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Thread: Difficulties socialising?

  1. #1
    Newbie xXMercedesXx's Avatar
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    Difficulties socialising?

    At the moment I feel like I don't really have any friends. I only have three at school that I consider my friends but I don't feel as if we are friends. I usually either sit alone somewhere quiet where there aren't a lot of people or go to the library to read. I find it difficult to talk to people that I usually don't talk to and I find it awkward to do so. I'm uncomfortable around some of my family members and usually avoid confrontation when they come over and stay up in my room only going down when my parents force me to or if I really need to. I don't like talking to strangers even if it were to order something from a restaurant or fast food place, I just don't like speaking in general and usually am very quiet and shy.

  2. #2
    ReachOut Regular
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    Hey
    I feel the same
    I just moved to a new place, started college a year early at 17, and I moved here without my family. I left behind my family and friends in another country, g.f broke up with me and treated me pretty bad after which broke my heart. Its been really overwhemling, adjusting to college, to a new place, without friends or family (I live with my older brother) and dealing with a broken heart all at once is just overwhelming and it all hurts. Its been a few months and it still gets harder. I dont have friends yet, im the youngest person I know at my college and everybody seems older, I cant find anyone my age and feel awkward approaching anyone.
    But trust me, it gets better. You have to be brave and take baby steps. Something small as saying Hi to someone who sits next to you in class or asking them about the homework is a good way to start, they might even talk to you and start a conversation and that really makes your day
    I know its hard to feel awkward and lonely like you cant seem to make friends or never know how to approach people or what to say, but you have to be brave not sink in loneliness each day, doing something small even just holding the door open for anyone and smiling at them will make your day trust me
    So hang in there and be brave
    Soon you'll make friends you just have to try I hope you feel well and find some motivation soon

  3. #3
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xXMercedesXx View Post
    At the moment I feel like I don't really have any friends. I only have three at school that I consider my friends but I don't feel as if we are friends. I usually either sit alone somewhere quiet where there aren't a lot of people or go to the library to read. I find it difficult to talk to people that I usually don't talk to and I find it awkward to do so. I'm uncomfortable around some of my family members and usually avoid confrontation when they come over and stay up in my room only going down when my parents force me to or if I really need to. I don't like talking to strangers even if it were to order something from a restaurant or fast food place, I just don't like speaking in general and usually am very quiet and shy.
    Hello Mercedes,

    It sounds like you may be feeling like you don’t fully connect with your friends that you have. Have you known them for a while, or are these fairly new friendships? Do you spend time with them outside of school as well?

    Reading that you sometimes go to the library to read reminded me of myself. During my senior year of high school, all of my friends had graduated the prior year, or moved away, so I would often find great comfort in my little spot in the library. It can be nice, but there was always a part of me that wanted to meet more people, but I was so shy. I had people I would talk with in class, and I did have friends I’d hang out with after school, but I guess the point of my story is that I can totally understand a bit of what you’re going through.

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/shyness - This fact sheet has a few really great tips and information that I thought you might find interesting and helpful!

    Do you feel that there are some people you have an easier time socializing with? Maybe you even find it less stressful when talking about something you’re really interested in or have a bit of knowledge about. It sounds like avoiding the social situations holds a level of comfort for you, but in the same time, you are wanting to have that connection and interaction. That must be pretty tough at times, having those conflicting feelings. Do you have someone that you can talk with? Someone that you feel comfortable opening up with, and trust, like maybe a close family member, or a teacher at your school? It may be helpful to take some small steps like just a random hello and smile to someone, and go from there.

    We’re all here for you, and always willing to listen!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

  4. #4
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by algz98 View Post
    Hey
    I feel the same
    I just moved to a new place, started college a year early at 17, and I moved here without my family. I left behind my family and friends in another country, g.f broke up with me and treated me pretty bad after which broke my heart. Its been really overwhelming, adjusting to college, to a new place, without friends or family (I live with my older brother) and dealing with a broken heart all at once is just overwhelming and it all hurts. Its been a few months and it still gets harder. I dont have friends yet, im the youngest person I know at my college and everybody seems older, I cant find anyone my age and feel awkward approaching anyone.
    But trust me, it gets better. You have to be brave and take baby steps. Something small as saying Hi to someone who sits next to you in class or asking them about the homework is a good way to start, they might even talk to you and start a conversation and that really makes your day
    I know its hard to feel awkward and lonely like you cant seem to make friends or never know how to approach people or what to say, but you have to be brave not sink in loneliness each day, doing something small even just holding the door open for anyone and smiling at them will make your day trust me
    So hang in there and be brave
    Soon you'll make friends you just have to try I hope you feel well and find some motivation soon
    Hello algz! We’re so glad that you’ve joined us! Welcome!

    It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed with the move, the changes, missing some special people, and feeling heart broken as well. Quite a lot of things going on all at once for one person. Through all of that, it sounds like you’ve got a pretty positive outlook still, and just as you said, it gets better. I think it’s really great that you are using your experiences to share and offer up support and kind words here. I want you to know that you can talk to us here, and we’ll be here to offer the support right back!

    Is your brother someone that you feel you can talk with? It’s helpful to have someone in your life that you can be open with. Other things that can be helpful are journaling, expressing yourself through things like art or music, taking walks, and practicing things like yoga or meditation.

    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...ing-loneliness
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/mindfulness
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...meone-can-help
    http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...attend-college

    We’re all here for you! Stay strong!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

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