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ReachOut Blog


Mar
22
2010

Why do people cheat?

7

by Reach Out

We are hearing a lot about cheating lately.  People cheat on a lot of things – sports, games.   It doesn’t matter who they cheat – girlfriends, boyfriends, family, friends, strangers, coworkers.   And I am not above it all either.  My question is: why do we purposely go out and hurt others?  Because when we cheat (any kind of cheating), it is extremely likely that someone will get hurt.  And usually that person is someone we care about.  I would think that if you are ever cheated on – you aren’t likely to cheat yourself – but we all know that isn’t true.  So I don’t know.  Why do people cheat?

Comments

Responses

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    Godsmack987

    my names mike and ive been cheated on alot every girl ive dated cheated on me i kno this cuz i caught them or they told me i dont know wut to do i feel like every girl will cheat and i cant trust them and i know trust is everything but wut ive gone through i feel like i have no trust left

    • avatar1

      Reply - Quote

      ReachOut

       Hi Mike. We’re sorry you’ve been cheated on. That sucks and we can see how it would be hard to trust moving forward. It might help for you to be honest with whoever you date next and tell them you’ve been hurt a lot this way and that because of that, it might take awhile for you to build trust. Open and honest communication is the key to healthy relationships. See more on that here: http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/maintaining-a-happy-relationship

  • avatar2

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    annie

    Or it could be because maybe they do want to hurt each other, not consciously necessarily. I don’t agree with Lizzy; I think cheating has a huge variety of explanations. I’ve been cheated on and I have done the cheating. I know when I cheated on my boyfriend, I was hurt and upset and we had just had a huge fight and I was really lost and insecure and honestly wanted to hurt him which I did. And I know when he cheated on me it was a similar situation he was confused and I was being a real bitch to him and he cheated. We hurt each other like hell, but both times it really kind of dragged my problems and his problems out in the open and made us talk about everything; it wasn’t pretty at all he hurt me so much, but I don’t think cheating is an easy way out. I think sometimes as teenagers we are all just a little confused and a little lost and really unable to cope with relationships so we cheat we hurt people but we learn from it that’s the most important thing.

  • avatar2

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    lola

    I think one of the reasons why people cheat in relationships because of their insecurites.

    People who cheat may be seeking admiration from other people. It could be through low self-esteem or generally feeling unattractive. So they seek people that will change these feelings.
    I dont think anyone should take being cheated on a personal attack because its the people who cheat are the ones that have problems with themselves, not you.

  • avatar2

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    john

    cheating is done in so many forms, there are times that you have no other option but to cheat. I agree to the first sentence of what Lizzy wrote.

  • avatar2

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    Chris

    I’m not sure why people cheat.  It’s best to end a bad relationship before starting a new relationship.  The cheated always accuses the new love interest of breaking up the relationship, and takes the fall and goes through a lot of pain.

  • avatar2

    Reply - Quote

    Lizzy

    Personally speaking, I think that people cheat because they find it “the easy way out.” The truth is, in the end, it’s not the easy way - it’s actually the HARD WAY. As humans, we tend to act on impulse, and that impulse may mislead us to the wrong direction that we are actually supposed to take in life.

    I have been cheated on before SEVERAL times, and I admit to having cheated on someone before myself, but it was because I knew that the relationship wouldn’t last anyway because of the guy lying to my face for the 3 months I dated him. =/

    You also asked, “Why do we purposely go out and hurt others?” It’s not always that we purposely do it sometimes… Sometimes we do it, and don’t even notice it, or even consider the consequences that can come later along the road.

    For the intentional cheating, however, that’s another story. Some do it for their own self-benefit (money, their definition of “happiness,” etc.), and others do it for a range of reasons. It all depends on the person honestly. The person, or people if multiple, getting hurt, is oftentimes the offender(s). That doesn’t mean you yourself are off the hook either though - it hurts just as bad to be the one cheated as it does to be the one that cheats. I would know from my own personal life experiences.

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