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Thread: looking for answers

  1. #1
    ReachOut Regular
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    looking for answers

    I don't know why i came here i guess cause i want help but don't know how i can be helped you see i have the urge to end my life and i feel the only way i can solve this problem is by satisfying my urge but i don't want to die so i plan to make myself really sick in hopes to stop the urge but the reason the urge was there in the first place is because im disabled and i don't see a good future living with this disorder.especially after my parents cant take care of me.sure i could live with family and friends but i want to be normal and I feel like I never will be .i don't want to die im afraid of making myself sick enough that ill die.my mom thinks im trying this in January she doesn't know it's sooner than that. My best friend knows but she won't stop me.i think i have an addiction to hurting myself but i dont want to go to a mental hospital and i know my therapist would send me there help

  2. #2
    Administrator Susie_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi passionfruit,

    It sounds like you've done some thinking about this. I'm glad you came here to ReachOut to talk things over with us. Do you have anyone else that you can talk to? Do you have a therapist or counselor that you've talked to about all of this? It's a pretty big decision. Making yourself sick like this could have a lot of consequences that you might not have considered, like complicating your current disability, causing pain for your family who has to watch you be sick, causing stress for your family as they accommodate your new illness, the money associated with illness, and possibly dying as a result of it, just to think of a few.

    Is there some kind of a support group for people with your disability/disorder? Maybe talking to others in a similar situation would help you deal better with thoughts of the future. Many people live long, fantastic lives, even while disabled. Me, for instance. It's not easy, and it doesn't look like a life that you might imagine, but it's still a great life. You can have that, too.

    One way you can talk to someone easily is to make a call to the helpline at Your Life Your Voice. They'd love to talk to you about all of this. By phone, they can be reached any time, 24/7. The number is 1-800-448-3000. They also have a texting service, available from 6-midnight (Central Time) every night. To start that conversation, just send VOICE to 20121. Or, they have online chat, or email, as well. You can read about all those methods by clicking here.

    You can also come here any time, and just talk things over. We want to be part of your support group. We're on your side, and on the side of you having a long, happy life.
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

  3. #3
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    Thanks for responding i have something called conversion disorder its a rare mental disorder that converts mental stress into physical symptoms so i lose the ability to walk move speak move lift arms and lift neck since it's so rare no one really to talk to or support groups. i live in a hectic household days ago my mother and sister got into a physical fight i sometimes hear voices but rarely still i believe what they use to say that im the cause of bad things happening in my family my cd has been really bad and i feel doctors will try and just lock me up so ive been looking for help online though I may have to face my demons and help myself. My case manager thinks im going to try this in five months if she knew the truth i wouldn't be talking online right now.im afraid of the psych ward and the er because i find it hard to control myself so i get medication and its not fun how they give it to you.i know there's a possibility of something going wrong in this whole thing and ill get help if it does though i hate to i live very close to an er nothing is going to happen. I do want another option but i feel it's to late

  4. #4
    Administrator Laura_Moderator's Avatar
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    Hi passionfruit3!

    I am so, so sorry that you are going through this. It can be incredibly scary to open up and talk about these things to someone in person, but it can also really help!

    Psych wards and mental hospitals often get a bad rap, but lots of our users here have had good experiences in them. This fact sheet has a lot of great information about them, I hope you'll check it out when you get a chance! Did you have a chance to get in touch with the people over at YLYV that Susie recommended earlier in this thread? Maybe talking to them could be a good starting point between getting help online and getting help in person.

    No matter what happens or what is going on, remember that you are not alone in any of this! We are here for you, and we really do care about you.

    Stay strong! It may seem dark now, but it's always darkest before the dawn, and there are brighter days ahead.
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

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