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Thread: I have everything I need, so why do I feel so sad?

  1. #1
    ReachOut Regular
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    I have everything I need, so why do I feel so sad?

    Hi,

    I'm 22 and suffering from depression. I have a degree, have a happy family, a boyfriend that loves me, a flat in a city centre and a well paid job yet all I can do is cry when no one is around. I don't want to feel like this and have been to a doctor about how I feel yet all he gave me was a leaflet on councillors which are only available in the hours I am at work.

    I guess I signed up to this forum in the hope that I would meet some like minded people who I can actually talk to about how I feel and not feel like I'm being judged. Friends and family are helpful yet they must be getting sick of me now. I can't even admit to my parents that I'm depressed, like its something they'll disown me for.

    This feels a bit like a last straw for me and I really hope someone can help.

  2. #2
    Administrator Susie_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi Ka,

    I'm so glad you came here to ReachOut! You aren't going to be judged here. We're just regular people with regular problems and issues. We get it.

    It sounds like you've achieved so many of your goals -- from the outside, your life sounds really fabulous! But that's how depression is, creeping in like that, no matter what. It doesn't care about the other circumstances. I'm sorry that it's invading your life.

    Personally, I don't think every doctor can be prepared for every situation they encounter, and it sounds like this one wasn't really prepared for a talk about depression with you. Or, maybe he or she didn't understand how serious it's become. I might visit another doctor, and really let them know that this has become a big problem for you, and make sure they take it seriously. You could also call the list of counselors that the other doctor gave you, and straight out ask them for an idea about someone who does evening appointments. Surely there's someone who does. Lots of people (most??) have jobs during the day, and need a different appointment time. You might just have to be a little more assertive to find someone. I hope you do!

    You deserve help, and you deserve to be feeling better, and enjoying your fabulous life!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

  3. #3
    Idol Lyn_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hey there Ka! Welcome to the forums! I'm really glad you found us here. There are some great people here who want to help support you through the rough times and help celebrate the good times with you! I'm so sorry that you are dealing with depression, it can be so devastating to go through. I think you're really awesome for reaching out to a doctor and now here on the forums for help, it says a lot about you.

    I found some fact sheets that might help you with some ideas for how to deal with what you're going through.

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...feel-like-shit
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...s-and-symptoms
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...hinking-errors
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...ing-strategies
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...tive-self-talk
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...meone-can-help

    I know that's a lot of info to throw at you, but don't feel like you have to read it all at once. Just take some time and go through them when you can. Please keep us updated!

  4. #4
    ReachOut Regular
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    Hi Ka, hope your having okay! Im 20 and also suffer with depression and have been struggling with it on a daily basis for a couple of years now. I also have everything, not so much on your family level but everything i need. Loving family, food, clothes, friends and i am currently a year and a half in to my degree.

    I know how you feel when you say it starts when your alone, i feel the same way. Purely empty, many times i dont really know what to do besides lay down and stare at the ceiling. I feel alone, upset, anxious and unwanted. I have only recently just started counseling around a month ago and I can already tell that he doesnt understand the way I feel. The leaflets make it worse i know what you mean!

    I havnt told any of my family yet as I dont live at home and am in fact from Enlgand and it isnt really the topic to discuss on my weekly updates on facetime as i feel my parents would be the same way as yours.

    I dont really know what to do about it myself and just sort of try to get by day to day not caring too much about what other people are doing is besides myself and close friends and family. I try to avoid negativity as much as possible, stay around people that make you happy and you fully enjoy their company. Besides from being in work when colleagues cannot be helped stay with people who you believe honestly care about you and for you. The conversations are better and when i do this i tend to feel slightly better. As i said i dont really know anything major but these are just small things i like to do.

    Also dont keep things bottled up, this destroyed me for years and ultimately resulted in the way i am today. I went from being popular with lots of friends, girlfriends, good at sports typical teenage boy to loner within the space of a couple pf years. I lost everything because i wouldnt talk about my emotions and things that had happened to me in my childhood, i still find it extremely difficult and still keep things bottled up as i have never really spoke to anyone about the past.

    Smaller things I do is plan things not to far ahead to look forward to. Small things such as eating out, getting ice cream or working out. Anything that will give you a sense of enjoyment.

    I know i have probably havnt been much help but the biggest help i can give is to say that i honestly know how you feel.

    Stay Strong Ka theres always lights at the end of the tunnel!

  5. #5
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hello Jonathan, and welcome to ReachOut! We’re really glad that you’ve joined us here!

    I think it’s wonderful that you’re here to share your story, as well as offer support and kind words to those who are struggling as well. You’re so strong!

    I can see that you started counseling recently, and are feeling like he doesn’t understand. That must be frustrating. Do you feel that you can give your counselor some feedback about how you feel the sessions are going? It may be helpful for him to hear what is or isn’t helping. Sometimes, just as with friends or other relationships in life, a particular counselor is not a right fit, and you may need to see a few before finding one that just clicks.

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...rent-counselor

    It sounds like you’ve been doing some pretty helpful things like avoiding negativity as much as possible, surrounding yourself with lovely people, and finding small ways that really help. No matter the size of the step or victory, they all matter, and are all incredible examples of your strength and progress!

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...ing-strategies
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...meone-can-help

    We’re all here for you! Stay strong!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

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