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Thread: Leave it.

  1. #1
    Celebrity Dutch's Avatar
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    Apr 2015
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    Leave it.

    I don't know what I'm doing just have no porpoise. My mother wants to leave with some dick and sell the house. Fuck the house it has too many dad memories but it's all I know. It's four walls and a roof but it's ours. All the shit it took to get it, the nights I have no dad cause of money or the fucking cops. The nights I wonder if my mother would come home drunk or not even come. All the yelling and hitting and bullshit that happened here, just left like nothing. Like that gone. She'll give the money to her boyfriend and the bottle. She'll always turn to the bottle, the clubs, the friends and forget about her family. That's why I given up on her. I'll never love her cause she'll never want it. She acts like she cares but she'll always throw it away. My sister told me she still has hope in her but if she doesn't give her some money she promised to give her and give it to that dick she's done with her. I thought she was the smart one, she still thinks she'll change. I don't want to live with her, my mother but my sister doesn't have money to support herself let alone me. I can't be her burden I love her to much. But if I leave her behind I'll have nothing. I hate my life more.

    The thoughts are back. I need a reason to keep getting up every fuckin day. I need a to stop thinking, I need a break from everything. I think I just might start cutting again. I know it makes it better for a little bit but I don't know.

  2. #2
    Administrator Susie_Moderator's Avatar
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    Apr 2012
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    Hey Dutch, long time no see.

    I'm really sorry that things have taken a downward turn in your life. It sounds like your mom isn't making great decisions at the moment, and that it's really affecting you and your sister. Is there anyone else that could talk to her about it, someone she might listen to?

    I hope that you'll be able to remember the bad feelings that follow the cutting episodes, and hold on a little while longer. You can do this, Dutch. Why don't you give the helpline a call at 1-800-448-3000, and just talk things over with them? Calling when you're feeling the urges can be really helpful.

    It was really smart for you to come here to talk. I'm glad you remembered that we want to help, and want to support you.
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

  3. #3
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    Aug 2015
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    I'm sorry to hear all of that, but you seem like a brave warrior to me. After all of this you've dealt with you continue to live on and try to take care of yourself and your sister that you love. I know deep down all of our parents love us no matter what they do or have done, but sometimes, parents don't have a brain which is very bad for them. Now perhaps you could seek help for you and your sister if things are really bad off, and you could lean on each other in these times. Remember you're young but the last thing you are is powerless. Coming here was a great idea because it's like one big caring loving family. I wish you and your sister the best of luck, and stay strong, things wont be bad forever I know it! Keep your head up high and shoot for the stars. Have a wonderful day.

  4. #4
    Celebrity Dutch's Avatar
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    Apr 2015
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    I cant go to my sister shell think i"m weak and avoid me. I am weak always have, I just learned how to hide it, how to shrug the taunts and bullshit like noting. but thanks i'm grateful theirs people willing to hear me speak my mind.

  5. #5
    Administrator Laura_Moderator's Avatar
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    May 2012
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    I'm so sorry you have to go through that, Dutch. You are not weak! You've been through so much, and you still don't give up. That takes a lot of strength.

    You're always free to speak your mind and express your feelings honestly here! This is a safe space for everyone.
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

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