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Thread: 2 issues, need advice.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2015

    2 issues, need advice.

    Now I put these here because, well I've spoken about them before, and since there's 2, well, why not.

    Firstly, many things have happened to me in the past, hurt me badly, made me act in ways I always hated to even imagine. Anywho,

    As a kid, I always seemed to want to have everything perfect, kind of OCD, never diagnosed or mentioned it to anyone, because it wasn't really such a big deal. Now with all these problems, as I've dealt with this type of thinking before, it's came back. However, I've never heard much of something like I have, maybe, it's hard to explain so I'll give an example. Say I wasn't sure of something or something extremely minor went wrong, say I put ketchup instead of mustard on a hot dog, and everything falls apart, not always, sometimes I just let it go somehow, but other times I wont stop thinking about it, even after I ate the hot dog, I'll never be satisfied of what happened or what I wanted to put, always thinking something else, extremely overthinking and instead of just going on with my life, it's literally like a nail screwed into my head, tough to get out. In short, things in life can I guess somehow trigger my mind to go on this spree of who knows what or why, and it's extremely distracting, and I can't escape it, because it's my own mind!

    Secondly, I've also talked about this, diet, exercise, health, all that good stuff. Long story short my metabolism lowered because I unintentionally lost weight too fast, did it unhealthily like, although this was back in April. I didn't see it as a rest though, more so as I've ruined my life and dreams and goals for messing up, and hurt myself even more mentally/emotionally that it got to a point that I "gave up" and since then back in April every time I try to go back on a diet and what not, falls apart no more than a week after. I've lost all my motivation to want to be a runner, lose weight and become healthier, it's still on my mind, reminding me everyday of what I should be doing. However, I know I need to raise my metabolism. Obviously I've gained some weight since April due to my metabolism, and I've done things to help. Even the exercise I did on the failed attempt diets and what not have helped.

    Now that that's out of the way, I need advice on what is the best option for me.

    A. Take it easy, build metabolism, try to get motivated again, and then go for weight loss and the likes.
    B. Go for my dreams right away, regardless of my metabolism, build it on the way, along with my motivation all at once.

    I'm torn, I also feel bad because I haven't been on a legit track to following my dreams since April, and it hurts me just to know that, to live every day, although you know you're okay, every day to feel like a failure, on top of all the tragic events that happened before, during, and still now that caused all of this nonsense to happen in the first place. I just felt so different back when everything was working out ok for me, motivated, knew what I wanted, chased my dreams, worked hard, loved life, fought for what's right. Now I'm just like... trying to keep that part of me, and it's just to hard, although I never give up, I'm always hurting myself one way or another, maybe not physically, but with my mind being a constant bug at me, for every little thing, and latches on like a bulldog's teeth, to a reminder that I'm a failure, feeling like a failure, feeling like I've messed up my entire life, my dreams, and just overall all of this negativity and let downs, I used to ignore it and feel like I could handle everything that came in my way, who knew life could be this way. I just need some suggestions on what's a good way to handle this. Basically how I feel with all this going on, it's so bad it's almost unexplainable.

    Thank you for your time, and have a wonderful day!

  2. #2
    Moderator Mandy_Moderator's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Hello SuperSpeed,

    It sounds like you’ve got a couple of things on your mind lately. I’m really so sorry to hear that you have been hurt in the past. Is there someone in your life that you have been able to open up to, or maybe someone that you might consider talking to now? A family member, trusted friend or other trusted adult?

    Calling the helpline Your Life Your Voice at 1-800-448-3000 is another thing you can always do, because they are available 24 hours a day/7 days a week. It’s free to call, confidential, and secure as well. Everybody needs someone to talk at times, and they are really so great! I hope you’ll save that number and keep it someplace handy if you don’t call right away. You can find out more information about this and other ways to contact them by visiting their page via THIS link.

    With this overthinking that you talk about, is this something that you feel is a growing concern at this point? If you feel that there is something you’d like to look into as far as a diagnosis goes, you may want to talk with a professional. Finding ways to manage, and cope can be really helpful. You may want to try writing on a regular basis if you find that you are unable to challenge those negative thoughts. Sometimes, just getting it out is helpful. How about using some time each day to relax and find a nice calm, peaceful place of mind? You may like to listen to some music, work on a puzzle, practice yoga, go for a nice walk (I like to take my camera and really capture the beauty around me), take a nice soothing bath, or try something like meditation.

    Motivation can be really difficult to muster up when you are really struggling to hang on to the dreams you worked so hard towards. Ask yourself this: “Do I still want these dreams? Am I willing to work to meet these goals?” If the answer is yes, I think you already have a good idea of what to do. Follow those dreams. Do you feel it may help to write out how you could realistically meet these goals? You may be looking at it from a big picture stance right now, and that can be overwhelming. How about looking at it as a group of smaller goals?

    I’ve seen you giving such lovely support to people all around the forums, and in your words I can see what a strong, caring, and wonderful person you truly are. Nowhere in anything that you have ever said do I see a sign that you are a failure. You’ve hit a snag in your goals right now, but haven’t messed up your entire life. Regroup, refocus, and remember that you are awesome! We’re all here for you!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Thank you soo much for your help, I really appreciate you helping me, and others as well. I feel great getting support from here as well as giving support. Hope to see you around, have a wonderful day!

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