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Thread: I hide it from everyone

  1. #1
    ReachOut Regular
    Join Date
    Oct 2015

    Unhappy I hide it from everyone

    Hi my name is i feel alone and i am always depressed and lost. no one knows im still fighting this war inside and I have cut and attempted suicide many times and i want to die. I have been raped by three guys in my lifetime two of them i was very close with the other one was my brother's best friend. I feel like a toy that is only made to please other guys and I am bisexual. I tried opening up to someone but that backfired on me and my parents found out lastyear about the cutting and suicide so th ey tried to put me through therapy and getting me a psychrist. I act like everything is fine now because i always felt hovered over and my parents think I stopped but i havent and my now ex best friend talks to my old rapist and when i tried to tell her that im concernered she said that she doesnt care and will talk to whoever she wants and believes him more than me when i was the first person to welcome her to the school when she moved here 4 years and the rape happened this summer and this conversation happened last week and everyone i ever trusts ends up backstabs me and i want to die but the only reason i stick around is because of my family they would be brokenhearted and i dont know how to get through anything anymore

  2. #2
    Administrator Susie_Moderator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Hi Candy,

    It sounds like you've been going through a LOT... I'm so glad you came here to ReachOut to talk things over. This is a great place for support and encouragement, and I hope you can find that here.

    It sounds like you've tried to talk to someone about some of this, and it went poorly. That sucks! Do you think there's someone else you could talk to? Sometimes you have to think outside your usual comfort zone to find the right person. Consider people like an older family member, someone from a faith organization (it doesn't have to be YOUR church, for instance, just something you've heard about, maybe?), a school counselor, or some other trusted adult that you know. Talking it over can really help you find a new perspective.

    Another thing you could do (and this one is easy!) is to call the helpline at Your Life Your Voice. By phone, the number is 1-800-448-3000, and they're available that way literally any time, 24/7. You can also start a conversation by texting them between 6 pm and midnight (Central Time) any day, by sending VOICE to 20121. Or, they have online chat or email, as well. Click here to read all about it. They are super helpful, and it's all free and confidential. I hope you'll contact them. At least put the number into your phone, so you have it there when you're ready.

    You didn't deserve the things that happened to you, Candy. I hope you can start to believe that, and find your own self-worth again. You are important and valuable. We care about you!
    Note: The ReachOut Forums will be suspended after December 31, 2015. All existing threads and posts will still be available to read and review, but no new posts will appear. We hope to gain new funding, and be back soon, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can keep talking and get support:

    -- Your Life Your Voice
    -- Ok2Talk
    -- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    -- Trevor Project Trevorspace for LGBTQIA youth
    -- ReachOut Australia forums

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