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Thread: rough breakup

  1. #1
    ReachOut Regular
    Join Date
    Nov 2015

    rough breakup

    I'm 21 years old and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me around three weeks ago. It was all my fault due to my binge drinking behavior which has been a constant problem in our relationship. We have broken up several times but she is serious about this and wants to work on herself and says she has to do this at this point in her life. I have dropped off flowers, brought her multiple gifts and have tried everything to get another chance. She refuses to meet up with me and will only respond to my texts a couple times a day.

    I have become very depressed these past three weeks and want nothing but to lay in bed and sleep. It seems to be the only escape from this reality. I am madly in love with this girl and can't come to terms with the reality that it's over. She has been going out to parties and bars with her friends and it drives my depression deeper and deeper. I tried getting out of my house and going to the bar to get my mind off her but it seemed to only worsen my depression the next day. I'm constantly filled with extrememly negative thoughts and am loosing energy. I called out of work this week and missed school all last week. I can't get my mind off of her and it literally feels like my life is over at this point. I know it sounds dramatic but I have never felt so terrible in my entire life and it seems to only get worse and worse as time gets by. I am scheduling a therapist appointment this week and hopefully i can get some light out of that.

    She has told me that this isn't about her moving on and finding a new guy, but that she has to do this for herself because i have fuc ked up so many times. But i can't help but to loose it when I hear about her out partying and having the time of her life. I can't stop breaking down every night and don't want to be around my friends or anyone. I truly do want to spend the rest of my life with this girl but there doesnt seem to be anything I can do to get her back. I'm just worried because it is really starting to affect my every day life and i have no motivation for literally anything but feeling bad for myself and laying in bed. I have grew extrememly dependent on this girl and it is literally light and day with my happiness whether were together or not. I miss everything about her and it feels like my life is over and hopeless now.

    She has told me she still loves me but has to do this. It drives me absolutely crazy because every day i want to see her but she wont allow it to happen. It feels like im living in hell right now and anything would be better then feeling like this. I love this girl to death.

  2. #2
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Hello jmar, and welcome to ReachOut!

    It sounds like you've been going through such a tough time lately, and I am truly so sorry for that. Break ups can be really difficult to work through, but I can tell you that I believe you're going to get through this. Do you feel this may be a good time to step back and focus on yourself and what can make your life happy and better?

    Just know that there are people who are about you, and people that you can talk to. You are not alone!

    It can be really helpful to distract yourself with things like reading, writing (a lot of people find journaling so helpful), watching movies or tv shows that you like but won't remind you of her, or finding a completely new hobby like learning an instrument, new language, or something artistic. Have you ever tried meditation?

    Another thing that can help is talking with someone that you trust. Do you have family member or trusted friend that come to mind? I can see that you have scheduled an appointment with a therapist and I think that's such a brave step. I am really impressed that you're taking that step and getting the help that you want.

    The helpline Your Life Your Voice is a great place to call and another option when you need to talk. The number to call is 1-800-448-3000, which is free, confidential, and available 24/7. You can call them any time! You can find out more about this and the other ways to contact them via THIS link to their page.

    We're all here for you, and we truly care! Stay strong!
    Last edited by Mandy_Moderator; 11-22-2015 at 07:02 PM.
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