Announcing… the Launch of ReachOut Forums!

by Meredith Community

Just in time for Mental Health Awareness Month, we’re excited to announce the launch of moderated forums on ReachOut.com! Driven by youth and guided by 10 peer facilitators, the forums are a safe, anonymous peer-to-peer community created to help teens and young adults like you get through tough times.

The official launch date is Monday, May 21, but you can check out the safe and supportive online discussions happening there right now. Register today and chime in on some of the mental health topics currently trending (grief, partying, breakups, etc.), or start a new thread of your own.

And be sure to watch that space.  We will soon be offering an "Ask the Expert" feature where teens and young adults can ask mental health professionals questions anonymously in the forums, and responses will be shared for the benefit of all ReachOut users. Look for details coming soon!

In the meantime, take a look at the Community Guidelines, introduce yourself and share whatever is on your mind. We hope you enjoy your time in the RO community, and we’re looking forward to the conversations ahead.

Support for the ReachOut Forums Provided By: The Stigma and Discrimination Reduction Consortium is a component of The Strategies for a Supportive program, funded by the voter-approved Mental Health Services Act (Prop. 63). It is one of several Prevention and Early Intervention Initiatives implemented by the California Mental Health Services Authority (CalMHSA), an organization of county governments working to improve mental health outcomes for individuals, families and communities. CalMHSA operates services and education programs on a statewide, regional and local basis. For more information, visit www.calmhsa.org.

A Season for Stressing

by Meredith School

If you're a student like me, you probably don't need to be told that finals season is upon us. Frankly, there are reminders everywhere. On campus, in coffee shops, the stress can be palpable and even distracting when you're facing down your own looming deadlines. It can actually affect your whole body.

We feel your pain (at times, literally) and wanted to help. Before the panic sets in or gets more intense, check out these tips from our fact sheets on managing feelings of stress or anxiety to actually get things done! 

Learn effective study habits. Many people feel overwhelmed at exam time. Relearning a lot of information in a short period of time or not understanding course material can be a big stress. Possible distractions like texting on your phone and keeping your computer screen open are things to avoid while studying. Check out Exam time: tips for effective studying fact sheet for more practical advice on effective study techniques.

Keep your routine outside studying and take regular breaks. It’s important to have regular study breaks and time for relaxation and exercise. Going for a walk, run, or to the gym is not a waste of time—it’s a great way to clear your head and help you study better.

Don’t abuse. Caffeine in coffee, No Doze pills and energy drinks, as well as other drugs like speed or cocaine can give you a short lift before causing you to crash and burn. They can make you feel sick and keep you from sleeping well or concentrating properly. You’ll actually study better with regular breaks, lots of sleep and regular exercise.

Manage expectations. External pressures surrounding exams and grades can be huge. It might be hard to deal with these pressures, especially with family and people you respect, but remember that you’re in control of your life and your grades. Here are some tips to help you manage these pressures:

• Base expectations on your past performance and doing the best you can do.
• Put the exam in context.  In the scheme of your life, how important is it? If you don’t do as well as you’d hoped, there are always alternatives. One grade won’t dictate whether you are a good or a bad person, or whether you are a success or failure. Exams can’t measure these sorts of things. All they measure is how well you can present the material asked for by the examiner—nothing more, nothing less.
• Take the pressure as a compliment. This can be easier said than done, but remember that the people putting pressure on you want you to do well, and think that you’re capable of achieving.

Read more time and life-saving exam stress tips on our fact sheet. And remember you are not alone!

What are your positive tips for keeping school stress at bay? Feel free to share survival strategies and relaxation techniques in comments. 

Photo by Shutterstock

The Perception of Depression

by Meredith Mental Health

For more on depression, check out these fact sheets

Depression: causes, types, and symptoms
Bipolar Disorder
Finding People to Help and Support You

Photo by Shutterstock

About Lindsey
My name is Lindsey DeLillo. I'm 20 years old and live in New Jersey. I went to school to get my cosmetology license > after high school and am now looking to enroll in some classes at a local community college. I'm hoping to major in either art education or music  education, since those are two things I've always been passionate about and spent a lot of time doing.

Interview: Lee Hirsch, Director of “Bully”

by Meredith Interviews, School

In the new documentary "Bully," director Lee Hirsch takes on the painful but pervasive issue of bullying in schools. Through a small, brave sample -- a Sioux City, Iowa teenager tortured for being different, a lesbian high school student in Oklahoma, families who lost their bullied children to suicide -- of the many young people affected by bullying, the film seeks to be a comfort to those who may feel alone and a call to action for all. We spoke with Lee Hirsch to learn more about the selection process, his ratings battle with the MPAA, the movie's message to bystanders and more. Go see the film in theaters now and also check out our resources on bullying below this post!

What drew you to the issue of bullying?

Lee Hirsch: It was a very personal story, I was bullied as a kid and you carry those memories. As a filmmaker, I know you have to find stories that carry you, that are meaningful to you. This was something I’d been thinking about for many, many, many years. I kept picking it up and putting it down, not knowing how I could do it, or what I would say, or to what extent I would delve into the landscape of my own memories, and finally I felt ready to do it.

Once I started, I realized how much need there was. I wasn’t aware of the statistics when I started. I wasn’t aware of how broadly this impacts people. And I think that’s one of the powerful messages of the film: So many people share this story of having been bullied, having witnessed it, carrying those memories, feeling like they didn’t have a voice around this issue.

So it all really came together, and I felt like this was an important thing to do. That’s how it got started.

How did you find and ultimately select the kids and the families you followed in the film?

Lee Hirsch: A lot of the families we learned about through local news stories. Some we found, and I’m going to keep this broad because we filmed many more families than the ones in the film, like Kelby, her mom had written into The Ellen Degeneres Show about the abuse she was going through and how desperate they felt and how difficult it was. [Ellen's] producers agreed to put us in touch.

Alex is really the main story you experience in the movie. We met him because we had been given access at his school. We had been looking for access and talking to schools about being given access to film inside the school for a year. We met him on orientation day and it struck me that he might be a student who was bullied.

There were different ways, but we found these amazing kids and families that we ultimately selected and filmed for this project.

One of the most disheartening realities you capture in the film is the roadblock that some victims and parents encounter when approaching school administrators and other authority figures about bullies.  Do you see this as a generational disconnect or something else? What is it that you felt these adults weren’t understanding?

Lee Hirsch: I think that the broader question is how can adults really step up here. We’re asking a lot of youth, we’re asking youth to step up, to be upstanders and not to be bystanders. They need partnership from their teachers, from school support staff, from administrators.

I think that there are wonderful, wonderful, wonderful teachers and administrators across our country. And I think that there are some that don’t get this issue, that don’t connect to it, that don’t have the empathy, the training, they’re overwhelmed. They feel like they’ve been given mixed messages about what’s a priority.

I hope that the conversation is a powerful one in the education space. I’m speaking to you right now from Washington D.C. where I’m about to screen the film for a very exciting crowd hosted by the NEA (National Education Association) and the AFT (American Federation of Teachers). We’re really engaged in this conversation in how do we support educators to take this on in a new and more powerful way, to give them the tools that they need. To give them the resources and the push.

On ReachOut we’re currently running a contest asking teen programmers to help empower bystanders to speak out against bullying, so I was just curious what message do you hope the film sends to those young people who see bullying happening around them?  How can they help?

Lee Hirsch: What I’m hearing back is that they’re seeing their own agency. They’re seeing that the things that they may not have identified as bullying matter. They have the power to step in and find really creative ways to be upstanders. They're seeing that they themselves are the changemakers.

We actually have a cool initiative we launched with Ashoka asking youth to come up with responses to the film that create and foster empathy in their schools. This is where we’re most hopeful. We don’t force feed answers in the movie. I have a huge amount of faith and respect for youth. As creative as they are at bullying, I think they can be just as creative in finding solutions. That’s one of the best things that’s happening with the movie right now.

I know you recently resolved the ratings issue with the MPAA by making some slight modifications to language used in the film. Could you comment on that whole episode?

Lee Hirsch: We were given this rating that felt absolutely wrong. We decided to fight it, the kids in the film asked me to fight it. Alex Libby, now 15, went to the MPAA and argued really powerfully for why this rating was wrong and why kids needed to be able to see this and hear the language they hear every day of their lives. I felt that, in particular, there was one scene that I refused to cut because the language was so critical to conveying the experience of being bullied.

And then all this incredible activism happened that I had nothing to do with and couldn’t have dreamed up. Katy Butler and her strength and her courage and her petition on Change.org and the half a million people that ultimately signed on to that. The thing that I would say is they didn’t just sign the petition, they wrote their stories, they wrote letters, they shared it on their Facebook walls. They got the conversation going and they weren’t just talking about the MPAA, they were talking about why bullying is important and why stepping up is important.

How do you respond to the criticism the film simplifies the link between bullying and suicide?

Lee Hirsch:  I don’t think that film simplifies the link between suicide and bullying. I think the film tells the story of five families and two of those families lost their children and those children were seriously bullied. We have 25 partner organizations and some of the smartest people in the world have vetted this film. I don’t think we do that.

We have to talk about bullying and suicide. There is headline after headline after headline. There is tragedy after tragedy. There’s always going to be people who disagree with you, but I believe that what we’re doing is making a difference and it’s a positive difference. That’s really what’s important here.

Right. The important thing is starting a conversation that gets at the complexities of the issue.

Lee Hirsch: And that’s why we have the resources and the viewing guide and the educators and the partnerships and all these organizations that work in the space are engaged and a part of this process because it’s an important conversation. What I'm hearing from hundreds of people now is that they’re seeing this film with their kids and their kids are talking about it with them for the first time in their lives. There are real positive outcomes now from this film and that’s where my focus is.

So what comes next? How can those moved by the film take action?

Lee Hirsch: We want them to engage on our website at bullyproject.com, which is getting better by the day. We have major youth initiatives under the students section of the website. We’re honing that more and more with our youth partners. We want them to step up, let us know how they’re doing it, be creative.

We also set a goal that we want a million kids to see this film. So we’re working on figuring out how to do that. We want to keep cooking!

For more information on bullying and bystanders, see these fact sheets:
What to do if you are being bullied
Cyberbullying
What to do if someone you know is being bullied
Bystanders role in cyberbullying

Have you seen the movie "Bully"? What did you think?

When to Start Talking About Dating Violence

by Meredith Relationships

First relationships are usually a learning experience. By dating another person, you get to know more about yourself and what it means to be a good partner. Unfortunately, sometimes these early lessons come from negative examples.  New research out of the Start Strong: Building Healthy Teen Relationships initiative shows that many middle schoolers are dating and experiencing physical, psychological and digital dating abuse.

According to the study of 1,430 seventh grade students, three-quarters of students had already had a boyfriend or girlfriend, more than one in three (37%) said they'd been a victim of 'psychological dating violence' (such as being forbidden to hang out with their friends), and nearly one in six (15%) said they'd suffered 'physical dating violence.' And the issue wasn't just limited to violence against girls. Students actually tended to see violence against boys as more acceptable — half of students said it would sometimes be okay for a girl to hit her boyfriend, such as if he "makes his girlfriend jealous on purpose.” Only 7% said a boy could hit his girlfriend in the same situation.

The good news is the study also found that nearly three-quarters of students were talking to their parents about dating and teen dating violence. This type of communication is key when it comes to reducing the risk for teen dating violence, and it's not all that can be done!

Like Start Strong, we believe friends, schools and communities can all play a part in the conversation around what makes a healthy relationship strong and how to spot the warning signs of an abusive relationship (possessiveness, jealousy, put downs, threats).  The first step is to just start talking...

What do you think about starting discussions around dating and dating violence at an earlier age? When did you first start talking about these topics? And with who? Share your thoughts in comments.

Also, check out our related fact sheets about assessing your relationship, maintaining a healthy relationship and dealing with and ending an abusive relationship.

For more information on teen dating violence, also check out our friends at Love Is Respect.

Photo from Start Strong press release

What Makes a Good Friend?

by Meredith Friends

What does it take to be a BFF? Over on teen virtual world, Habbo, we asked a couple questions about the meaning of friendship and wanted to share some of the great answers with ReachOut fans.  We weren't surprised to hear trust, support and loyalty come up again and again. What do you think friendship means? Feel free to add your own thoughts and experiences in comments! 

What does it mean to be a good friend to someone?

“To always be there with them through thick and thin. To be a good listener and have a good time with each other.”

“Being a good friend to someone is listening to their problems, standing up for them, is being someone they can trust.”

“It is always important to be there for something if they are having problems, you have always got their back and like them for the way they are.”

“Be trustworthy. Always be there for them and help them with their problems. Have laugh with them and never make them feel bad about themselves. Tell them the truth whether it’s what they want to hear or not.”

Share an experience where you were really there for someone or someone was really there for you.

“Well... When I broke my arm it was hard because I couldn’t do ALL the things they could do. So my friend stayed with me and made the best of it. He really cheered me up, and after a while with his help I could do some things with my cast on because he tried and tried to make my cast work. That’s my story and I will never forget it.”

“When my grandpa passed away a few months ago, I was surrounded by love. Everybody took into consideration how I was feeling and allowed me to have my space and talk when I was ready.”

“When my friend lost his mum as a young teen. I was there to be with him, support him, and to make his memory of her a happy one.”

Also, check out these fact sheets on what makes a healthy friendship:
Friendships
Meeting New People
Coping With Peer Problems

Photo by epSos.de

Create a Facebook App to Help Teens Stand Up Against Cyberbullying!

by Meredith Online Networks, School

Speaking out against cyberbullying takes courage, support... and smart, simple digital tools teens will actually use! To inspire all of the above, ReachOut, with the support of the ESA (Entertainment Software Association Foundation), has launched the National “Don’t Just Stand By” Teen Facebook App Developer Competition. We're inviting young programmers between 13-17 years old to develop a Facebook application that empowers bystanders of cyberbullying to take action.

Through May 25, we'll be accepting entries designed to reach potential bystanders of cyberbullying incidents who are between the ages of 14-24. The goal of each project should be to increase an overall understanding of what cyberbullying is and include a specific call to action for witnesses of online ridicule or harassment.  The winner of the competition will receive $2,000 plus five hours of virtual mentorship from an adult programmer matched according to the type of app developed. Second place wins $1,500 and the third place winner gets $500 -- both will also be matched with mentors.

Why bystanders? Because research shows cyberbullying occurs most frequently in the presence of bystanders who choose to merely watch the events unfold instead of doing something. According to Pew Internet’s August 2011 Tracking Survey, two-thirds of teens who have witnessed online cruelty have also witnessed others joining in – and 21% say they have also joined in the harassment. To end cyberbullying, these bystanders must be inspired to speak up.

We strongly believe in the ability of young people to reverse this trend through brainpower, solidarity and technology and look forward to what comes of this call to action! Good luck!

To help get started, check out our fact sheets on cyberbullying:
Bystanders role in cyberbullying
Cyberbullying

For more information and rules about Reach Out’s National “Don’t Just Stand By” Teen Facebook App Developer Competition, please visit: http://www.reachout.com/contest.

Wondering Which Came First: Bullying or Depression?

by Meredith Friends, Mental Health, School

After attending the launch of the Born This Way Foundation in Boston last week, we wanted to share this powerful and personal guest post from Youth Council Member Meredith Schneider on her experience with bullying growing up. Be sure to check out her bio at the end! 

Adolescence is a time when self-confidence is being tested—no one knows who they are or where they are going. Comfort zones are beginning to be tested, and people do not know how to react to the changes around them. So sometimes... they lash out.

When I was in high school, I didn’t date. I was super involved in school and extracurricular activities—my idea was to work hard enough to go to an amazing college. I spent all of my time building toward my future, and it ended up taking me places. But, because I didn’t date, people made fun of me. People questioned my sexuality, calling me a lesbian just because I never had a boyfriend. This spiraled into other claims and jabs at my personality, including making fun of the fact that I am a twin. And then the same people who made fun of my personality started to make fun of my looks because I was too nice to retaliate.

During my sophomore year of high school, I cried for the first time in front of my classmates. I decided—after having my life threatened over the internet because of the size of my nose—that it was finally time to not be the nice girl anymore. I changed my attitude because of the way that people treated me. I spiraled down into depression that was not outwardly acknowledged and diagnosed until my sophomore year of college.

I’d like to say I know the answer to the question of what comes first, bullying or depression. I can say that what came first for me was the bullying. But some people are genetically predisposed to depression. It turns out that I was, but that it didn’t trigger until later in life. The truth is that it doesn’t matter if you are meant to be depressed or not. No one deserves to be bullied for being who they are.

Gay, depressed, lesbian, transgender, straight, smart, disabled, depressed, multiple, calm, intense… work it. And don’t dwell on the chicken or the egg. Eventually, most people will grow up and move past it either on their own or by getting help.

For extra reading on the topic of bullying, check out these related links:
For Straight Kids Who Don't Act Straight, It Gets Worse (GOOD)
Are depressed kids bully magnets? (CNN)

To learn more about depression and genetics, visit this website:
Major Depression and Genetics (Stanford)

And for fact sheets on these topics, check out:
What to do if you are being bullied
Cyberbullying
What to do if someone you know is being bullied
What is girl vs. girl bullying

Photo by lenifuzhead

About Meredith

My name is Meredith, and I was born in Kansas City, Missouri.  I spent half of my childhood in Sacramento, CA, and then moved back to KC, where I have been immersed in the NFL and NBA because of my parents’ jobs.  I graduated from the University of San Diego a year and a half early with a Communication Studies degree, and am back in the KC area taking a break from life and working part-time for a beauty store.  I have a twin sister and a younger brother, as well as a “puppy” named Kali.  I love to write, act, sing, and go on silly little adventures with my friends.  Music is my life.  I enjoy scrapbooking, home improvement projects, and am a very creative person in general.  I can’t wait to make an impression on the ReachOut community and to be inspired by all of you!

The Value of Volunteering

by Meredith Community, Volunteering

Today's guest post is from young filmmaker Matt Palmer about the personal benefits of volunteering and his documentary on the topic. Don't forget to read his bio at the end of the post!

High school students are unquestionably busy people. A typical high schooler has to balance homework, studying, socializing, and extracurricular activities such as sports, music, or art. There is only so much time in a day! So when I was told that my high school would require me to do community service on top of all of these other things, I wasn’t sure it was even possible. Yet today, almost a year after graduating from college, I am grateful that my school made me do volunteer work. In fact, I am now making a documentary film about the amazing place where I began volunteering six years ago while in high school. It’s safe to say that doing service changed my life.

Going into my senior year of high school, I chose to complete the entirety of my service requirement in one week. This was not unusual, as many students volunteered at week-long summer camps to do the required 50 hours of service during the summer. So, along with several of my friends, I went to Camp ReCreation, a summer camp that serves individuals with developmental disabilities. These disabilities, I was informed at the camp’s training session, ranged from Downs Syndrome to autism to cerebral palsy. I was also told that the camp would be one of the most fun weeks I would ever have. Many students who volunteered there returned year after year, and when I arrived at the camp that summer I saw many alumni of my high school. Despite this, I was very nervous—what if I couldn’t take care of someone for a whole week? What if the person I was paired with didn’t have fun?

After two days at camp my fears evaporated. It was almost impossible to not have fun with these individuals. They were open, loving, and incredibly insightful. They were unbelievable people, and that week made me see life in a whole new way. I have returned to Camp Rec for the past six years and after graduating from film school decided to make a documentary about the camp and the population it serves. I cannot imagine my life without camp and without the incredible people that go to it. Six years ago, I was a high school student reluctant to spend time serving others. Now, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

You can learn more about the documentary I am working on, called Friends of Mine, at www.elsewherepictures.com or by liking the Friends of Mine Facebook page. Also, you can watch the documentary’s promotional video here. Please spread the word about this project! Volunteering is also a great way to gain experience if you're looking for a job! Check out our fact sheet on this for more.

Have you had a volunteer/service experience that changed your life? Share it in the comments!

About Matthew Palmer
Matthew recently completed his final year as an undergraduate student at New York University where he earned a degree in Media Studies and a minor in Film and Television Production. He graduated Cum Laude. He has written, produced, and directed several short films, short documentaries, and music videos. He has also worked on a significant amount of projects as a production assistant, script supervisor, or assistant director. In addition, Matthew has been a volunteer counselor at Camp ReCreation for the last five years.

‘Forever Alone’ on February 14?

by Meredith Moods, Relationships

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, there's a lot of pressure out there to be in a couple. If you're single, it might make you feel sad, lonely or simply excluded. You're not the only one! In today's guest post, ReachOut Council member Brandon addresses the common challenges and shares how he plans to navigate the holiday. Be sure to read his bio at the end of the post!

Walking past the Valentine’s Day section at the store can be really depressing when you feel have no one to celebrate it with. Sometimes you may feel like you’ll never find anyone, that you'll end up like the popular internet meme, “Forever Alone.” My name’s Brandon, and just like many other teens, I will be spending this holiday alone. It’s totally understandable why we get ourselves bummed out. There are the cards, flowers, chocolate, and fancy dates. And for some of us, it's just about feeling wanted. Well, when next week rolls around, try to gain a different perspective on the holiday. I know I have.

Although the history of the holiday has been masked by greeting card companies, it can generally be described as a day where you show your appreciation for loved ones. How we interpret "loved ones" is completely up to us. It could be your boyfriend/girlfriend, or it could be a family member, a friend, or anyone really. Instead of us focusing on how we don’t have the former, we should take that time and thank our friends and family for how much they mean to us and how much we love them.

Here are some valid (and some comical) reasons why being single can be beneficial:

- You can concentrate on doing things you enjoy. You don’t have to worry about pleasing someone else, so you can focus on yourself. Maybe finish reading that book you’ve always wanted to read or start up a new activity.

- Your decisions only affect you and don’t involve a partner's wants, needs or contradictory opinion. If you want to go to a certain restaurant, go for it. You have no one holding you back, no one you have to consult with first.

- You can save a lot of money. Let’s face it, relationships cost a lot of money. The dates, the presents, the clothes to look good, the gas money; it all adds up. When you’re, single you get to keep it all for yourself.

And when February 14 does roll around next week, here are some ideas thought up by all of us at ReachOut of what you can do instead:

"Make a date with friends!" –Chloe

"Buy those corny little kid valentines for your friends. It's not just a celebration of romantic love!"–Catherine

"Give your parents or best friend flowers and tell them how much you love them! Do something nice for yourself!" –Nich

"Do a nice thing and baby sit for a couple that can't get out that night because of kids." –Catherine

"Have a’ Single’s Awareness’ party with your friends where you just hang out, eat, and most importantly, have fun." - me

So just remember, no matter how you spend your Valentine’s Day this year, remember that you ARE loved by more people than you know, and just because you haven’t found the ‘right’ guy or girl yet, doesn’t mean you won’t!

Finally, you can check out these fact sheets and real stories that may also help you get through the holiday:

I'm single and I'm happy
Having difficulty finding the right person for you
Overcoming loneliness
Boys are confusing
Focus on who you are

Photo by Mandy Sousa

How do you plan to celebrate (or not!) Valentine's Day single or with your sweetie?

About Brandon
My name is Brandon. I am 17 years old and am currently a junior in high school. When I am not occupied with my part-time job or on my social networks (Facebook, Twitter, & Tumblr), I find myself active in National Honor Society, Rotary Interact, and Big Brothers Big Sisters all through my school. Outside of school, I volunteer at our local food pantry, am a student election judge, and am a worship leader at my church.  I look forward to helping those who are going through things similar to what I did, and to help then realize: I’ve been there. I’ve made it through. And I am now stronger than I ever thought I was before.

Interview: Meg Haston, Author of ‘How to Rock Braces and Glasses’

by Meredith Books, Interviews

This week, we caught up with author Meg Haston to discuss her latest book, How to Rock Braces and Glasses, making it through middle school and the key to giving good advice as host of gURL.com video series "How to Deal."

We'll also be giving away a free copy of the book to the first three people to leave a comment on the ReachOut website about a trial or triumph from middle school. You must be in the US to receive a book and please use a real email address when you register to comment (we will not distribute or use for marketing purposes). Good luck RO fans!

What inspired you to write "How to Rock Braces and Glasses!"?

Meg Haston: Everyone’s middle and high school experiences are different, but the one universal truth is this: we will all, at some point, feel insecure. When our queen bee protagonist Kacey Simon has to get braces and glasses and no longer looks perfect on the outside, we start to see the insecurities she feels on the inside. I loved the idea of writing about a girl who seems to live a perfect, charmed existence—and showing that even that girl has times when she feels like a major geek.

How much, if any, of the story was drawn from personal experience?

Meg Haston:The story isn’t autobiographical—I was never the most popular in school and I hope I never treated anyone the way Kacey treats people at the start of the book—but I can absolutely relate with the insecurities she feels when she gets braces and glasses. I had both, but I definitely didn’t rock them!

In the book, you explore how "queen bee" Kacey copes after falling in the ranks of her middle school hierarchy. What message do you hope tween and teen readers will take away from Kacey's story?

Meg Haston: I hope that readers will see that how we treat others truly matters—when Kacey falls from grace, she’s forced to take a look at the ways in which she’s been really hurtful to the people around her. And I hope that readers will take away the message that being able to rock anything—braces, glasses, whatever—comes from having inner confidence and believing in yourself.

Can you tell us a little about your upcoming gURL.com web series "How to Deal"? What made you decide to take the leap from writing about an advice columnist to dispensing genuinely helpful insights to teens? What type of topics will you be tackling and how do you develop your responses?

Meg Haston: I’m SO pumped about my upcoming “How to Deal” video series with gURL.com. My background is as a mental health therapist, so shooting these advice videos for gURL feels like an awesome way to dispense some really helpful advice to teens in a cool way.

I’ll be tackling issues that most of us have faced at some point—from how to deal with pushy parents to how to deal with unavailable crushes. When I sit down to develop my responses, I think about what I would say to a girl coming to me as a therapy client with any of these issues. My responses will include a mixture of what I’ve learned and experienced as a therapist, and what I’ve experienced as a teenager dealing with some of these same concerns.

"How to Rock Braces and Glasses!" is also being adapted as a TV show on Nickelodeon. Are you involved? Did you have any specific requests for howthe story and/or characters were translated to the screen?

Meg Haston: Yes! The Nickelodeon show How to Rock will air on Saturday, February 4th at 8:30 PM. I’ve seen the pilot episode and it seriously rocks! My role is as the author of the books, so I’m not involved with the television side of things. But it’s beyond exciting to see these characters that I spent so much time with as I wrote the book come to life on the screen.

As you know, ReachOut is all about helping young people get through a tough time. What helped you get through a tough time as a teen?

Meg Haston: I think the number one thing that has helped me through tough times, both as a teen and as an adult, are the strong relationships I have with family and friends. We’re social creatures—we’re not meant to go through difficult times on our own. When we’re struggling, it’s okay to reach out. It can be tough to ask for help, but having a safe, validating support system is so important.

About Meg Haston:

Meg Haston survived braces and glasses in middle school; whether she rocked them is debatable. She did go on to rock other things, including but not limited to: slap bracelets, a B.S. in Communication Studies from Northwestern University, and an M.Ed. in Professional Counseling from the University of Georgia. HOW TO ROCK BRACES AND GLASSES is her first novel,and she's currently at work on a sequel, coming in Fall 2012. She lives in Jacksonville, FL.

Interview: Delilah, NBC’s “The Sing Off”

by Meredith Interviews, Music

Today's guest post is from ReachOut Council member Chloe, interviewing the all-female a capella group Delilah from season three of NBC's "The Sing-Off."   This is the latest in a series of interviews Chloe has been doing with entertainers on what's gotten them through a tough time. This time around, Chloe was lucky enough to sit down with all eight group members (Amy Whitcomb, Candace Eve, Geena Glaser, Hannah Juliano, Ingrid Andress, Johanna Vinson, Kendall Young and Laina Walker), so for clarity’s sake answers are attributed to each individual. Also, be sure to check out Chloe's bio at the end!

Chloe: How long have you been performing for?

Laina: I’ve been singing since I was a little girl. My grandmother started giving me lessons when I was eight years-old. She started training me in classical when I was eight, and I would do recitals with her that she would have for her students and ever since then, I’ve done random little shows. I performed in middle and high school, and then I’ve performed with Noteworthy (BYU’s female acapella singing group) for two years.

Ingrid: For only about three years, actually. I was actually a sports person in high school, and I wanted to pursue that in college. But it wasn’t until my senior year that I realized was more than just a hobby for me and that I would much rather want to do that than sports. I just started my senior year of high school, and I’m still learning like, how to get over stage fright and stuff. Most people think that I’m the most comfortable person on stage, but I actually get SO nervous.

Chloe: What inspired you to pursue a career as a performer?

Kendall: There are a lot of seeds in my life that led me to follow this and love it and keep pursuing it. I was just always encouraged that this was a gift that I had, and it’s a way of communicating for me. I feel I communicate better through song and music than I do through having a conversation with a person. I feel like when I’m talking, I’m not getting through all of the emotion behind my words. I think that’s why I knew that I needed to sing.

Laina: You know, part of the reason I haven’t started my major until now is because I kind of went back and forth about it. I knew I would be performing my whole life but I didn’t know if I wanted to major in it. Eventually, I just came to the conclusion that it’s something that I absolutely love to do. I know that it’s not going to be easy, but anything worth doing is going to be hard. I was really lucky to have supportive parents and they’ve been there for me since day one and their support has been a huge deciding factor in choosing music as a career path. I think that eventually I would like to do teaching, but until then, I want to take advantage of as many opportunities that come my way.

Chloe: Who in your career/personal life do you look up to or admire? Why?

Amy: I really look up to my mom, and I think I always will. She is very selfless and very service-oriented and her life is serving others and she has always set such a great example of that. If I am starting to get a little too self-indulgent and selfish, I remember my mom and how happy she is because she serves other people. I also really look up to my friend Catherine. She was a mentor to me in college and she’s still chasing after her dreams and she’s so talented and so humble and her humility and determination and passion has really inspired me.

I also really look up to Lady GaGa because of her complete devotion to her fans and because of the strong objective she has for performing. She never has an unmotivated performance. She has a reason for every performance and that objective is deep in her soul and it’s really apparent. She is 100% nuts, but I love that about her. She’s probably the performer that I most look up to.

Geena: I think my mom and my sister are two people that I’ve always admired and looked up to. My sister actually is a singer too and she started the performing thing first so I watched her do that and, not followed her in any sense because we’re very different in what we perform, but she opened that door for me. And my mom is just an incredible woman and has always reminded me to stay strong and has always been really really supportive.

Chloe: You've been on "The Sing Off" twice now. How are your experiences on the show similar and different from one another?

Candace: Season one with Voices of Lee was different because it was a guinea pig experience for everyone that season.  I was way more nervous just because I didn’t have a clue what it all meant and couldn’t fathom who was watching.  It just had the whole “new” experience feeling.  Season three with Delilah felt so magical for the way our group came together. A lot of it is unexplainable to outsiders. We all realize the special bond that has happened every single rehearsal, conversation with each other, stepping out on that stage each and every show. I know that God brought us together, this kind of stuff doesn’t happen every day.  We are very fortunate.

Ingrid: What’s different is the whole approach that I’ve been taking with the show. Last season, it was really new and we did more of what they wanted, it was more of a timid approach. It helped me realize that it’s better to stay true to who you are as a musician rather than conforming to modern music and what it wants you to do. This season it was more of the attitude that “We’re going to go in here and perform what we want and take a song that’s popular and put our own spin on it”. This year I felt more in control musically and I felt more confident in what we are singing. This season was also a big learning experience for me because I hardly have any friends that are girls unfortunately and so I went into thinking “Wow, I’m going to be with seven other girls” and so it really helped me appreciate being more of a girl and having that bond, and it was an empowering feeling. I am definitely a different person after hanging out with all of those girls.

Chloe: Given that you are all very close to your faith and beliefs, do you feel any kind of pressure or conflict to conform your values and morals when it comes to being mainstream?

Amy: That’s a really good question, and that’s actually something that I’ve really been struggling with, and yes. Something that I’ve realized within the past few months is that I’ve always known who I am. I’ve always had a good grip on who I was and who I wanted to be and the entertainment industry, as much of a gift and blessing music is, it can be used in a lot of bad ways too. A lot of times people are just unnecessarily vulgar and it really starts to wear on me. Basically what I have realized is that even when I’m confused, I do know what is me and it’s a matter of recommitting to that every day. I think it’s a matter of staying spiritually strong and sticking to the things that have gotten me so far.

Kendall: I feel like music is not mine. Whenever I sing/perform/write a song, I always think of it as something that the Lord is doing through me and I’m just there to give it to other people. It’s always just about giving for me. On the Sing-Off, I didn’t feel any pressure to sing certain things and perform certain ways, it was really nice. There were a lot of other people who loved Jesus as well, so we bonded together and would talk about things and it was great to be able to talk to other people about those sorts of things. Everything that I do goes back to him, and it’s the whole reason why I sing.

Chloe: Who in your career/personal life do you look up to or admire? Why?

Amy: I really look up to my mom, and I think I always will. She is very selfless and very service-oriented and her life is serving others and she has always set such a great example of that. If I am starting to get a little too self-indulgent and selfish, I remember my mom and how happy she is because she serves other people. I also really look up to my friend Katherine. She was a mentor to me in college and she’s still chasing after her dreams and she’s so talented and so humble and her humility and determination and passion has really inspired me.

I also really look up to Lady GaGa because of her complete devotion to her fans and because of the strong objective she has for performing. She never has an unmotivated performance. She has a reason for every performance and that objective is deep in her soul and it’s really apparent. She is 100% nuts, but I love that about her. She’s probably the performer that I most look up to.

Geena: I think my mom and my sister are two people that I’ve always admired and looked up to. My sister actually is a singer too and she started the performing thing first so I watched her do that and, not followed her in any sense because we’re very different in what we perform, but she opened that door for me. And my mom is just an incredible woman and has always reminded me to stay strong and has always been really really supportive.

Chloe: In your career, describe a tough time or a personal struggle that you've gone through.

Hannah Juliano: When it comes to music, The Sing Off is the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do in my life. I’ve never been more exhausted. Your voice gets tired, your emotions run dry, you’re constantly being inspired, and your mood just goes up and down each minute because it feels like one day is three weeks long

Chloe: In your personal life, describe a tough time or a personal struggle you've dealt with.

Geena Glaser: When I was about 10 or 11, I was diagnosed with Scoliosis, and I was told that I was going to have to wear a back brace for three years during middle school, which is probably the worst point in your life to have to deal with that. So I wore a back brace for those three years, which was plastic and went from like, right under my bra to right below my belt. It was really uncomfortable and painful actually, and it was mentally hard to deal with because I was self-conscious about it. I wore really baggy clothing and I didn’t want anyone to touch me because I didn’t want anyone to know, so it was a lot being in middle school and being so concerned about appearance and just being hyper aware of what people thought about me. I had this huge secret that I needed to keep from everywhere just for my personal sanity. It was something that was really rough for me.

 I had some really wonderful friends [who helped me get through it]. I’ve had the same best friend since I was in first grade, and she was really great about it. She just made me feel comfortable, she didn’t make me feel self-conscious in any sense and it was just part of who I was and that was fine. She kept me grounded in that. My mom was really wonderful in the same sense. She just kept me grounded as well and didn’t let me stray from being me. It’s so easy to get caught up in middle school with all of the drama and whatnot, but it was nice to have people there to remind me that everything was going to be okay.

Chloe: Who/what helps you deal with day-to-day life?

Jo: My friends, absolutely. A couple of years ago, I had a really tough time. I couldn’t find a job and I was just struggling and it was my rock bottom. The only reason I got through it was because of my friends. They were there for me emotionally and pulled me out of a lot of intense situations. I don’t think I would be who I am and be able to do what I do if it wasn’t for them. If not for my friends being the most incredible support system, I would not be where I am and doing what I love. I feel like the universe gave me all of the best people, and I love it.

Hannah: It’s so cheesy, but the girls in Delilah. I couldn’t have done any of that experience without them. There’s just so great and supportive. You’d expect it to be really difficult being in a group with seven other girls, with emotions and attitudes, but we don’t have any of that. We worked so well together and we are so much more than just a group for a t.v. show, it’s more than that. We really wanted to inspire people and change people’s perception. So those girls, my best friends, my family. Those are the people that I really lean on. I’ve got a really good support team, I got very lucky with that.

Chloe: What message or advice would you give to others trying to get through tough times or personal struggles?

Candace: First of all, just know that YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE FEELING THIS WAY. You’re not the only one who has ever felt this struggle or challenge in your life. That’s not to take away from the uniqueness of your circumstance or situation, it really just means that you’re not alone. You are really not alone. I believe that God works through our family and friends and even strangers to impact our lives in a positive way. Everyone is different. But, I believe God’s power is the same and sufficient for everyone.

Jo: Take things a day at a time. Setting a goal for yourself is a wonderful idea. If you know that things will be better because you will make them that way in like six months or so, that’s something to work towards and focus on and I think that it really helps. If you’re kind of just wallowing and you don’t know when it’s going to end, you have to take things a day at a time and force yourself to push through. Know that you are the only person that is in charge of your life and you can use the people around you and their love to motivate yourself. People can only help you if you can help yourself. You need to have faith in yourself and that things will get better and the only thing that will hold you back is if you don’t try.

About Delilah
A conglomeration of singers, mostly from the first two seasons of "The Sing-Off." This talented all-female a cappella group includes Amy and Laina of BYU Noteworthy and Candace from Voices of Lee from season one. Kendall from Eleventh Hour and Hannah and Ingrid from Pitch Slapped of Berklee College of Music joined the group from season two. And rounding out the group is Johanna and Geena, two members of Divisi, the all-female a cappella group from The University of Oregon.

About Chloe

Hi there! My name's Chloe and I'm originally from New York but currently living in South County,  Rhode Island. I'm a freshman psychology major and a Non-Violence and Peace Studies minor at the University of Rhode Island. Although I am studying psychology, I have a real passion for musical theatre and performing and my ultimate dream would be to perform on Broadway one day. In my spare time, I like to read, sing, dance, shop, hang out with my friends, and have a good time. I am so excited to be a part of the Youth Council and happy to have the chance to get involved in helping out others!

Teens Sharing Online Passwords: Devotion or Dangerous?

by RO_Admin Friends, Relationships, Sexting

Is sharing your password with a boyfriend or girlfriend an expression of devotion or something you might later regret or both? The New York Times published this story about teenagers who share their passwords as a sign of trust. They reported that according to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, "30 percent of teenagers who were regularly online had shared a password with a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend. The survey, of 770 teenagers aged 12 to 17, found that girls were almost twice as likely as boys to share."

With teenagers growing up living so much of their social lives online, it's easy to see how this digital act of sharing a password can take on a deeper emotional meaning. That said, couples break up, sometimes badly, as do friendships. And the article does include a few cautionary tales of password sharing gone bad, resulting in cyberbullying or spying. It makes the case that the more adults tell teenagers not do to it, the more teenagers feel like it's something they want to do.

What do you think about sharing online passwords? Have you done it before? Do you regret it or would you do it again? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Also, check out our related fact sheets about assessing your relationship (before you do anything as trusting as sharing a password!), cyberbullying and how to survive an embarrassing event just in case you shared, and it went badly!

Photo by DLSimaging

Sex Ed Online And On Your Phone

by RO_Admin Health, Relationships

For most of us, if we want to know something about anything, we just Google it, right? That includes finding out info on sex that you want to know but maybe are embarrassed to ask someone. We saw this article in the New York Times about some different ways teenagers are getting answers to questions about sex from reliable sources (always a challenge to find when you're "Googling"!). We thought we would highlight some of the services mentioned, add a few others and point out some great fact sheets right here on ReachOut. Good information is out there, and we want you to get connected to it so you can make the positive choices when it comes to sex and sexuality.

ICYC (In Case You're Curious) - a way to text a question and get an answer from Planned Parenthood within 24 hours
Sex Etc. - Sex ed by teens for teens produced by The Answer Project
Bedsider.org - a site about birth control including SMS reminders from the Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy.
Scarleteen - sex ed for the real world
Dear Trevor - a way to email the Trevor Project with questions surrounding being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning
Teen Source - great resource for info on STDs, birth control and clinics in California

We also have a great collection of fact sheets about sex on ReachOut including:

A Girl's Guide to Sex Myths
A Guy's Guide to Sex Myths
Thinking About Having Sex
Losing Your Virginity

Where do you go when you have questions about sex?

Image by je@n

Which Home for the Holidays?

by RO_Admin Family

Today's guest post is from ReachOut Council member Chloe, who shares how she has been able to navigate the challenge of celebrating the holidays with divorced parents. Be sure to read her bio at the end of the post!

The holidays are all about spending quality time with your family and celebrating what it means to be together. Whether it's Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or any other holiday that you celebrate, the emphasis is on family time. But what do you do if you don't have the traditional “family portrait” to spend the holidays with? What if you, like many other kids and young adults around the United States and the world, come from a divorced home? What should be a peaceful and wonderful time of get-togethers and family dinners could become quite the stressful time of year. So what DO you do if the holidays force you to make a choice?

The holidays and, in turn the holiday dilemma, works a little bit differently in my life. Although you cannot technically be “half” of a religion, I consider myself half-Jewish and half-Christian, and here's why. My father's side of the family is Jewish celebrates the Jewish holidays. My mother's side of the family is Lutheran and celebrates the Christian holidays throughout the year. My personal belief system is more spiritual than religious, but I choose to take pride in where both of my families’ heritage and therefore, celebrate Jewish and Christian holidays.

The holiday struggle between family members is not an uncommon occurrence nowadays. Half of all marriages end in divorce, and those couples with children now force their children into making one of the toughest decisions that could ever be made; the choice between parents. How does one make a choice like that? I know from experience that there can be tons of stress and anxiety involved when the holidays are approaching.

Luckily for me, my father does not celebrate Christmas so that isn't an issue. Even more fortunate in my case, my mother and father still get along quite well, so they will celebrate together if necessary. But that isn't something that happens in many divorced homes. Making decisions around this time of year when it comes to family is super stressful, but I have learned a few things to help deal with the stress if you are in a similar situation.

Talk to your parents about your concerns. Hopefully they'll listen and help you come to a thought-out and fair decision on how to spend your holidays so no one looses out.

Consider spending one holiday (like Thanksgiving) with one family and one holiday (like Christmas) with the other. You can switch off each year.

Spend the holidays with a sibling. My sister and I, who is a few years older, have also talked about celebrating the holidays with just the two of us. We're still celebrating the holidays with family, but starting a new family tradition until we have families of our own.

Don’t lose sight of what the holidays are all about -- giving, loving, and cherishing those around you. Family is family, whether they're all under the same roof or living in multiple homes. Having your parents get divorced doesn't mean that you're not a family.

Related fact sheets:

When your parents break up
Holidays with your family
Step-families or new family units

If your parents are divorced or separated, how do you deal with the holidays?

About me:

Hi there! My name's Chloe and I'm originally from New York but currently living in South County,  Rhode Island. I'm a freshman psychology major and a Non-Violence and Peace Studies minor at the University of Rhode Island. Although I am studying psychology, I have a real passion for musical theatre and performing and my ultimate dream would be to perform on Broadway one day. In my spare time, I like to read, sing, dance, shop, hang out with my friends, and have a good time. I am so excited to be a part of the Youth Council and happy to have the chance to get involved in helping out others!

Photo by John 'K'

Understanding Depression: Sadness or Something More Serious?

by RO_Admin Mental Health, Moods

With the holidays right around the corner, there's a lot of pressure out there to be happy -- between the commercials and non-stop x-mas music, if you are feeling sad, you might feel like you're the only one with these feelings. You're not! And if you're worried you might be depressed, we thought this article by our Youth Council Member MacKenzie Hunter might help you sort through you're feelings and figure out whether it's just the holiday blues or something more serious. Be sure and read more about MacKenzie at the end of the post!

We all go through ups and downs in life. Feeling sad or "down in the dumps" from time to time is a typical human response to adversity. Many of us experience sadness after going through a tough time like losing a loved one, for example, or breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. We may also feel sad when we do not get along with those who are important to us, or when we do not perform as well as we hoped to in school or at work. Sometimes we may feel sad when the weather is gloomy, or dark. Other times we may feel sad for no apparent reason. Because it is impossible to avoid circumstances like these, we can all expect to experience sadness at some point throughout our life.

However, if feelings of intense sadness continue for weeks and begin interfering with other aspects of your life like work, school, or relationships, these feelings may be more than sadness. You may be struggling with Clinical Depression—a mental disorder that is more severe and longer-lasting than normal sadness.

What is Clinical Depression? Clinical Depression is state of sadness that has progressed to the point of being disruptive to a person’s social functioning and/or activities of daily living. According to the DSM-IV, a manual used to diagnose mental disorders, depression is present when someone has at least five of the following nine symptoms at the same time:

• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Believing that the situation will never get better and things will never change.


• Fatigue or loss of energy. Feeling lethargic and tired most of the day. Everyday tasks become very difficult and even unbearable to do.


• Difficulty concentrating or staying focused. Daily work tasks become difficult to complete or stay focused on.


• Difficulty remembering things.


• Insomnia (inability to sleep) or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping)


• Lack of interest or pleasure in almost all activities. No interest in any fun or social activities that used to be enjoyable.


• Recurring thoughts of death or suicide (not just fearing death)


• Unexplained aches and pains. Typically headaches, muscle aches, upset stomach, etc.


• Changes in appetite or weight. A change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.


• Self-loathing or strong feelings of worthlessness. Being overly critical of yourself, feeling good-for-nothing.


• Irritability or restlessness. Feeling agitated, easily unnerved, or on-edge.

The signs and symptoms of Depression vary from person to person, but these are the most prevalent indicators. Teens who have clinical depression describe their experiences as: "having trouble sleeping and controlling my emotions," "lay[ing] awake at night for hours waiting to either cry myself to sleep or for my brain to shut off," and "feeling worthless, like I didn't have anything to offer the world."

If you or someone you love is experiencing the symptoms listed above, you should start by seeking some professional help. A teen who shared her story about coping with depression on Reach Out suggests: "If you have depression or think you do then you need to tell someone because, if you don't, things could get a lot worse for you. You don't have to be afraid or embarrassed about depression. Many people get it. So, don't be like me and block others out. Talk to someone who you can trust and who you know will always be there for you forever."

Take time to explore the many treatment options, including therapy and medication, and decide which option (or combination of options) is best suited for you. Finding People to Help and Support You, a section of ReachOut.com, might be useful to explore. In this section you will find information about different types of mental health professionals, different types of treatment, what to expect in a first visit with a mental health professional, and information about depression.

Have you experienced clinical depression? If so, how did you get through it?

About Me:
Hi Everyone!  My name is Mackenzie.  I am twenty two years old and currently living and working in Kalamazoo, Michigan.  I studied Psychology and Sociology at Alma College and am now employed with a non-profit organization.  In my free time I like to go see live music, try new foods, and meet new people.  I love traveling and being immersed in different cultures. I have worked for ReachOut for about half a year now and am thrilled to contribute to such a hip, relevant, and friendly movement!

Photo by MattGrommes

‘Tis the Season of Resolutions

by RO_Admin Health

Today's guest blog post is from ReachOut Youth Council Member Catherine Cook about what she learned from running her first half marathon. Read more about Catherine in her bio at the end of the post.

It’s about that time of year again when people set tons of goals they don’t keep! But, you don’t have to be one of them. I recently ran a half marathon and have learned some valuable lessons about setting goals – and achieving them.

1) Set an attainable goal.

My goal was to run a half marathon. I started running in college in the middle of January. My new residence director was looking for running buddies to go on 7 a.m. runs with her at a 10 minutes per mile pace on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

We were going to go to the Kennedy Center and back (about 3 miles). During my first run, every inhale hurt. My lungs felt frozen in the cold air and my nose was running faster than I was. Nevertheless, Thursday came around and I was awake again. It soon became a habit to run every Tuesday and Thursday for the rest of the semester. As school wound down my senior year, I decided I wanted to train for the Philly half marathon after graduation.

2) Break down your goal into mini goals so that you can congratulate yourself along the way. During the summer, I came up with a training plan that would gradually increase my mileage. I had lots of little victories – my first 5k, my first 10k, my first 10k in under 60 minutes, etc. Two months before the race I had worked up to an 8 mile run. Of course the whole training experience wasn’t smooth sailing.

3) Don’t let unexpected setbacks trip you up. Unfortunately, my running shoes decided they had had enough. By the time I got around to buying and breaking in a new pair, my long runs were down to 5 miles. Then, I started traveling a lot for work and couldn’t fit in some of my training runs, and as it started to get colder, I started opting to stay under the covers and sleep. I got lazy and lost sight of my goal.

4) Surround yourself with friends and family members who believe in you. Five days before the marathon I told a friend about the upcoming race that weekend that I was nervous about, he told me not to do it. He said instead of getting up at 5 a.m. to run in the cold, I could just sleep. Sleeping is pretty much my favorite activity so this idea was quite alluring.

I told my boyfriend about this idea. He said that knowing me, I’d beat myself up about it for the next year if I didn’t do it. He promised to be at the finish line waiting for me. On the day before the race (Saturday), I got a call from my mom at 9:30 a.m. looking for me saying she was at the finish line. I was so happy that my mom had come all the way down to cheer me on! It was hard to break it to her that she had done the 2 hour drive on the wrong day and that the race was tomorrow.

5) Do it. On the day of the marathon I got up and ran. It was crazy seeing thousands of people who had given up their Saturdays to run for a few hours. As I ran I realized how encouraging all of the people on the sidelines were and it kept me going. Though my longest run of the last month had only been about 6 miles, I still had this strong feeling that I could do it. At mile 8, I was still feeling great and had developed an affinity toward lemon-lime Gatorade. By mile 10 though, I was hitting the wall. My ankles, knees, and hips throbbed with every step and my pace had slowed from a leisurely 10 minute mile to a sluggish 13 minute mile. Luckily, at mile 12, Mulan’s “Let’s get down to business” came up on my iPod. Disney music is super inspirational. I was totally amped to defeat the Huns by the time the song ended. As the finish line came into sight, I “sprinted” toward it and finished with a smile on my face.

I was only sore for about a day and a half and am already looking up my next race, and setting a new goal: to run a full marathon.

Have you ever set a goal you thought was unattainable and achieved it? How were you able to do it?

About me:
My name is Catherine, and I co-founded myYearbook.com with my brother Dave in 2005. I am responsible for some of the most important applications on myYearbook, including Causes and am dedicated to making myYearbook more engaging and helping build new features. Since I graduated from Georgetown as an OPIM and marketing major and psychology minor, I have been at myYearbook's office in New Hope, PA full-time. I like to write and am especially interested in ReachOut’s efforts to create awareness about youth mental health. As an avid runner, I am also passionate about initiatives focused on maintaining good health from stress relief to nutrition!

Running image by: kharied

Homeless For The Holidays: The Truth About Youth Homelessness

by RO_Admin Community, Recession, Unemployment

Today's guest post comes from Youth Council Member Jessica Moyeda who recently attended the National Runaway and Homeless Youth Conference in Portland, OR, to help promote ReachOut.

November is best known as the month during which we celebrate Thanksgiving.  The special time of year when we gather around the dinner table to gorge ourselves on turkey, stuffing (or dressing depending on your geography), and heaps of apple pie.  It is also meant to be a time in which we give thanks for the blessings that we are fortunate to have.  Can you think of some things you’re grateful for?  Is it your family? Your boyfriend/girlfriend? That new cell phone? 

Did any of you think of your home?  In truth, a lot of us take having a warm bed, a fridge full of food, and a roof over our heads for granted.

Coincidentally, November is also known for being National Homeless Youth Awareness Month - and last week was the National Runaway and Homeless Youth Conference in Portland, OR.  I had the privilege to attend this gathering of professionals and organizations, who are all dedicated to providing effective services to the country’s runaway and homeless youth.  I learned of the challenges as well as the myths that surround the increasing number of teens and young adults that are without a home, and am going to share some of my newfound knowledge below.

In all honesty before this conference my knowledge of homelessness was extremely limited; my experiences with this population were restricted to requests for spare change, serving a few Thanksgiving dinners, and handing out power bars near freeways.  Yet between visiting downtown Portland’s youth shelters, talking with multiple advocates, and hearing former homeless youth speak to this issue – it really hit me that a lot of homeless youth had never been given a proper chance to succeed or pursue their dreams.  Many, if not all, teens and young adults want to make a change in their lives, but most of the time they cannot do it alone.  They need support, opportunity, and hope – and shelters are instrumental in achieving this change.

The truth is that youth homelessness is an issue that doesn’t fit neatly into a pretty box.  Each experience, each story, each challenge is unique and deserves our attention.  Here are some of the facts that I took away from the conference:

• The National Alliance to End Homelessness, and even the federal government, estimates that there are 50,000 U.S. teens that “sleep on the streets” on any given day, but both organizations acknowledge that there may be as many as 2 million youth that are homeless throughout the year.


• Homelessness can take many forms: whether it be “couch surfing” with friends, hitching rides to new cities, living in public parks or spending nights at different shelters.


• The word runaway conjures images of a teenager rebelling against their overprotective parents or a lazy unwilling to work, but the reality is that there are often more serious reasons for a teen to leave their home. In fact, a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services study found that 46% of homeless youth escaped a home where they suffered physical abuse, while 17% left because of sexual abuse. Many homeless youth leave their residence after years of physical and sexual abuse, strained relationships, addiction of a family member, and parental neglect. Disruptive family conditions are the principal reason that young people leave home.


• The economy also has a hand in youth homelessness: families suffering from the financial crisis may experience unemployment, low wages, a lack of medical care, and ultimately an absence of affordable housing. When a family becomes homeless, children and teens are in a precarious living situation, and sometimes are even separated from their families.


• Additionally, 20 to 40 percent of homeless youth self-identify as LGBTQ – which is relatively high when you consider that about only 10 percent of the youth population are LGBTQ. This trend is often the result of abandonment or family conflict.


• Homeless youth are at a significantly higher risk for anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and suicide. This is largely due to an increased exposure to violence while living by themselves.

You may be asking yourself what can I do to help?

Ways To Help

Where can I learn more?

Homeless Research Institute

Homelessness Resource Center

How can we end youth homelessness?

Solutions & Best Practices

Community Solutions for Homelessness

Youth homelessness – like all homelessness – is a problem that can be solved. 

Do you have any experiences with youth homelessness?

Food for Thought: Understanding Eating Disorders

by RO_Admin Health, Mental Health

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, and food being a big issue for lots of young people, we wanted to post this interview we did with Dr. Raine Weiner, a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please check out our resource page at ReachOut.com/eatingdisorders. And if you’ve overcome an eating disorder and would like to share your story to encourage others, submit it online here. We also encourage you to check out Proud To Be Me, a new site for teens about body image created by the National Eating Disorders Association.

Reach Out: Can you clarify the difference between bulimia and anorexia?
Dr. Raine Weiner: Distinguishing between anorexia and bulimia can be quite confusing.  The symptoms of these two eating disorders often overlap.  Bulimia Nervosa involves repeated food binges followed by self-induced vomiting, laxative/diuretic abuse, restrictive dieting, and/or over-exercise.  Anorexia Nervosa occurs in people who refuse to maintain a healthy body weight.  They often starve themselves or severely limit their intake of food.   Anorexics obsessively fear gaining weight and often have a distorted self-image.  The similarities between anorexia and bulimia are in that those suffering from these illnesses spend enormous amounts of time thinking about food, weight, and body size.  With both eating disorders, people may use rigorous exercise, laxatives, food restriction, and diet pills in their attempts to control weight.  They tend to be highly critical of their bodies.  It is not uncommon for anorexics and bulimics to switch from one type of eating disorder to another or have symptoms of both, which sometimes makes separating the two illnesses virtually impossible. 

RO: What are some of the dangers of being anorexic or bulimic?
RW: Since bulimia involves consuming large amounts of food, self-induced vomiting, and/or laxative abuse, it is not surprising that severe health issues can result.  Vomiting can cause injury to the esophagus and the stomach lining.  Purging increases acidity in the mouth, causing the tooth enamel to erode.   Fasting and vomiting result in fluid and mineral loss which can lead to kidney stones and even kidney failure.  These imbalances can contribute to irregular heart rate and sudden death.    Laxative abuse can also cause mineral imbalances, dehydration, and constipation.  The digestive tract can be harmed with significant damage to the colon. 

The body needs food in order to function properly.  Therefore, given the long periods of starvation, there are many medical complications arising from anorexia.  For girls who have already started their periods, anorexia will usually cause amenorrhea (no periods).  The lack of nutrition also leads to anemia (iron deficiencies), dehydration (fluid loss), flaky skin, hair loss on the scalp, and hair increase on the arms/legs/torso.  Anorexics usually feel cold and their fingers can appear blue.  Since they don’t eat enough calories, they don’t think clearly or quickly.  The lack of calcium in their diets results in bone loss that can be permanent, leading to broken bones and curvature of the spine.  Starvation also can result in heart rate abnormalities and even death.

RO: How do problems with body image relate to eating disorders?
RW: One characteristic that is common to all eating disorders is poor and distorted body image.  People with eating disorders tend to be highly critical of their bodies.  In trying to change their appearance, they sometimes go to extreme measures.  We all know, however, that nobody is perfect.  No matter how we try to change our bodies, if we are unhappy with whom we really are, no number on the scale will ever be OK.   If you’re sad or anxious, it’s not really about your weight, even if it might feel like that’s the problem.  Think about what is going on in your life that’s making you upset.  Are there problems with friends?  Is something going on at home or with your family? Are you stressed out at school or work?  Maybe if you get some help with changing situations that make you unhappy, you’ll find your self-image and body-image will be more positive as well!

RO: Do you think the media has any influence over the prevalence of these disorders?
RW: The media has a huge affect on the prevalence of eating disorders. Television, magazines, music, art, fashion and almost everywhere you look, the emphasis is on thinness and weight loss.  How are we supposed to feel good when we are comparing ourselves with airbrushed and digitally enhanced photos of models who have personal trainers, chefs, fashion consultants, make-up artists, etc.?  We need more positive, realistic role models in the media and in our daily lives.

RO: What can people do if they have a friend or family member who is struggling with bulimia or anorexia?
RW: If you know someone with an eating disorder, the most important thing is to find the courage to say something to him or her.  People with eating disorders might deny their problems at first, but they will take in what you have to say, and one day this may lead toward seeking help.  Let them know how much you care and that you are concerned.  If the person you are worried about is a teen or young adult, don’t be afraid to tell an adult.  Don’t assume that his/her parents already know.  Very often, friends are the first ones who notice, and for college students, the parents might be far away and unaware.  If you are not sure what to say, call me or anyone at an eating disorders center close to you.  We get numerous calls from people trying to figure out what to say to their friend or relative.  Sometimes you just need some help with finding the right words.

RO: What are some of the biggest obstacles to recovery?
RW: There are many obstacles to recovery.  Perhaps the biggest is denial.  People with eating disorders often deny their problem.  Sometimes even families are unable to see that a loved one is suffering or they are ashamed they can’t fix the problem by themselves.  As a result, eating disorders continue to wear people down for a long time before treatment is sought.

Recovery is sometimes blocked or slowed because anorexics and bulimics tend to fear change and loss of control which they associate with letting go of their illness. They are terrified of gaining weight and living their lives without what feels like the “structure” and “comfort” of repeating their eating disordered patterns.  The resulting anxiety makes them less motivated for recovery.  It is only with great amounts of support and encouragement that the process of recovery can begin.  

Another obstacle to recovery is financial.  The recovery process can be a long one resulting in high costs for treatment.  Insurance companies have been reluctant to pay for this necessary treatment or only cover therapy for a minimal length of time.  Of course, many people do not have insurance coverage.  As a result, too many of them are not getting the help needed to work toward recovery.

RO: What can a person expect if he or she decides to seek help from a therapist?
RW: It can be a bit scary to seek help from a therapist.  However, it’s a lot less frightening once you get in the door, and we can really be warm and helpful.  You pick your friends, so you should pick your therapist.  Find someone with whom you feel a connection fairly early on in treatment.  Every client is different as is every therapist, so it’s hard to say exactly what to expect in therapy.  Chances are, your therapist will want to know why you came to therapy at this time.  He or she will also want to know about your family, friends, and general activities (work, school, etc.).  You’re always free to say whatever is on your mind.  If there’s a question you’re not ready to answer, that’s OK, too.  Over time, your therapist will help you understand why the eating disorder started in the first place and how to cope with stresses in your life in healthier ways as you work together through the recovery process.  He or she might also want you to get a check up from your doctor, see a nutritionist, or maybe even get involved in a group with other people in recovery.  Together you can work out what’s the best plan for you.  Once you’ve gotten used to the idea, it feels good having someone you can talk to about all those thoughts circulating in your head.   It takes courage to recover, and you won’t be alone in getting there.

What role does food play in your life? How do you maintain a healthy body image?

About Raine Weiner, PhD
Dr. Raine Weiner is a licensed clinical psychologist who graduated from the University of Michigan and received her doctorate from the California School of Professional Psychology in 1986. She ran a group home for emotionally disturbed adolescents in Los Angeles before moving her practice to Maryland in 1988. In 1991, she and Joan Hart, LCSW co-founded the Eating Disorders Center of Potomac Valley and Potomac Valley Psychotherapy Associates.

Top image by tollieschmidt

A Salute to Veterans

by Meredith Family, Mental Health

Today's guest post comes from Youth Council Member Jessica Moyeda in honor of Veteran's Day. 

This summer, at the Youth Council Summit, each YC member was challenged to create a personalized action plan. This was an opportunity to dictate the course of our involvement with ReachOut; when prompted to pursue topics about which we were passionate, I immediately thought of veterans.

Imagine this scenario: Your family decides to go out to their favorite local restaurant, and when you arrive your first thoughts are not of menu selections but of where the hostess will seat you. It must be in a corner, or at least along the wall – never in the middle of a room. You ask yourself, is there a clear view of the entrance from your table? What about the exits? Then you realize there are too many people in the restaurant because it is Friday and everyone has had the same idea as your family. You worry it is too noisy and now wonder if you should have just stayed home and cooked.

Some of you may chalk this scenario up to paranoia; others may think it is completely fictionalized. Yet I know there are those of you that have experienced this, or known someone who has these same thoughts.

This is a real scenario from my life, it is also a very narrow illustration of how the most normal situations can be turned upside-down by combat experiences. The hyper-vigilance, the sensitivity to noise and crowds of people are just some of the effects of my father’s Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and is something my family continues to grapple with on a daily basis. So, for me, it made sense that when I was asked to think of how I could contribute to ReachOut, I thought of helping our veterans.

On Veteran’s Day we are meant to give thanks to the men and women that have made tremendous sacrifices for our freedom. Did you know an estimated 11 to 20 percent of returning combat veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, but nearly half of today's young veterans will return home with a type of mental health condition (depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc.)? Stigma can also prevent service members from seeking help when they need it most.

So, what can you do if someone you love or know is experiencing some of these challenges?

1. Educating yourself is the single most important step in helping someone you love, because it prepares you for the challenges ahead. Knowledge is power, and in this case it may prompt you to show your support or lend a helping hand.

2. Listen and share. Each veteran experience - and their period of readjustment - is unique. Some may wish to talk and others may not. The important thing is that you express your support. A simple, “I love you and am here for you,” can go a long way. Your encouragement and willingness to listen or talk is a huge component in the readjustment period because it let’s them know you care and are committed to helping them in this transition.

3. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. If your friend or family member is experiencing some of these challenges, chances are you feel strained or tense and may even internalize some of their common stress reactions. Remember that your life has changed too, and it may be helpful just to talk with someone about these changes.

In closing, I’d like to leave you all with a few thoughts:

• It is 100 percent possible for you and your service member to be happy and healthy.
• It is a sign of maturity for you, or your service member, to admit needing assistance and take action.

On behalf of ReachOut.com, I would like to extend my thanks to all veterans for their service and sacrifice.

Source: Department of Veterans Affairs

Announcing The Reach Out Reelz Video Contest Winners!

by RO_Admin Mental Health, TV and Film

Today's guest blog is from Emily O'Brien, Inspire USA's youth programs manager about the recent ReachOut Reelz competition.

From July to October, The Inspire USA Foundation, in collaboration with AIR (American Institutes for Research), Youth MOVE and SAMSHA (The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration), hosted Reach Out Reelz, a short video contest. Youth from across the U.S. were invited to create a short video for the ReachOut.com website to help their peers to get through tough times and lead happier lives. Winning videos were selected based on their ability to convey a positive mental health message to young people. The winning videos will be showcased at the Youth MOVE National Federation of Families and Children Conference in Washington, DC, on November 18^th and 19^th 2011. Winning entrants also received prize money to purchase digital products and pursue their interests and talents in digital media.

Madison CARES Youth Group, from the Madison School District in Rexberg, Idaho, won 1st prize ($500) for their video “Make a difference, save a life.”  Madison Cares Youth Group’s video is a collection of student interviews. The messages from students remind the viewer that reaching out to others makes a big difference. Watch the 1st place video here!

Brandy Miller, a student at Lewis & Clark College, in Santa Maria, California, was awarded 2nd prize ($250) for her video ‘“Discover your opportunities.” Brandy’s moving video is about moving away from darkness to discover what fulfills you. Three young adults share what gives them fulfillment. Watch the 2nd place video here!

UMATTERR Kidsnet Douglas, from Cobb County Community Service Board in Smyrna, Georgia, was awarded 3rd prize ($100) for their video “Dreams.” In this video two teens' lives overlap to demonstrate how counseling, believe, and the support of friends can help you rise above a tough time. Watch the 3rd place video here!  

Please check out the other amazing entries as well:

Stephanie Garcia
A New Direction
Life The Journey
Optimism

Thanks to everyone who participated in the contest!

Don’t Be Afraid to Be Afraid

by RO_Admin Family, Mental Health

Today's guest post is from ReachOut Council member Zach. Given that Halloween is right around the corner, fear seemed like an appropriate emotion to address on ReachOut.  Zach is also managing the ReachOut Tumblr.

Before we begin, let’s talk about what fear even is. Fear is a natural response by the brain to the presence of a perceived threat. The fact is that fear is the trigger for one of the most innate and important human reactions, the “fight or flight” response. So fear is in no way a bad thing in and of itself. The problem is that so many of us fail to see its benefits.

For most people, myself included, our first reaction to fear is to decide that whatever is causing that fear is not worth pursuing. We see fear as a signal that the thing that is ahead of us is dangerous, and we should not desire it. But consider this: it has been proven that people who actively face their fears on average live happier lives than everyone else. So those who allow themselves to desire the very thing they are afraid of are happy. Seems pretty simple to me. But most of the population does not live this way. Why is that?

Because facing your fears is hard.

In fact just the thought of facing your fears is terrifying. At least it is for me. That’s the crazy thing about fear, it prevents us from acting just through its existence. But that’s what makes it so satisfying when you take a chance. You defeat two fears through one action! Every time I’ve taken a risk and done something I was afraid to do I was glad I did*.  It didn’t always turn out the way I wanted it to, but I was always glad I did it. In fact, the best times of my life have been the results of actions I took in defiance of my fears. So really, doesn’t this emotion tell us that what we desire is worthwhile? It is not a bad thing to be afraid, how else do we know that we are on the precipice of something great?

This was not a lesson that I learned easily. I have never been very close with my parents, emotionally. I know that I love them, and I’ve always known that they will be there for me, but until a few years ago I never, EVER, talked to them about my feelings. I was terrified of letting them know anything, and to this day I have no idea why. It was an irrational fear, one which was based on no prior experiences. And for 15 years, it didn’t pose much of a problem. There were the occasional fights that went unresolved, but really nothing negative came of it. But one day I just started to feel sad, for no real reason. And before I knew it, I felt like I was drowning. I knew that I needed to get into therapy and start taking anti-depressants, but in order to do that I would have to let my parents know that I was depressed. I would have to talk to them about my feelings, and to me that was the scariest thought in the world. I started to call in sick to work because I couldn’t force myself to get out of bed.

Finally, I called in sick so much that they had no choice but to let me go. This was my wake up call. After that happened I realized that if I was to make any positive changes in my life, I had to face my fear and talk to my parents. Honestly it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and I wasn’t able to do it instantly. I talked myself up, I talked to my friends about it, I read every article I could get my hands on in order to get the courage to get the help I needed. But let me tell you, when I finally did it, I immediately felt a weight lift from my shoulders. It was incredible. And afterwards, I really didn’t understand what I was so afraid of. My parents were understanding and got me help as soon as they could. I realized I really had no reason to fear it in the first place. I think that’s the case with most fears. Once we face them we realize how silly they really are. And you know what? Ever since I talked about my feelings with my parents that first time, it’s been easier every single time.

October is always filled with frightening images and stories and haunted houses. It is the month of spooky movies and scary stories. So here is my challenge to all of you: face at least one of your greatest fears this month. Don’t let it control you anymore, take control of it. Because no matter how it turns out, you will know that you own your life. And trust me, once you do it for the first time, all the other times become much easier! And when you’re done, don’t forget to submit your story to ReachOut!

*Let me take a moment to clarify this: take healthy risks. Don’t take risks that endanger your well-being, or that of anyone you know. Not sure what I mean? Not sure what is a healthy risk and what isn’t? Check out this fact sheet on risk taking.

What are you most of afraid of and what has helped you to conquer your fears?

Photo by Zoe

Interview: Ryann Redmond, aka ‘Bridget’ in ‘Bring It On: The Musical’

by RO_Admin Interviews, Music

Today's guest post is from ReachOut Council member Chloe, interviewing performer Ryann Redmond, who is currently playing the role of Bridget in the national tour of "Bring It On." This is the latest in a series of interviews Chloe has been doing for ReachOut with members of the Broadway community about how they have gotten through a tough time. Also, check out Chloe's bio at the end!

Chloe: How long have you been performing for?

Ryann: I’ve been performing since I was about thirteen, right when I was going into eighth grade in middle school.

Chloe: What inspired you to pursue a career as a performer/artist?

Ryann: Well I started doing Broadway Dreams [workshops] as a student about seven years ago. I auditioned that day and one of the founders, Adam Hunter, really saw something and that was the one thing I needed. He was like 'Oh, you could be in the Hairspray movie and you could do this, and do that..' and I thought 'Alright, well if he thinks I could do this, then I think I could do this as a career.'

Chloe: Who in your life do you look up to? Why?

Ryann: Annette [Tanner] is someone that I definitely look up to and admire because she’s been there for me throughout this whole process and me starting to work professionally. She’s been my number one fan aside from my mother, who I also look up to. I come from a family of six kids, so it hasn’t been the easiest to pay for lessons and things like that, but those two people have always supported me and made it work no matter what. Professionally, I think anyone who’s working on Broadway right now. I want to be a working actress and be able to do this and not anything else. And of course the greats, like Patti LuPone and people like that.

Chloe: In your career/personal life, describe a tough time or personal struggle that you’ve gone through.

Ryann: I haven’t gone through any tough times in my career yet, but in middle school, I was definitely the bigger girl and got made fun of for being fat, but I think that has really formed who I am right now. I am so sarcastic and can brush anything off and am always the class clown, and am also very confident in my body and very happy with what I’ve got. A lot of times people say that things like that will translate into the theatre world because it’s so focused on a “type” or a “look.” I was prepared for “You know you’re not going to be the ingenue or the leading lady,” and I am completely fine with that. I love being the character actress, I love being the comedic relief. With “Bring It On,” which is the show that I’m about to go on tour with, that’s what I am, and it’s like a dream come true.

Chloe: Who/what helped you get through your tough times?

Ryann: My mom definitely. She’s always taught me to hold my head up high and keep going. Once I started doing theatre, I really broke out of my shell like crazy. It was clear that I was supposed to be on stage and I just ham it up and that’s somewhere where I could just be myself with all of the theatre “geeks.” At the same time, I played some softball so I kind of saw both sides. Once high school came along, everything was great. I just really dug deep into theatre, and I had a great theatre program in high school and wonderful director and that’s where I spent pretty much all of my time.

Chloe: What message would you send to others trying to get through tough times?

Ryann: Well, there’s really no way to not be cliche. You can’t worry about what other people are saying because you’re here for a reason and you’re supposed to be who you are and no one can change that, so why not embrace it? Do your own thing.

What has helped you break out of your shell and come into who you really are?

About Ryan
Ryann Redmond can currently be seen on the National Tour of Bring It On the Musical playing the role of Bridget. She was lucky enough to originate this role in the reading, workshop and Atlanta World Premiere. Ryann attended NYU Tisch's CAP21 Studio. NY Credits: NYU Reality Show at Madison Square Gardenand Radio City Music Hall, The Daughters at Joe's Pub, and various productions at NYU. Ryann could not be happier to be on the road with such an amazing show with the best cast and creative team around!

About Chloe
Hi there! My name's Chloe and I'm originally from New York but currently living in South County,  Rhode Island. I'm a freshman psychology major and a Non-Violence and Peace Studies minor at the University of Rhode Island. Although I am studying psychology, I have a real passion for musical theatre and performing and my ultimate dream would be to perform on Broadway one day. In my spare time, I like to read, sing, dance, shop, hang out with my friends, and have a good time. I am so excited to be a part of the Youth Council and happy to have the chance to get involved in helping out others!

Inspire Yourself

by Meredith Mental Health, School, TV and Film

This summer Inspire USA, the Bay Area Video Coalition (BAVC) Factory program for teen filmmakers made four short films that were unlike any others you will see on this site, and possibly anywhere else. These films were the result of local San Mateo County residents whose courage, resilience and giving allowed them write and produce films together, to help others get through tough times they have experienced, but know can be overcome: Inspire Yourself

Earlier this year, we asked teens and young adults in San Mateo County California to write a story about what got them through a tough time. These stories were turned into films by graduates of the BAVC Factory program, a summer-long film making intensive course that gives teen filmmakers the resources, experience and expertise to make top-notch videos. What's better is that all the videos are made for non-profits doing great work in their own local or national communities. After the stories were collected, the filmakers wrote scripts that preserved the stories and breathed them into moving films, like "Write it Out" above. We owe a massive thanks to the folks in San Mateo County for funding this project. We also could not have pulled it off without our 3 filmakers Raymundo Archila, Fifer Garbesi and ReachOut Youth Council member Lauren Lindberg and to Jason Jakaitis & Ewen Wright at BAVC for producing these films with us. If you liked the videos, please leave a comment on our Youtube videos showing your support!

On Saturday, August 27, the stories were screened at the Pacific Film Archive to a crowd of hundreds of teens, young adults and the usual assortment of creative, inspiring people found hanging around BAVC. It was great to see these films get their due props and for Fifer, Lauren and Raymundo to be recognized as the insightful and promising artists that they are.

This was my last project working as Inspire staff, and I will never forget the help of Christina Vo ("Getting Perspective"), Louvenia at Canyon Oaks Youth Center and Katherine at the YAIL/CAMINAR program in Redwood City for their support and role in encouraging local youth to participate in this project. Anastasia Goodstein, our rocking, non-stop and generous Director of Digital Programs was also invaulable (as were the many lessons you helped me learn along the way!). Till the next episode!

What do you think of these interpretations of real stories submitted to ReachOut.com? How might you be able to help someone else with what you have learned?

Perfection Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

by Meredith Friends, School

Today's guest post is from our former summer intern and current Youth Council Member, Rasika Behl, who wanted to share an inspiring story about seeing past difference and celebrating people for who they are. Read more about Rasika at the end of the post!

“She's ‘a real sweetheart,’ well-liked, and incredibly spirited…someone who's a cheerleader, not necessarily in the conventional sense, but...always positive and filled with school spirit, an all-around great student, as well as a friend to and fan of her peers.”

Who is she? Mariah Slick, a high school senior who was just crowned homecoming queen in Azle, Texas, as described by her fellow students. What’s the big deal, you ask? Why is this homecoming queen special?  Well, although Mariah seems just like any other teenager, there is one difference: she has Down’s Syndrome.

As much as I’d to pretend that Mariah and others like her are looked at no differently than any of the rest of us, or that having “special needs” changes nothing because we all should be treated and looked at equally, unfortunately, that is not always the case.  In a world that places so much emphasis on perfection, be it physical appearance, academics, or behaving a certain way in order to fit in, people with “special needs” or those who are seen as “different” are often treated unfairly and rejected or isolated.  I remember witnessing that myself in high school—certain students were unfairly picked on and mistreated because of some arbitrary “difference” that, looking back, seems so ridiculous now.  I mean, we’re all different…isn’t that the whole point?

I’ve always been a firm believer of the idea that it is what’s on the inside that counts. I love this quote I found online inspired by Dr. Martin Luther King -- paraphrasing: I believe that what matters is “the content of your character…the ambitions that drive you…the goals that you set…the things that you laugh at and the words that you say. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but for the volume of the soul it carries.”

I guess that’s why Mariah’s story made me smile; for once, the focus was on the beauty of her good heart, the big smile on her face, and her shining personality.  Never mind the fact that she’s also beautiful on the outside—for once, no one cared.  

There’s so much pressure to be perfect in high school—perfect looks, perfect clothes, perfect grades…but what is perfection really?  We all have this image of what we think we should be, but what if, cliché as it may sound, we just started truly accepting ourselves for who we are and calling that perfection?  After all, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder…well, maybe so is perfection.

The Art Of Losing

by RO_Admin Mental Health

Today's guest post is from our development manager, Christina Vo, who recently lost her apartment in a fire. We asked her if she would write a post about her experience since so many young people deal with loss from circumstances beyond their control. Whether it's the sudden death of a loved one or losing a home due to fire or tornadoes or flooding or even foreclosure, loss is something we all grapple with at some point.

One of my favorite poems was written by Elizabeth Bishop and it's called One Art.

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

This poem became even more important to me over the past week when I've been dealing with the temporary loss of my apartment, which was destroyed because of a fire.

We were lucky - nobody was hurt and we were able to salvage most of our personal items. The upstairs neighbors weren't as fortunate since they lost many of their personal belongings.

I've thought about loss a lot and how to deal with a loss - whether the loss involves a person, a physical place or even something simple, yet comforting, like our personal belongings. I loved the new apartment that I was staying in and enjoyed the company of my new flatmates. It truly felt like we were building a home together, and, then, it was gone - so quickly. The very foundation that I stood on was no longer there for me.

But, as with everything in life, there are lessons to be learned and strength to be amassed from trying situations. We all deal with loss differently and for me, my initial reaction was to "do," meaning that I was frenetically working on all the details trying to figure out where we were going to live, contacting the post office to hold our mail and working to get out the remainder of our belongings.

I stayed up late at night worrying about what was going to happen to us, the newly 'displaced' tenants, trying to figure out how we would find temporary accommodation in this tight rental market. After a few days of physical and emotional exhaustion, I let myself actually feel the loss. This was an important moment for me, because even though I do believe we can master the art of loss, as implied by Elizabeth Bishop's poem, I believe it's important to feel a loss, to mourn a loss and then to find productive ways to move forward.

It's taken me a long time to acknowledge the importance of feeling. When I suffered big losses when I was younger, I plowed forward without thinking or feeling, and the loss that I didn't mourn would come back to haunt me in different ways. I guess, the important thing to remember is that we'll always get past any loss, we'll always grow stronger from the experience, but there's also nothing wrong with allowing yourself to fully feel in the moment of loss.

The lessons of loss will be even brighter and clearer in the future, I'm sure of it.

Photo by Nick Boyer

Have you experienced a big loss recently? What helped you get through it?

Interview: Annette Tanner, Executive Director, Broadway Dreams Foundation

by RO_Admin Interviews

Today's guest post is from ReachOut Council member Chloe, interviewing Annette Tanner, Executive Director, Broadway Dreams Foundation. This is the second in a series of interviews Chloe is conducting with folks in the Broadway community about what's gotten them through a tough time. Also, check out Chloe's bio at the end!

Chloe: How did you get started working in the performing arts field?

Annette: Out of school in New Zealand, I went to film school and I always thought that I wanted to act, but as soon as I got there, I realized I wasn't that good at it. I could tell talent much better than I was at actually acting so I went into casting from film school.

Chloe: What made you want to become involved/ create a foundation like Broadway Dreams?

Annette: I think that there have been many moments throughout the course of seven years where I've asked myself “Why am I doing this?” because the arts don't pay particularly well and there's lots of struggles and doors that close. But along with those moments, there have been plenty where I have seen someone's life change, and I know that I'm making a big difference in somebody's life, and it's those moments that just inspire me all of the time. What we do is not something that I see people trying to do. I know there are plenty of classes out there but [Broadway Dreams] is much more than that. It's just so rewarding over and over again.

Chloe: Who in your life, both personally and professionally, do you look up to and why?

Annette: I look up to Quentin Earl Darrington after this summer as a teacher. I find him one of the most inspirational human beings there is. I remember sitting in a classroom and thinking “If he ran for president, and I could vote, I would vote for him.” I believe in him; he does everything for the right reasons. He is a real inspiration for me. I'm also inspired by a lot of the students. It's not always that kid who comes in, and I know they're going to go on and have a career, it's those who come back year after year and a year later I can see that they've really worked hard at classes. I'm inspired by them because no matter where they go, that perseverance and commitment is so exciting, and I am just constantly inspired by different people.

Chloe: What is your favorite thing about being a part of this organization?

Annette: Wow, there's many, but I think “Who gets to hear great voices and get to be a part of a creative process like this and that's their job?!”, that's my favorite thing. I often think that I should be paying to do this job rather than being paid.

Chloe: In your career or your personal life, describe a tough time or personal struggle that you’ve dealt with.

Annette: I was adopted, so dealing with that was rough. Finding my real mother and a whole bunch of other brothers and sisters and knowing where you fit in and feeling not part of any one family is a lot. Even though I am, it's something that psychologically goes on in your life. I think that's why Broadway Dreams feels like a family in a way. People just come in and we form bonds and I think a lot of that comes from my own history. I want people to feel like they're a part of something, I genuinely believe in that.

Chloe: Who/what helped you get through your tough times, both in your career and in your personal life?

Annette: I think it's always come down to support of other people. Genuine relationships. You know Chloe, all that really matters in life is love and really caring about others, that is the absolute most important thing. One thing I think in this field is learning that it's never about you, and always about others; it gives you so much more in your life. I don't know if it's any one person, I think it's always evolving. But I will say that there are people who have been in my life for many years. Dave Barrus, who is one of the founders of Broadway Dreams also, he's been in my life for over 20 years and he has always supported me and vice versa.

Chloe: What message or advice would you send to those who are either looking to get into performing or are just trying to deal with tough times?

Annette: At Broadway Dreams, we have a lot of kids who come in and are dealing with personal struggles. It used to be a lot of the time being involved in musical theatre, you were often the odd kid out. You were a freak in some ways, especially kids who are dealing with their sexuality. When you see people from all over the country with the same belief and work as a support system, it's incredible. Broadway Dreams is a safe place, it's a place where you know you can realize your dreams. I've had kids come in and tell me that their teachers told them “You can't dance because you're too fat." Really? That's horrible. But there are people out there who are supportive and have been there, it's incredible. There is so much support from the mentors and it builds so much confidence in kids, not only in theatre but in general. The arts education portion we are taking out of schools is destroying the caliber of human beings. If you are desperate and depressed and life is getting you down, what do you do? Put on a song. There's something that's arts related that you go to. We have to got to keep that going. I know that to be true.

I think the most important thing that I want kids to take away from this are the words “I can.” We are so often told that we can't. Our students are often those kids in the back of the room that you're not giving a second thought to that with the right training and motivation and support, they persevere, and that's what most excites me. When people realize that their dreams can come true. I always say that every day, someone in your peer group is giving up. If you don't give up and keep going and do everything that you need to in order to make it happen, wherever you land will be much higher than you ever truly envisioned. Just keep going, don't give up. I think “I can” is where I would say we give the most.

What's your dream and what are you doing to realize it?

About Chloe
Hi there! My name's Chloe and I'm originally from New York but currently living in South County,  Rhode Island. I'm a freshman psychology major and a Non-Violence and Peace Studies minor at the University of Rhode Island. Although I am studying psychology, I have a real passion for musical theatre and performing and my ultimate dream would be to perform on Broadway one day. In my spare time, I like to read, sing, dance, shop, hang out with my friends, and have a good time. I am so excited to be a part of the Youth Council and happy to have the chance to get involved in helping out others!

About Annette Tanner
Annette is one of the four founders and the executive director of the organization Broadway Dreams Foundation. BDF is a traveling performing arts training program that brings aspiring performers one step closer to their Broadway dream. With a faculty made up of todays biggest Broadway stars, casting directors, choreographers and agents dedicated to giving back to the theatrical community, the organization provides invaluable training to anyone who aspires to a career in musical theater. The programs are varied and exciting and our faculty passionate and knowledgeable. Former students are currently performing in Broadway shows and are attending the very best Musical Theater programs through out the country.

Reaching Out On Tumblr

by RO_Admin Community, Online Networks

Today's blog post is from Zach, one of our Reach Out Council members, who also inspired us to create a ReachOut Tumblr. Read more about Zach at the end of his post!

The idea of creating a Tumblr for ReachOut first came to me two months ago at the Youth Council summit in San Francisco. While attempting to figure out a way to help this organization individually, I realized that one of my talents is the internet.

To some, using the word internet as a verb may seem strange, to others, it is as commonplace as using the word texting. Either way you see it, to me using the internet is a skill that I hold very dear. So needless to say when I was told to work on starting our Tumblr, I was excited to finally be able to apply my abilities to help a place which I feel very close to.

Fast forward two months, and here I am, running half of the posts you can find on our Tumblr. I never once thought that I would be able to take an idea like this and run with it the way I have. But that’s part of what makes ReachOut so good at what it does, they allow us as Youth Council members to use our ideas to carry out their mission.

The opportunity I have been given to help run the page has been incredible. If I’m having a bad day all I have to do is look at our page, and the quotations and videos and inspirational stories provide the best pick-me-up I could ask for. So when I say that following us will be beneficial to you, I’m not just saying that so I will be able to boast about having more followers or reblogs or likes. I’m saying it because all of you, from those who feel sad occasionally to those who struggle with severe depression and other mental health issues every single day, our Tumblr is a place of support and comfort, where you can go whenever you need to be reminded that you are not alone. On top of that, Tumblr is a community itself. If you reach out to people on this site, they will reach back. So, as a friend, I urge you to check it out.

If you have a Tumblr, give us a follow using the link below. If you don’t, it’s easy to pick up and even easier to create, so hop on and give us a follow, as well.

ReachOut’s Tumblr: http://reachoutusa.tumblr.com/

About Zach
Hey everyone! My name is Zach, and I’m originally from Wichita Falls, Texas but I’ve lived in Plano, Texas for the past 11 years. I’m currently a second year Economics major at The University of Texas at Austin. I love sports, more specifically basketball, and spend most of my spare time watching or playing it. I also love music, of all genres, and I don’t go anywhere without my ipod. When I was 7 years old I was diagnosed with depression, and I’ve been dealing with it ever since. But I’ve learned so much from it, and now I want to use my experiences to help others who are struggling. I’m very laid back, and I don’t like to dwell on the little things. I like to have a lot of friends, and I’m open and honest with people I trust. Hopefully I can contribute to making this great organization even better!

Bassnectar: $/Basshead Competition

by Meredith Community, Mental Health

If you like music with massive amounts of bass, crazy sound effects and hyper-adrenalized lyrics--you may already know about Bassnectar, an electronic music producer/DJ who performs sold out shows all over the country (we got to see Lorin from Bassnectar at Bonnaroo!). If you dig ReachOut, you should definately get to know him! Get over to Bassnectar's site to vote for ReachOut.com to win up to $25,000 dollars from ticket proceeds in his $/BH (Dollar per Basshead) competition. To vote, click on the right arrows on the home page until you get to the voting page (page 4). This is a HUGE opportunity for ReachOut.com so, if you've ever thought about doing something to help---VOTE NOW!

What is $/BH?

"For every person who attends a Bassnectar event or show, we donate $1 to nonprofit organizations in an effort to encourage giving, and to promote a strong, informed, empowered community. This concept is meaningful to us because it gives us an opportunity to come together and truly make a positive difference in the world. Here is how it works:

1. We collect and donate one dollar for every ticket sold, and send it to Air Traffic Control, a non profit organization that helps artists optimize their opportunities for social contribution.

2. Every time the Bass Bank reaches a minimum of $50,000 we will present 3 different organizations that are doing amazing things to empower education, health, or community. You can learn about the organizations, what they do and how, and see how you can get involved if you are interested. This is not only a great way to give back, but it is also an awesome way to meet new friends, and to explore life OUTSIDE of the party.

3. We hold a vote at bassnectar.net to place the organizations in order of preference.

4. The organization with the most votes will receive $25,000, the runner up will receive $15,000 and the third finalist will receive $10,000." via bassnectar.net

Justin Bieber has a charity too. Why should I care about $/BH?

Firstly, $ per Basshead is driven by fans. The initiative isn't a charity per say: it's a way to get a community of like-minded people to support worthwhile work -- as it seems important to them. It also lets bassnectar choose new organizations that are making impact in new ways, every year.

Lorin from Bassnectar got in contact with ReachOut.com and consulted with staff several times before accepting ReachOut.com as a worthy organization for his cause. The Bassnectar team have also agreed to distribute ReachOut swag to some 60,000 anticipated concert goers. If you're going to Bass Center 3 look for anybody wearing a ReachOut Tee or if you are going to any of the other stops on his tour, look for goodies from RO! Basically, Lorin (aka Mr. Bassnectar) is an individual who is committed to using his music to help others and making an lasting impact in the world.

Photos by Dave Vann

Are you a bass head? Is making a lasting positive impact in the world important to you?

Interview: Rebecca Faulkenberry, Broadway Actor on “Rock Of Ages”

by Meredith Interviews

Guest Post today from ReachOut Council member Chloe, interviewing Rebecca Faulkenberry, Broadway actor and singer and lead of the NYC production of Rock of Ages. This is the first in a series of interviews Chloe is making with performers on Broadway about what's gotten them through a tough time. Also, check out Rebecca's and Chloe's bio at the end!

Chloe: How long have you been performing?

Rebecca: I did my first show when I was seven years old in Bermuda, that’s where I grew up. It was at the city hall; I played Molly in “Annie”. I did every community show from then on that I could do until I left Bermuda, and did it for years in school when I majored in [theatre] in college.

Chloe: What inspired you to pursue a career as a performer?

Rebecca: It was just something I was always doing. I watched a lot of musicals when I was younger. Cannon Video had these musical fairytales that they made that had Amy Irving and Christopher Walken in them, and I watched those from when I was about 3 or 4, and then I started to watch The Sound of Music and Peter Pan. I think from all of those I just loved dressing up and singing and performing. It kind of came from all of that probably, but it was just something I was always doing.

Chloe: Who in your life, either professionally or personally, do you look up to or admire and why?

Rebecca: I don’t really have one particular actress that I put as my goal to be like but there are incredible actresses who I admire. Kate Winslet and Cate Blanchett are incredible actresses. Vocally, I love Brian Stokes Mitchell and Audra McDonald. There’s not anyone I really try to emulate, but I love anyone who can do a musical and put across a believable character. I think having proper acting in the context of a musical is often so overlooked. As far as a broad career, anyone who can have a family and an actual life outside of their job. It takes a lot to say “No, I’m going to take a vacation and see my friends” because you just want to be here all of the time and be able to audition for anything, so it takes a lot to balance that all.

Chloe: Describe a tough time or personal struggle that you’ve dealt with.

Rebecca: There have been a couple times during this where I have been really poor and that’s always hard because you can’t pay your bills or your rent, and the last thing you want to do is call your parents and ask for help. And there’s a lot of upkeep you need to do; you need to go to classes and stuff is this is something that you want to continue doing, so it’s a struggle. I’ve been very fortunate that two or three months is the longest that I’ve gone without work, but it’s still hard. In my personal life, I dealt with all of the normal teenage stuff.

I had really pretty friends so I never had the boyfriends, and when I was fifteen and sixteen years old, I was somewhat awkward looking...And when I was young I got bullied for a while. It used to bother me but I was so determined that I didn’t really care; I always said to myself “I’m gonna go away and get really famous and really pretty and you’re all gonna wish that you were my friend”, but that’s just negative energy that’s not worth holding onto. I had so many activities that I didn’t socialize as much because I was so busy all of the time.
Chloe: Who/what helped you get through your tough times, both in your career and in your personal life?

Rebecca: Myself and my parents, I have a really great support system. My mom always told me to ignore them and ignore what they were saying, but I wish that I had stuck up for myself a little more. Also the arts, singing and acting and just having a goal of what I wanted to do, and that was my big plan so it didn’t really matter what was going on. I have like two or three really close friends. You don’t need tons and tons of friends or to be really popular. You need the people who you know are there for you and that’s what most important. That’s all I needed, a few really close friends and my goal.

Chloe: What message or advice would you send to those who are either looking to get into performing or are just trying to deal with tough times?

Rebecca: It will be alright; it all gets better. When I was going through a tough breakup and I was crying and sobbing and thought it was going to be the end of the world, my mom’s friend just said “Listen, you’re going to be alright and there’s going to be a point your life when this is not going to matter”, and she was right. So whenever things are horrible and I don’t have a job, I just tell myself that tomorrow, it’s all gonna be fine and I won’t feel so bad.

Everyone gets rejected, it’s a part of trying to do something big and trying to accomplish something and it’s not the easy way. It’s hard, that’s why it’s something that not a lot of people get to do, so nothing comes easily. If you’re having struggles with others, don’t stay within yourself. Seek out other people, but just be smart. If there’s someone who’s really cool and you therefore want to hang out but doesn’t treat you right or make you happy, don’t be friends with them and let them treat you that way. It’s just negative energy. Some people have a positive energy and bring good things into your life and uplift you, and others are negative. Even if you find yourself drawn to them, like a girl drawn to the “bad boy,” they won’t be a positive impact on your life and that’s okay. Focus on what’s good in your life and the positive.

What helps keep you positive? Have you ever had dreams of acting or performing on stage?

About Rebecca
Bermuda native Rebecca Faulkenberry is joining the Broadway company straight from the first national tour of Rock of Ages. Theatre credits include Aunt Dan and Lemon (Royal Court, West End); High School Musical 1 (Hammersmith Apollo, West End) and 2 (Fox Theatre); The Shape of Things (RADA); The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (West Yorkshire Playhouse); The Royal Family, Slow Dance With a Hot Pickup, Smoke on the Mountain. TV/film; “Doctors” (BBC1). This is her Broadway debut.

About Chloe
Hi there! My name's Chloe and I'm originally from New York but currently living in South County,  Rhode Island. I'm a freshman psychology major and a Non-Violence and Peace Studies minor at the University of Rhode Island. Although I am studying psychology, I have a real passion for musical theatre and performing and my ultimate dream would be to perform on Broadway one day. In my spare time, I like to read, sing, dance, shop, hang out with my friends, and have a good time. I am so excited to be a part of the Youth Council and happy to have the chance to get involved in helping out others!

Do Something Awards 2011: Finalists, Celebrities Inspire Action

by Meredith

Guest post today from ReachOut Council Member Jessica. Don't forget to tune in to VH1 for the DoSomething Awards 5pm PT/8pm CT/9pm ET and read Jessica's bio at the end!

This past Sunday was the taping of the Do Something Awards ceremony, honoring five young people who have already done so much to help others. Each finalist shared their story with the audience, describing the motivation behind their efforts. Within the first fifteen minutes of the event I became teary-eyed: the first finalist had created The American Widow Project, a resource for widowed spouses of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and as the daughter of a veteran I felt a deep connection with the military families who are so desperately in need.

While the ceremony is a unique mix of activism and pop culture that honors the finalists as well as celebrities, it is also so much more. Sitting in midst of such inspirational individuals made me want to jump out of my seat and set out to change the world, never mind the fact that it was 10 pm on a Sunday night or that I was wearing a dress with semi-uncomfortable high-heeled shoes.

I guess that is one of the amazing things about the Do Something Awards, it has the power to motivate and instill in everyone the idea that one person can bring about positive change. I’m so grateful that I was able to have this experience, because it reaffirmed the potential that I see in myself and the potential that I know we all have inside of us.

What inspires you to be a change agent? Does seeing celebrities involved with charities motivate you to do more?

About Jessica
Jessica was born and raised in southern California and currently live in the LA area. She recently graduated from the College of William & Mary in Virginia with a degree in political science and history. She is currently employed at an environmental consulting non-profit organization and is extremely dedicated to social causes as well as ecological ones. In her spare time she loves to read, cook (or at least try), attempt crossword puzzles, spend time with her siblings, eat copious amounts of peanut butter, watch obscure foreign films and experience new foods, places and cultures. She joined the ReachOut Council because it allows her the opportunity to help teens and young adults. She believes ReachOut.com is a powerful resource for young people, providing a network of understanding and supportive peers who are able to give comfort and relief.

Unschooling: Where Students Are The Teachers

by Meredith

"The students are the teachers" -- This may not be a phrase you have heard often in school, but in the comedy "Accepted," it is the most important phrase at the "unschool" South Harmon Institute of Technology. In the film, a group of high school seniors, who were rejected from colleges they applied to, create their own educational insitution where students are encouraged only to learn about what they are interested in and to teach other students what they care about. The film plays out a lot of adult stereotypes about young people "being left to their own devices"--students teach each other Party 101 and pick-up lines, along with carpentry and skateboarding. Movie humor aside,  "unschooling" is becoming popular as a real solution to raising children outside of the traditional educational environment. 

What is unschooling?

The term unschooling refers to a belief that young people learn more from natural life experiences--like playing, social interaction, and work responsibilities--than a curriculum or "external" force of education. Teachers at "unschools" encourage students to pursue activities by themselves or in groups, do not use a grading/testing system, but will take supportive roles in a student's self-motivated learning (like teaching you how to research a subject or get the materials you need to teach yourself).

Many famous artists and other creative people are self-taught: they are motivated to learn about something that isn't necessarily being taught to them or maybe something no-one has done before. Even in technical jobs like chemistry or medicine, the interest and motivation to learn something new and the benefit of being able to think "outside of the box" is often the driving force behind what someone does with their life. The quest for knowledge is a personal one, but self-motivated learning may be easier for some to begin with than others.

Learning to learn

Sometimes what seems most important for us to understand is not a desire shared by the people we know and care about. This could be a spiritual journey, the entire contents of the Harry Potter saga or simply learning how to build a bicycle. Striking out on your own can be challenging and stressful but taking the steps to educate yourself can make it less difficult. Here are some tips for motivating yourself to learn something new:

Develop a goal - I like to use the SMART system when developing personal goals. It's a way of asking yourself the right questions about how to accomplish something.  Let's say I just saw My Morning Jacket shredding at Bonnaroo this summer, and they inspired me to learn electric guitar in 6 months. I would break down my goal by asking myself these questions:

• Is it Specific? "Learning the guitar" is a pretty big task. More specific would be: learn how to play all the songs on the album Circuital by My Morning Jacket
• Measurable? There are 10 songs on the album, so I know that if learnt how to play 10 songs--I've done it!
• Acheivable? If I dedicated one hour everyday after work to do this, I know I could learn some songs. I can play along with the album and find tabs online.
• Realistic? OK, in my experience, it takes a least 3 weeks to learn how to play a song well, and I may not practice everyday. Maybe learn one song WELL in a month -- learn 6 songs in 6 months
• Time-Bound? One hour a day for 6 months. If I don't reach my goal of 6 songs -- it will still feel awesome to know how to play "You Wanna Freak Out"!

Putting your goal into action Now that you've got a good, acheivable goal *DUN DUN DUN* it's time to put it into action! Develop a plan where you write out how you are going to acheieve your goal EVERY DAY. It may seem excessive to begin with, but when you get on a roll, the feeling of accomplishment you can get from moving closer to even the most modest goal that you have set for yourself can be really inspiring and encouraging.

How can we, as young people, teach ourselves and eachother useful things? Do you think traditional schooling teaches some things that are difficult to learn other ways? Have you been to an unschool, home-schooled or grew up outside the schooling system?

Behind the Scenes: ‘A Message of Hope’

by Meredith

If you follow our Twitter, Facebook or (new!) Tumblr pages, you will have noticed this video, A Message of Hope making the rounds last week. This video was the work of the ReachOut Council a team of 16-24 year olds from all over the country, working to promote ReachOut.com and spread awareness about the resources available online for young people to help each other through difficult times.

How the film was made

Council members Chloe and Lauren developed an idea based on the “It Gets Better” video campaign. In Chloe's words:

The initial idea for making the video was inspired by the Trevor Project, but we wanted to make one for our website because those particular videos only pertain to coming out, where teens and young adults deal with so many more issues that also lead to suicide, not just struggles with one's sexuality. Also, another aspect of the It Gets Better videos is that the most viewed ones are made and produced and starred in by adults. We wanted the audience to see people our own age dealing and overcoming issues so they know that they don't have to wait 10 or more years to see things get better, because most teens who are struggling and depressed don't realistically want to wait that long.

Joined by another council member, Brandon, the team had a brainstorming session to determine a list of questions to ask our group interviewees. This helped create a structure to the interviews that allowed the filmaker to play with the order of the responses, but still make it cohesive.

Brandon and Lauren asked participants to sign up for particular time slots to be interviewed. The team found a recording place that was quiet and free from interuption and set-up an improvised lighting rig and camera. As the interview was happening, another team was making sure the schedule was being considered and helping organize those who were involved.

Make your own film... and have a chance to win some cash!

We are currently holding a competition ReachOut Reelz where you can win cash prizes. If this video has inspired you to make your own short, this could be your chance to be famous via our networks and help people with your story or inspiring idea in the process.

!dailyfeats: Small Actions Add Up To Big Change

by Meredith

Sometimes, when times are hard or you're under a lot of stress, it can be difficult to see the forest for the trees. What I mean is, there are many things during the day that we can do, and may do already, that are small victories in a journey toward self-improvement. !dailyfeats is a website that uses social networks like Facebook and Twitter to encourage you to give yourself (and your friends) props for the little things in life that are positive contributions to your school, city or the whole world but most importantly, YOU!

You can use dailyfeats by signing up a for profile and then posting "feats" (like a hashtag on Twitter, but with an exclamation mark at the front) on your profile. By posting feats, you are actually earning points that are redeemable for real-world rewards, like gift cards and discounts at local stores or restaurants just for doing good things for yourself. If you're feeling really generous, you can even donate your points to another user.

How does it work?

1. Sign-up for http://www.dailyfeats.com and sign up through email, Facebook or Twitter. You can send via text(sms) or gtalk!
2. Fill in you profile so people know more about you ("I'm a student, I'm a working adult", "None of the above fit me" etc.)
3. Find some !feats and post them. Remember to put an exclamation mark infront of your !dailyfeat  Here are some of my favorites:

!makethebed That's right! It's a good thing to do as part of your morning routine (I'm not the best at it, so I'm hoping this will help) and isn't coming home to made bed so much more inviting? They even instructions! Worth 2 points

!sharealaugh: Take the time this week to share a laugh with a friend or even a stranger. Worth 2 points

!reachout If you're reading this blog, chances are you are someone who may talk to someone who you know is going through a tough time, and will make yourself available to people. Well, there's a feat for that: !reachout to a school mate, friend, family member or even a total stranger. Worth a whopping 25 points! (After all, reaching out is no small feat: it can make the difference of a lifetime.)

What !dailyfeat would like to add to your life? Are their things you already do daily to improve your mood or your health?

Top photo by beccafawley

ReachOut Reelz: Enter Our Video Contest!

by Meredith

Do you want to help someone else? Do you like filming yourself or your friends? Enter into our ReachOut Reelz competition to inspire others to get through tough times. You can also win cash prizes and have your video shown at a national conference in Washington D.C.!

What is ReachOut Reelz?

It's all about inspiring someone whose going through a difficult time in their lives with some real life tips that you learned by overcoming your own challenging time. It may be a video like a vlog, replaying a situation with your friends, a recording of you narrating still photographs or images or something much bigger -- it's all up to you. Just make sure your video is at least 30 seconds long and under 90 seconds long. This is a dose of inspiration that someone can lean on, straight from the vaults of your own life.

People submit stories every day on ReachOut.com about what helped them through a tough time, but ReachOut Reelz is unique opportunity to get your video promoted by ReachOut.com and to many more, and win prizes along the way.

How do I enter?

To enter, log into your Facebook account and go to ReachOutUSA (don't forget to like us too!)

Click on the "Contests" tab on the left of the page and following the instructions and guidelines for getting involved! You have to accept the Contests App in order to submit a video. There you can also learn more about the ReachOut Reelz official rules. The deadline for video submissions is September 16, 2011 at 12:00 pm Pacific Daylight time. Don't forget if your on the East Coast, no more submissions will be accepted after 9pm September 16, 2011!!

Who is behind ReachOut Reelz?

ReachOut Reelz is produced by The Inspire USA Foundation, in collaboration with AIR (American Institutes for Research), Youth MOVE and SAMSHA (The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration).