal also i enjoy listening to music but even these don't help me anymore.

    ~Nick

  4. #4
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hello iamnick,

    I'm glad to hear that you were able to be open with your friend. It sounds like you'd like to have someone that you can talk with you maybe understands a bit more. Are there any groups in your town for LGBTQIA support? I'm going to include a few fact sheets and resources below that I think you'll find some helpful information from, as well as additional resources.

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...hen-coming-out
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...ation-starters
    http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

    I'm glad to hear that you've been keeping a journal and using music. However, it sounds like they aren't quite working for you right now. How about trying something new? Just a few suggestions (not sure if you have tried them) are yoga, meditation, painting (watercolor is nice), working with clay, or taking walks.

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...ing-strategies

    Do you feel that it may help to talk with your parents about your grades before they see your report card/progress report? I can understand your worry, and the fact that they may be upset. Perhaps it could help to soften the blow of the bad grades if it came from you, and maybe you were able to talk it out about. How do you feel about that?

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...ith-bad-grades
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...-communication

    We're all here for you, and always willing to listen!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

  5. #5
    ReachOut Regular iamnick's Avatar
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    Everyone expect from me the best. I can't do my best. Because of all these reasons. Today at school everyone was crying for the dead girl (The friend of my best friend). I thought that i had to die not she.

    I have tried many of these methods but nothing worked.

  6. #6
    ReachOut Regular iamnick's Avatar
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    I don't want to be an actor in my whole life. If i can't find anyone that will help me. I will stop the plays once and for all. I wish i were the person who died.


    ~Nick

  7. #7
    Administrator Susie_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi Nick,

    I'm so sorry that you've been hurting like this. It's hard when you're already feeling low, and then there is a death near you. I can see that it has made you feel even worse. But try to remember that the death of the other person isn't about you, really. If you were gone, they wouldn't be back. You'd just be gone, and people would MISS you. People like me.

    This would be a good time in your life for you to make contact with the helpline at Your Life Your Voice. There is information about how to reach them that you can read just by clicking HERE.

    We really want you to start feeling better, friend.
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

  8. #8
    ReachOut Regular iamnick's Avatar
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    Don't be scared i am not going to hurt myself. I can't do it, i don't know why but i can't. But every day that passes i feel worse. What i've done wrong and i have to go through all of this. Because there are a lot of problems.

    1) I am scared to tell it to my parents
    2) I feel bad because i see everyone at school with girls etc.
    3) I am sad because of the dead girl
    4) I am sad because my marks is fallewn
    5) I just i can't process all these new informations like (I am gay, death, love all of these).

    Everytime i breathe i feel the weight of all this problems.

    ~Nick

  9. #9
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hello iamnick,

    It sounds like you’ve got so much on your mind, and a lot of sadness that you’re processing. It must be overwhelming. When you say “Everytime I breathe I feel the weight of all this problems.”, it really describes it in a way that I can almost feel it, and goodness, I am just so sorry.

    I included a few links for fact sheets and additional resources in my last post. Did you get a chance to check them out?

    Have you called the helpline Your Life Your Voice? We mention it quite a bit because they really are so helpful, and it sounds like you could really use someone to talk to. Maybe you have that number saved, but if not, it’s 1-800-448-3000.

    No matter what, you are not alone. There is always someone who cares and will listen. Stay strong!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

  10. #10
    ReachOut Regular iamnick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mandy_Moderator View Post
    Hello iamnick,

    It sounds like you’ve got so much on your mind, and a lot of sadness that you’re processing. It must be overwhelming. When you say “Everytime I breathe I feel the weight of all this problems.”, it really describes it in a way that I can almost feel it, and goodness, I am just so sorry.

    I included a few links for fact sheets and additional resources in my last post. Did you get a chance to check them out?

    Have you called the helpline Your Life Your Voice? We mention it quite a bit because they really are so helpful, and it sounds like you could really use someone to talk to. Maybe you have that number saved, but if not, it’s 1-800-448-3000.

    No matter what, you are not alone. There is always someone who cares and will listen. Stay strong!
    Yes i checked every resource. I probably want to visite a Psychologist but i have to find money to pay him/her and if i ask for money from my parents, i can't tell you i want the money to go to a Psychologist. They will start the questions etc. Probably LGBT+ Groups may exist but i am not sure if i have the courage to attend.

    About Your Life Your voice hotline i can't call because i live in Europe i am not sure if the number is accessible and even if it will cost me 100,000,000 Euros per call. I will try probably chatting or emailing. I don't know.

    ~Nick

  11. #11
    ReachOut Regular iamnick's Avatar
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    Something else that makes me angry is a conversation i have with my parents. They saw me sad and they asked me why i am sad i told them i am not sad. My dad asked me laughing if there is a girl that made me sad (like a girlfriend etc.). I felt terrible. How the **** i can came out to my parents if they want me to have a girl. Arghhh.

  12. #12
    ReachOut Regular iamnick's Avatar
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    had*

  13. #13
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hello iamnick,

    I am just so sorry that that things are going so tough. It must have felt pretty discouraging, and as you said, terrible, when your parents reacted that way. I can tell that it was most likely a bit frustrating as well. It’s your choice to come out to someone, and when. I hope that you found some helpful pieces of information in the fact sheets about coming out, and conversation starters. If it helps, how about writing out how you would like the conversation with your parents to go? Maybe you won’t talk to them right now, but it may be a helpful jumping off point if you find a time when you are comfortable and ready.

    I’m not certain how it is in Europe, but I know that in the states there are programs that can assist with the cost of mental health care. That may be something to look into within your community.

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...ealth-services
    http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

    Even though you aren’t in the states, you can still access YLYV’s online chat and email services, absolutely. They’re really great, and so helpful! I hope you’ll keep them in mind! Another thing that you can check out is The Trevor Project site, which offers support as well as resources for young LGBTQIA people ages 13-24.

    No matter what, you are not alone! There is always someone who will listen to what you have to say, and who cares! We are all here for you!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

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