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Thread: Am I Pansexual? (+ anxiety over relationships?)

  1. #1
    ReachOut Regular
    Join Date
    Oct 2015

    Question Am I Pansexual? (+ anxiety over relationships?)

    Lately I have been considering that I'm pansexual, and pretty sure I am, but then again I'm not 100% certain?

    Gender doesn't really matter to me, If I start to like someone, I would be perfectly comfortable dating them regardless of what gender they identified as. That I know is Pansexuality.

    But what confuses me is my lack of wanting to be in a relationship. Usually Pansexuals are ready to date anyone? It's not that I wouldn't like anyone though. I've had one boyfriend but ended up breaking up with him because the relationship gave me anxiety.. I felt I was too young to date (this was in 6th-7th grade. I'm in 8th now and i still think I'm too young). I don't even understand why everyone feels they need to date. I can't stand people who will date someone one minute but break up and date another person in the next for the sake of all these "petty crushes". Why does everyone at my school thinks it more important than everything else? I stopped dating after one relationship because I wasn't comfortable with the whole idea. I do feel like cuddling someone or something sometimes.. maybe it's just my whole "too young for this" thing I have going on. Plus my ant-socialness doesn't help much. But I do know if I end up liking someone, I would definitely date them. .. once I feel old enough and won't be stressed out by it.

    All of this confuses me.. sometimes I wanna



  2. #2
    Idol Lyn_Moderator's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Hey there potato! Welcome to the forums, I'm really glad you're here! I can't say for certain whether you are pansexual, really you're the one that figures that out about yourself. It certainly sounds like you're making good choices for yourself though. You are the person who knows the most about you, so if you feel like you're not ready for a relationship, then you're right. Some people get caught up in things like that, but as long as you are staying true to what you feel in your heart, then you're doing the right thing. I found some fact sheets that might help you figure out some things, I hope they do!

    Good luck and I hope to see you around the forums more often!

  3. #3
    ReachOut Peer Supporter glitterbear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Hey irlpotato,

    Welcome to ReachOut!

    It sounds like you have a good understanding of what pansexuality is and feel like it probably fits you. It's okay if you're not 100% certain you're pansexual. You can always identify differently later.

    One thing I want to clarify is that pansexuals aren't necessarily "ready to date anyone." Just like with anyone else--gay, straight, bisexual, whatever--pansexuals don't always feel like dating or being in a relationship. Even if you feel like you could date someone of any gender, that doesn't mean you have to date anyone at all.

    It seems like you know yourself and what you want. It's okay to not want to date anyone right now. I see how it's frustrating to see your peers emphasizing dating and romantic relationships when you don't want that for yourself right now.

    I hope to see you around the forums.

    Take care,

  4. #4
    Newbie lostamongstarlight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Hello, Irl! I know that being pan can be sort of confusing sometimes, especially because it's one of the identities that seem to not be discussed as much. Essentially it does seem like you could be pansexual, but its important to know that you can be pansexual without being pa romantic, or without being attracted to all gender identities/nongender conforming people in a dating sense. I dont know if its what you specifically need, but I suggest looking into different romantic attractions, including aeromantic. (if I spelled that right?) I have a friend who identifies as aero-pan, and there are loads of different combinations.
    But just because you don't currently have an interest in dating, that doesn't have to mean your romantically different. As you said, you're young. You don't need to feel any pressure to date, and theres absolutely nothing wrong with not being interested in dating.

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