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About Being Positive
Fact Sheet
Body image: love the skin you’re in
Photo by: jaimelondonboy
What is it?
Body image is your own attitude towards your body - how you see yourself, how you think and feel about the way you look and how you think others perceive you. Your body image can be influenced by your own beliefs and attitudes as well as those of society, media and your peers.
An unhealthy body image is the belief that your body is bigger or smaller than it is in reality and that you aren’t perfect on the outside. You think that how you look on the outside is the whole picture of who you are. Remember you are more than just your body!
A healthy body image is being comfortable in your own skin and being happy with the way you look.
How do people get an unhealthy body image?
It is likely that you come across images of people on a daily basis, especially in the media. These images probably include a large number of super-slim or buff male and female models in magazines, super-skinny celebrities on TV, and even slender mannequins in stores. It is quite possible that being bombarded with all these images might make you feel bad about yourself and the way your body looks, especially if you don’t look like them. You may feel that it is important to become like these images. As a result, a lot of men and women try to control—sometimes in unhealthy ways—their weight to look a certain way.
In actuality, the ideal body shape has changed, and this ideal often has more to do with what your body shape says to other people than what it actually looks like. For example, during the potato famine in Ireland, it was very stylish to be plump; as it showed that you and your family were wealthy and could afford food. Today, it is stylish to be slim and well-toned because it shows that you have the money for a gym membership or a personal trainer. Same reason but entirely different shape!
Unhealthy body image can damage your self-esteem
An unhealthy body image can damage your self-esteem. Once you feel bad about the way you look, you may be inclined to think that you, as a person, are not as worthy. No matter what you look like, you are special. A person with a healthy body image will, most likely, feel more comfortable ‘in their skin.’ If you are comfortable, you will be a happier and more confident you and this may lead to others reacting more positively towards you.
If you are feeling inadequate about your body or yourself in general, it may be worth talking to someone about it. This may be a family member, friend, teacher or counselor. Check out the Get Help section for more information about how these people might be able to help. If you feel that you might be trying to control your weight in unhealthy ways, please check out our fact sheets on binge eating and bulimia nervosa.
How to get a more positive body image
Instead of passively receiving unrealistic images, why don’t you:
- Question messages in the media. Every time you see a magazine article telling you to become thinner or wear a particular type of clothing or buy a certain kind of product, ask yourself why the article is doing so. Is it to sell more copies or to encourage you to purchase a particular item? What will happen to you if you don’t listen to the article? What would you think if you hadn’t read the article at all? Are the images you see in the media showing strong, respectable, smart people or are they showing somebody solely focused on how pretty or handsome they look?
- Stand up for your rights. You don’t have to listen to what other people say about how you look. You have the right to be happy with who you are, as you are. Don’t let anybody take that away from you.
- Find your own style. Wear what you want to wear and don’t just follow what is in fashion. Fashion comes and goes but a personal style will outlast the trends!
- Describe yourself. You don’t need to use a single word about your physique to say good things about yourself. Think about the wonderful parts of your personality. People will come to see you as you see yourself and will describe you as you describe yourself. This goes for how you talk about your friends too!
Information in this fact sheet was also provided by:
SAMHSA Family Guide, Body Image
South Carolina Department of Mental Health, Teen Matters
Last reviewed: Feb 27, 2013
Comments
Responses
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Hunter EvansI have the smallest bit of self confidance…im extremely self conscious…but im a singer and drummer in a garrage band…whata combo…..
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Asia Hunter Igouthats really good that your doing something that you really like and envolves alot of self confidence! I feel like well i don’t know what i feel because im not very confident either.. but really eating healthy for me and just doing that in itself makes you feel lighter and just better in general and i dont mean just fruits and veggies my household is pretty organic. and if you dont like to run i really like long walks they make me feel better too i hope you feel better soon about your body image you just have to try your hardest to pull out your best features and focus on them then everything else wont seem as bad, i hope i could help
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Jonathanmy girlfriend is absolutely gorgeous, she’s not fat and she’s beautiful; however she constantly insists she’s fat and her mom and aunt tell her she is. but here’s the thing, her mom weighs probably twice as much as her and her aunt isn’t far off of it, idk what to do cause she wont listen to me and I’m afraid she’s gonna develop an eating disorder…
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ReachOut Staffsupporting your girlfriend by letting her know you think she’s just right, just the way she is, IS a helpful thing to do. You might also want to let her know you are worried about her. If she continues to worry you, is there someone else who can help you speak to her? Maybe another adult whom the both of you trust?
We are thinking of you.
the ReachOut Crew
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CheyannePeople say I’m not fat, but others say i need to lose alot of weight. I fit into an average size and sometimes even a smaller size but.. I still feel self conscious of who I am. I’ve almost developed a bad eating disorder of starving myself and it gets worse.. I don’t know what to do anymore.. Please Help..
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ReachOut StaffHi there -
We can see how this could be confusing with people giving you mixed messages, yet you seem to feel that you are the right size! Probably one of the most important things is to eat healthy foods with proper amounts of exercise. Our ReachOut.com fact sheet on “Eating Well and Feeling Healthy” (http://us.reachout.com/facts/f might… provide some good tips. And, if you are still concerned your family doctor can provide some good advice on the proper weight for your height and age.
The ReachOut Crew
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lizzybabyx33i have low self-esteem.extremely low and i feel at times that im too fat.i have gained weight do to stress and i just feel like i let myself go.i want to lose it but i cant.my friends tell me im not fat but my family members insist i lose weight.i feel pressure and confused.its gotten so bad im starving myself and eat probably once a day or not at all.i also have a disorder called PCOS.it causes weight gain.im stuck because i do like the way i look but then i dont cuz i can tell im fat.ive been thinking of just starving myself and doing nothing but diet and exercise.
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ReachOut StaffHey lizzybabyx33, thanks for reaching out. Instead of focusing on losing weight & being skinny, you should focus on eating well & feeling healthy! Extreme diets & starvation are very dangerous & can cause permanent damage. We’re sorry to hear your parents are not understanding of your medical condition & are putting unhealthy & unrealistic expectations on you. You may get some relief from talking to a school counselor, or another trusted adult about what you’re going though…. Take the brave step of talking to someone. You should also check out these fact sheets for more info:
http://us.reachout.com/facts/f...
http://us.reachout.com/facts/f...
Thinking of you <3
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D.Jenny Torresim big…and i know it. im also very self conscious i have very low self esteem. but when i draw and i begin to dance i feel wonderful…but even through that i still feel like im not good enough… i guess?
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ReachOut StaffHi there. We’re glad you found stuff you feel great about doing like drawing and dance. Knowing you have low self esteem and knowing you want to feel better are a great place to start. See our page on building self esteem for ideas on how to expand those wonderful feelings from art and dance to all the time. http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/self-esteem
Thanks for posting. The ReachOut Crew
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Samantha BI need help with this, MAJOR! I recognize that I am insecure, have low self esteem, anxiety issues, and and overall anxious personality. I have people tell me all the time that I am gorgeous and that they’re jealous of my looks and that I have the perfect body. But all I see are the flaws. I love that I’m skinny, but not that my chest is small. I love parts, and HATE others. Even though people compliment me frequently, I just don’t see it…I need tools to raise my self confidence to the max. Any help out there?
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ReachOut StaffHey Samantha. What you’re describing is completely normal. Given that we live in a society that places so much emphasis on appearance and has a very narrow definition of beauty defined by the fashion and entertainment industry. Check out this new site http://proud2bme.org/ for young women focused on body image and building positive self esteem, too.
Take care,
The ReachOut Crew
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Briee LabriceI’ve always been obsessed about my weight…ever since I was 6. I remember asking my mother if I was fat. And she said I was “Just right” I didn’t want to be just right. I wanted to be skinny.I eat, but not much :/ My biggest fear in life is becoming overweight. :///
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ReachOut StaffHi there -
When fear of being fat becomes an obsession it might signal that some professional help would be a good idea, particularly if these thoughts are connected with self harming actions. Please check out the section of ReachOut about Finding People to Help and Support You for more information. http://us.reachout.com/get-help/finding-people-to-help-and-support-you.
Thinking of you and wishing you well.
The ReachOut Crew
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morganJJonesi have low self esteem but not extremely low. i am a very out going person i laugh about everything and i talk to everyone..but im also fat, all of my friends say that im not fat but i am they all fit into jeans that range from 13-00. i wear a size 18. only one of my friends can relate to that,but she doesn’t seem to care that she wears an 18. and i always try to eat less and less every day but it jut doesnt work out,by the weekend im eating like i’ve never eaten before.
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ReachOut StaffYour experience with body image & eating is very common. If you want to loose a little weight then it’s important your set realistic expectations. Here are some tips on eating well and feeling healthy: http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/eating-well-and-feeling-healthy Also,. check out these tips to help you build up your existing self esteem: http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/self-esteem <3.
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Paola Way-Iero AlonsoI personally think that I’m fat. I’ve been meaning to lose weight because I’m not satisfied with myself. When I asked my friend to answer honestly that I need to lose wight she answered “No. You’re already skinny enough. People think you’re anorexic.” Which is a complete lie because my jean size has been gradually increasing.
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ReachOut StaffHey there- it sounds like you have low self-esteem & your perception of yourself doesn’t match how others see you. Having poor self-esteem can be really tough. Check out this fact sheet to help you raise your self-esteem & realize how beautiful you are! http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/self-esteem Also,. have a dig into our eating issues section. <3
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Alexia Dawn MeisterI am very over weight and my self esteem is at negative 1000 and it has gotten so bad that i cant even look at myself in the mirror i dont know how to lose weight easy and in a short time cause i am currently doing homeschool because of all the bullying i go through and next year im going to be a freshman and my parents are forcing me to go back to public school i need help bad..
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ReachOut StaffHi Alexia. Thanks for posting your comment. Losing weight is hard and needs to be done in collaboration with your doctor and your parents. You might also ask your parents about talking to a counselor to work on building your self esteem and preparing to go back to school. If they are not receptive to that, you can always call the Boystown Hotline anonymously 24/7 and speak to a counselor there. http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/default.aspx Take .it one small step at a time and know that you are beautiful on the inside and that people love and care about you <3
The ReachOut Crew
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XxBabygirl97My name is Kimberly I’m 15 but one problem about me is that I hate looking at myself because i hate how fat i am and im always thinking negative about myself and when i get called fat i start crying. what should i do?
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ReachOut StaffHi there -
Managing weight is a most challenging task. Have you thought about adding some support to your effort? You might benefit from seeing a nutritionist who can advise you about proper eating and how to combine eating and exercise. This is something you can do something about, but it takes gobs of willpower and knowledge about what to do. We hope you will think about seeking some assistance.
The ReachOut Crew
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lovealwaysI think I might be anorexic but I’m not 100% sure. I try to not eat for as long as I can and when I do I feel really guilty. At school I hear all the popular girls talking about how their size zero pants wont stay up, and how they are going to their athletic boyfriend’s house. I have a boy friend but he isn’t slim, and I don’t mind at all, I love him for him, but my family isn’t the most fit family, and I feel like that’s effected me some. like I see them and I don’t want to end up with a belly, I want mine to be flat or curved in some… but how can I stop worrying so much about my weight… I am a good size for my age and I’m active, but I always feel fat… what should I do about my possible eating disorder?
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ReachOut StaffHello -
Get the facts on anorexia here: http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/anorexia-nervosa If you have symtoms of anorexia please call the National Eating Disorder Hotline on 1800-931-2237 for support and advise to help you get healthy: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
Trying to replace your worry with a positive action might help - such as instead of not eating for a long long time, try eating healthier. It’s important to have a balanced diet of protein, carbs and fats. You might find this website helpful: http://www.nutrition.gov/
The ReachOut Crew
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pinky98031i only eat dinner do i have it???
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ReachOut StaffHey pinky, have a look at our resource page at: http://us.reachout.com/eatingdisorders for info, but if you want to get screened, you can take this online test: https://www.mentalhealthscreening.org/locator/nedsp/ If y.ou think that you have an extreme disturbance in eating behavior, then you should tell someone. If you can’t talk to someone close to you, like friends or family, then you can call the National Eating Disorder hotline at 1-800-931-2237. Also check out this great site for more: http://proud2bme.org