A guy’ s guide to sex myths

Photo by: kyz

Rumors and myths about sex are everywhere. Between what you hear from your friends and what you see on TV, it can be hard to know what’s true and what’s false when it comes to doing the deed. But if you’re thinking about having sex, it’s important that you know the facts. Below, we’ll debunk some of the rumors guys might hear about sex, condoms, STDs and pregnancy. You might want to check out the Thinking about having sex and A girl’s guide to sex myths fact sheets for more info, too.

Having sex

Is having too much sex bad for you?

Nope! On the other hand, you might feel a lot of pressure from your friends to be a “player.” But remember: it’s not a competition to see how many times you can have sex. Sex is about being intimate with someone you care about. If this isn’t your plan, then you might need to think about what sex means for you.

Is it possible that my penis won’t fit?

The vagina is a muscle that can expand and contract. Under tension, it tightens and might need to be relaxed. The vagina can fit comfortably around the penis whatever its size. Just take your time, try to relax and use extra lubricant if you think it might help.

Is it normal to get erections often?

An erection is a natural hardening of the penis that occurs when blood rushes to the area and this can sometimes happen at inconvenient times. Everyone is different, and there’s no way to tell what a “normal” amount of erections is. It’s perfectly normal to have a lot of unexpected erections when you’re younger, but because they’re uncontrollable, there’s not much you can do to prevent them. However, as you get older and your hormones settle, chances are that you’ll get unexpected erections less frequently.

Does a person who says “no” or “stop” when we are hooking up really mean “yes” or “keep going?”

Some might think that the person is just playing a game or pretending to push you away but you should always believe that the person is telling the truth. A person does not need to be aggressive in stopping anything from happening, but will let you know that he or she does not want to have sex or even kiss.  In all of these cases, it is your duty to stop. Alcohol and drugs can make you think that you are both comfortable, but if you’re so drunk that you don’t know if the other person is consenting, stop. When you know that the other person is so drunk that he or she might not be capable of giving consent, don’t do it because this is rape. Sex always needs to be consensual.

Condoms and contraceptives

Will a condom protect me from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)?

A condom will protect you from some STDs, but not all of them. There are some STDs that can be transmitted by skin–to-skin contact, like genital warts and genital herpes, and a condom will not provide 100% protection against these.

I’ve heard that condoms don’t work, or fail too often to be worth using. Is this true?

While not having sex is the only fool-proof way to avoid pregnancy, condoms are a safe bet and using a condom is much, much better than using nothing at all. For more information, check out the Condoms fact sheet.

What if my penis is too small for the condom?

Condoms are made in many different sizes. The key is to find the right size for you. If a condom doesn’t fit properly, there’s a higher chance that it could slip or break during sex. Condoms should fit snugly on your penis, leaving a small gap at the tip of penis and the end of the condom.

Is there a wrong way to wear a condom?

Yes! Each package of condoms will have instructions on how to put one on. Make sure you unroll the condom over the penis when it’s hard, and leave a half-inch of room at the tip of the condom to collect semen. You can read more on how to properly wear a condom at Planned Parenthood.

Will a condom make sex less enjoyable?

Although condoms are very thin layers of latex, some people feel that they change or dull the sensation of sex. However, most people overlook this because condoms are important to prevent pregnancy and the spread of STDs. Plus, if used properly, condoms may prevent premature ejaculation.

If the condom breaks, can I get emergency contraception for my girlfriend?

Yes. Emergency contraception is available at most pharmacies for men and women 18 or older, and in some states may be available for those younger than 18 without first seeing a physician. For more information on how these work, check out the Emergency contraception fact sheet.

If I withdraw before ejaculating, can she still get pregnant?

Yes! Withdrawing early doesn’t prevent pregnancy, because sperm can enter the vagina before ejaculation. It’s also possible for semen on the outside of the vagina to work its way inside as long as the sperm is fluid.

If we have sex while she’s having her period, can she still get pregnant?

Yes! Some women can ovulate, or produce eggs, at the end of their periods. Combine that with the fact that sperm can survive for up to five or six days after sex and you’ve got a recipe for pregnancy.

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)

How can you tell if a person has an STD?

A lot of STDs are asymptomatic, which means they don’t show any signs. You probably won’t be able to tell if a person has an STD just by looking at him or her. Sometimes people might not even know they’re carrying an STD. The only way to be 100% sure is to have an STD screening and to keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Ask that person if he or she has been tested before having sex. Never assume anything.

Can love protect me from getting an STD?

No matter how much people love each other, there’s no guarantee against contracting an STD or getting pregnant. Don’t fall into the “it’ll never happen to me” type of thinking, either. Using condoms and being knowledgeable about STDs are your best protection.

If I get an STD, does that mean I’m dirty?

No. Getting an STD is just like getting a cold. You’ll go to the doctor, find out what treatments are available and maybe most important of all, give yourself piece of mind. Remember that sex is a natural part of human expression, and sometimes these things happen.

The following sources provided information for this fact sheet:

Nemours Foundation

The Body.com

Planned Parenthood Federation of America

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