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Thread: Telling my friends?

  1. #1
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    Telling my friends?

    Hi,so I'm a female,14 years old and I'm considering homosexuality. I know I'm very young,I'm still a child. I don't plan on coming out until I'm at least around 15-16,so I'm absolutely sure what I'm going to label myself as. So please don't give me advice like "You should tell them" because I'm not even sure of my own sexuality and I don't think it's time for me to come out yet. Maybe I'm actually just going through a phase right now,I don't know.

    So well,the problem is that many of my female friends are starting to talk to me about boys. Who I find attractive,why I haven't had a boyfriend yet,you know. What should I respond when they ask me those questions? I don't want to lie and say I find some boys hot,because I don't. It's a really tricky situation haha..

    Thanks for reading,and if you have any experience of these things,please leave a comment!

    Love,Nora

  2. #2
    ReachOut Peer Supporter Lightoflife9878's Avatar
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    Hey there Nora!

    Thanks for opening up to us on here. You are totally right..coming out is a choice that is completely up to you and nobody else has the right to tell you if and when it is time for you to come out. Sexuality is a complex thing that takes lots of people many years to explore and figure out, so please know that you are not alone in this.

    Before I had come out to my close friends, I remember many people asking me if i had crushes on the opposite sex, or if I thought so-and-so was cute...and I know that this can make things pretty uncomfortable. It may be helpful to tell your friends that you are a little bit private about these subjects or that you are not really sure about them. You could also consider being honest and telling them that you find someone of the same sex attractive. This can be done without labeling yourself too.

    Here is a link that I think can be really helpful as it is probably most important to start by being open and honest with yourself and giving you time to explore and experiment. http://us.reachout.com/facts/factshe...or-transgender

    Eventually, something may just click for you and one day things may feel different. For me, I remember a day when I switched my "Interested in" on facebook from"women" to blank...it might sound silly but it was a really defining moment for me as I realized that what I had before didnt represent who i was.

    I wish you the best in this journey and remember to love yourself! <3

    -Lightoflife9878

  3. #3
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    Hi Nora, I am 14 also and I came out last year. My advice to you is first to decide if you actually are a homosexual. I came out as bi because I wasn't sure if I would lean one way or another. Definitely wait until your ready. This is your decision and you should decide how and when you do it, and if you do it to everyone one at once or just a small group of friends first. If you find the boys your friends talk about hit, simply say yes, they are cute. If you don't think so, just say I don't really think their that cute or just shrug your shoulders or something like that. I told my friends face to face, but I told my parents in a letter. This was very helpful for me because I could say exactly what I wanted and must-have to have the inevitable follow up conversation right away. If you ever need anyone to talk to, my kik username is llamaqueen22. Stay strong.
    Katherine

  4. #4
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    Hi Lightoflife!

    Thank you for your support and your advice! You're right,I just have to be honest with my friends and myself,and maybe one day,I know who I really am. Have a nice day,and thanks once again!

    Nora

  5. #5
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    Hi guineapig!

    Thank you so much for your response,it's nice to talk to someone in a similar situation. The idea with a letter sounds great,I'll consider that! ^^ I'll definitely go chat with you later if I think that I need advice,thanks for the offer! See you around!

    Nora

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