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Thread: I lost my virginity and I don't know why I can't stop crying

  1. #1
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    Unhappy I lost my virginity and I don't know why I can't stop crying

    I'm a 17 year old female who lost her virginity to a 27 year old. He was gentle and asked if I was doing okay throughout it. Once I left his apartment and got into my car I felt like my world was caving around me (maybe not that dramatic) but still I didn't know how to handle or react after this. I drove home in a daze and felt dirty almost like I had done something wrong. I told two of my friends but wouldn't dare tell my mom because she thought I was at a coffee shop. I started to breakdown once the car was parked at my house. I didn't understand why I was crying? Is that normal or am I just emotionally weird? He I guess didn't even know it was my first time. It didn't feel super awkward (the sex) he was much more experienced than I was, which I guess is a plus. I guess what I'm asking is it normal to be emotionally confused after your first time? Like I lost my virginity to someone I don't deeply care about, I mean he's a nice guy. Before I left his apartment he kissed me goodbye and hopped into the shower because he was going out with friends. I've only met him twice and the second time I lost my virginity to him. I woke up this morning thinking I was fine but I just started crying randomly after watching his snapchat. What is going on with me, someone please help me and tell me I'm not weird and that this is perfectly normal?!?!

    P.S: I'm sorry if this is hard to read I kinda just wrote what came to my head

  2. #2
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    hi. though I'm not experienced and all. I think its normal. Because if I was in your foot. I'd freaked out. really...and become totally paranoid about it. But what do think is the reason why you're crying..

    it is because you lost your virginity?
    or afraid to get pergnant?

    I don't know. If this will help you. But hope so.

  3. #3
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    I'm not scared that i'm pregnant we used a condom....I think its realizing that I lost my virignity. I guess I was raised that it should be with someone special. I lost it with a guy i had met twice who I don't even know that well.

  4. #4
    Administrator Laura_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi Jessdance15, welcome to ReachOut!


    Losing your virginity can be an emotional experience, there's no right or wrong way to react. Just because it wasn't a long term boyfriend or anything doesn't mean it was wrong or that you are dirty.

    Do you have someone you can talk to about these feelings? It can really help you process to have someone there for you to talk things through. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your mom about it, you can always get in contact with Your Life Your Voice(1-800-448-3000)! They're available 24/7, it's totally free, and confidential too. They also have the options of texting, chatting online, and emailing. You can find out information about those services from this link here.

    Stay strong, things will get better! You're not alone in this; we're here for you if you ever want to talk.
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  5. #5
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    and also.. one thing that you should consider is that... He can be the special guy ... do you feel something about him?

  6. #6
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    He's not looking for a relationship he has work to worry about. He specifically told me he wans't looking for a girlfriend and that I should go find a high school bf that night....

  7. #7
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    He kinda rushed me out of the door because he was late meeting friends for drinks. Maybe that's part of why I reacted the way I did I don't know. This whole experience has been so weird for me.

  8. #8
    Administrator Rachel_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi Jessdance15!

    Welcome to ReachOut!

    It sounds like you're feeling a lot of emotions right now and are confused by the experience. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I'm glad that you came here to get support.

    Feeling emotional after your first time is not unusual. As Laura said, there's no right or wrong way to feel right now.

    Do you have anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling? Maybe a close friend?

    Finding ways to express your feelings might help you release some tension and help you relax. Maybe writing in a journal, drawing, or some other creative activity?

    We're all here for you when you need to talk, and we care about you!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

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  9. #9
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    I guess I am confused, that's a good way to put it. I have all of these emotions surrounding me and I don't know how to get them out. You know?

  10. #10
    Administrator Rachel_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi Jessdance15,

    Yes, I understand. I've been through similar experiences, and I know how hard it can be.

    It can be difficult to even express what you're feeling after your first time. That's totally understandable and normal. Talking through things here on the forum is a positive step, though.

    What do you think would help you feel better right now?

    Things will get easier! We care about you!
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  11. #11
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    I guess just knowing that people have been through the same things and that I'm not alone. I feel stupid for letting it happen only after seeing him twice. I also feel like he really didn't care that it was my first time and all he wanted was to get me out of the house so he could spend time with his own friends.

  12. #12
    Administrator Rachel_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi Jessdance15,

    No, you're definitely not alone.

    I'm so sorry that he wasn't a caring partner, especially for your first time. You definitely deserve someone who will care about you.

    Please be kind to yourself right now. What's something you could do to relax tonight?

    We're here for you when you need to talk. I know better days are ahead for you!
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  13. #13
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    I just keep thinking about it, it's like my brain keeps replaying a bad memory. I can't turn it off...

  14. #14
    Administrator Rachel_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi Jessdance15,

    Goodness, I know how that can be. It's hard to relax when your brain just won't let you.

    I can see how much you're struggling, and I'm so sorry. I'm here, though, and I'm listening.

    We care about you, and we're here for you.
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

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  15. #15
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    Thank you I really appreciate it, there was just no way I could talk to my parents about it. I just couldn't keep this to myself. I don't even know if I want to see him again. Is that normal not to want to be physical with your first sexual partner?

  16. #16
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    Should I even go see him again to try again as a way of getting passed this?

  17. #17
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    I think the nest thing you can do is talk to the guy about it. He should understand and try to help you through it. You maybe just be overwhelmed by the possible consequences.

  18. #18
    Administrator Rachel_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi Jessdance15,

    Yes, I think it's normal what you're feeling about your partner.

    This fact sheet might help you in making the decision about seeing him again. Do you think it would help you feel better to talk with him again?

    Let us know how things are going. We're all here for you!
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  19. #19
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    I feel like talking to him will make things worse for me. I honestly really don't know if I really want to see again. Just thinking about seeing him again makes me feel very nervous and anxious

  20. #20
    Administrator Rachel_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi Jessdance15,

    It sounds like you're beginning to sort through your feelings and make decisions about what's best for you.

    What do you think is the next step? What could help you begin to feel better?

    We're here for you! Stay strong! Better days are ahead for you.
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

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