ReachOut Blog

A Season for Stressing

by Meredith School

If you're a student like me, you probably don't need to be told that finals season is upon us. Frankly, there are reminders everywhere. On campus, in coffee shops, the stress can be palpable and even distracting when you're facing down your own looming deadlines. It can actually affect your whole body.

We feel your pain (at times, literally) and wanted to help. Before the panic sets in or gets more intense, check out these tips from our fact sheets on managing feelings of stress or anxiety to actually get things done! 

Learn effective study habits. Many people feel overwhelmed at exam time. Relearning a lot of information in a short period of time or not understanding course material can be a big stress. Possible distractions like texting on your phone and keeping your computer screen open are things to avoid while studying. Check out Exam time: tips for effective studying fact sheet for more practical advice on effective study techniques.

Keep your routine outside studying and take regular breaks. It’s important to have regular study breaks and time for relaxation and exercise. Going for a walk, run, or to the gym is not a waste of time—it’s a great way to clear your head and help you study better.

Don’t abuse. Caffeine in coffee, No Doze pills and energy drinks, as well as other drugs like speed or cocaine can give you a short lift before causing you to crash and burn. They can make you feel sick and keep you from sleeping well or concentrating properly. You’ll actually study better with regular breaks, lots of sleep and regular exercise.

Manage expectations. External pressures surrounding exams and grades can be huge. It might be hard to deal with these pressures, especially with family and people you respect, but remember that you’re in control of your life and your grades. Here are some tips to help you manage these pressures:

• Base expectations on your past performance and doing the best you can do.
• Put the exam in context.  In the scheme of your life, how important is it? If you don’t do as well as you’d hoped, there are always alternatives. One grade won’t dictate whether you are a good or a bad person, or whether you are a success or failure. Exams can’t measure these sorts of things. All they measure is how well you can present the material asked for by the examiner—nothing more, nothing less.
• Take the pressure as a compliment. This can be easier said than done, but remember that the people putting pressure on you want you to do well, and think that you’re capable of achieving.

Read more time and life-saving exam stress tips on our fact sheet. And remember you are not alone!

What are your positive tips for keeping school stress at bay? Feel free to share survival strategies and relaxation techniques in comments. 

Photo by Shutterstock

Interview: Lee Hirsch, Director of “Bully”

by Meredith Interviews, School

In the new documentary "Bully," director Lee Hirsch takes on the painful but pervasive issue of bullying in schools. Through a small, brave sample -- a Sioux City, Iowa teenager tortured for being different, a lesbian high school student in Oklahoma, families who lost their bullied children to suicide -- of the many young people affected by bullying, the film seeks to be a comfort to those who may feel alone and a call to action for all. We spoke with Lee Hirsch to learn more about the selection process, his ratings battle with the MPAA, the movie's message to bystanders and more. Go see the film in theaters now and also check out our resources on bullying below this post!

What drew you to the issue of bullying?

Lee Hirsch: It was a very personal story, I was bullied as a kid and you carry those memories. As a filmmaker, I know you have to find stories that carry you, that are meaningful to you. This was something I’d been thinking about for many, many, many years. I kept picking it up and putting it down, not knowing how I could do it, or what I would say, or to what extent I would delve into the landscape of my own memories, and finally I felt ready to do it.

Once I started, I realized how much need there was. I wasn’t aware of the statistics when I started. I wasn’t aware of how broadly this impacts people. And I think that’s one of the powerful messages of the film: So many people share this story of having been bullied, having witnessed it, carrying those memories, feeling like they didn’t have a voice around this issue.

So it all really came together, and I felt like this was an important thing to do. That’s how it got started.

How did you find and ultimately select the kids and the families you followed in the film?

Lee Hirsch: A lot of the families we learned about through local news stories. Some we found, and I’m going to keep this broad because we filmed many more families than the ones in the film, like Kelby, her mom had written into The Ellen Degeneres Show about the abuse she was going through and how desperate they felt and how difficult it was. [Ellen's] producers agreed to put us in touch.

Alex is really the main story you experience in the movie. We met him because we had been given access at his school. We had been looking for access and talking to schools about being given access to film inside the school for a year. We met him on orientation day and it struck me that he might be a student who was bullied.

There were different ways, but we found these amazing kids and families that we ultimately selected and filmed for this project.

One of the most disheartening realities you capture in the film is the roadblock that some victims and parents encounter when approaching school administrators and other authority figures about bullies.  Do you see this as a generational disconnect or something else? What is it that you felt these adults weren’t understanding?

Lee Hirsch: I think that the broader question is how can adults really step up here. We’re asking a lot of youth, we’re asking youth to step up, to be upstanders and not to be bystanders. They need partnership from their teachers, from school support staff, from administrators.

I think that there are wonderful, wonderful, wonderful teachers and administrators across our country. And I think that there are some that don’t get this issue, that don’t connect to it, that don’t have the empathy, the training, they’re overwhelmed. They feel like they’ve been given mixed messages about what’s a priority.

I hope that the conversation is a powerful one in the education space. I’m speaking to you right now from Washington D.C. where I’m about to screen the film for a very exciting crowd hosted by the NEA (National Education Association) and the AFT (American Federation of Teachers). We’re really engaged in this conversation in how do we support educators to take this on in a new and more powerful way, to give them the tools that they need. To give them the resources and the push.

On ReachOut we’re currently running a contest asking teen programmers to help empower bystanders to speak out against bullying, so I was just curious what message do you hope the film sends to those young people who see bullying happening around them?  How can they help?

Lee Hirsch: What I’m hearing back is that they’re seeing their own agency. They’re seeing that the things that they may not have identified as bullying matter. They have the power to step in and find really creative ways to be upstanders. They're seeing that they themselves are the changemakers.

We actually have a cool initiative we launched with Ashoka asking youth to come up with responses to the film that create and foster empathy in their schools. This is where we’re most hopeful. We don’t force feed answers in the movie. I have a huge amount of faith and respect for youth. As creative as they are at bullying, I think they can be just as creative in finding solutions. That’s one of the best things that’s happening with the movie right now.

I know you recently resolved the ratings issue with the MPAA by making some slight modifications to language used in the film. Could you comment on that whole episode?

Lee Hirsch: We were given this rating that felt absolutely wrong. We decided to fight it, the kids in the film asked me to fight it. Alex Libby, now 15, went to the MPAA and argued really powerfully for why this rating was wrong and why kids needed to be able to see this and hear the language they hear every day of their lives. I felt that, in particular, there was one scene that I refused to cut because the language was so critical to conveying the experience of being bullied.

And then all this incredible activism happened that I had nothing to do with and couldn’t have dreamed up. Katy Butler and her strength and her courage and her petition on Change.org and the half a million people that ultimately signed on to that. The thing that I would say is they didn’t just sign the petition, they wrote their stories, they wrote letters, they shared it on their Facebook walls. They got the conversation going and they weren’t just talking about the MPAA, they were talking about why bullying is important and why stepping up is important.

How do you respond to the criticism the film simplifies the link between bullying and suicide?

Lee Hirsch:  I don’t think that film simplifies the link between suicide and bullying. I think the film tells the story of five families and two of those families lost their children and those children were seriously bullied. We have 25 partner organizations and some of the smartest people in the world have vetted this film. I don’t think we do that.

We have to talk about bullying and suicide. There is headline after headline after headline. There is tragedy after tragedy. There’s always going to be people who disagree with you, but I believe that what we’re doing is making a difference and it’s a positive difference. That’s really what’s important here.

Right. The important thing is starting a conversation that gets at the complexities of the issue.

Lee Hirsch: And that’s why we have the resources and the viewing guide and the educators and the partnerships and all these organizations that work in the space are engaged and a part of this process because it’s an important conversation. What I'm hearing from hundreds of people now is that they’re seeing this film with their kids and their kids are talking about it with them for the first time in their lives. There are real positive outcomes now from this film and that’s where my focus is.

So what comes next? How can those moved by the film take action?

Lee Hirsch: We want them to engage on our website at bullyproject.com, which is getting better by the day. We have major youth initiatives under the students section of the website. We’re honing that more and more with our youth partners. We want them to step up, let us know how they’re doing it, be creative.

We also set a goal that we want a million kids to see this film. So we’re working on figuring out how to do that. We want to keep cooking!

For more information on bullying and bystanders, see these fact sheets:
What to do if you are being bullied
Cyberbullying
What to do if someone you know is being bullied
Bystanders role in cyberbullying

Have you seen the movie "Bully"? What did you think?

Create a Facebook App to Help Teens Stand Up Against Cyberbullying!

by Meredith Online Networks, School

Speaking out against cyberbullying takes courage, support... and smart, simple digital tools teens will actually use! To inspire all of the above, ReachOut, with the support of the ESA (Entertainment Software Association Foundation), has launched the National “Don’t Just Stand By” Teen Facebook App Developer Competition. We're inviting young programmers between 13-17 years old to develop a Facebook application that empowers bystanders of cyberbullying to take action.

Through May 25, we'll be accepting entries designed to reach potential bystanders of cyberbullying incidents who are between the ages of 14-24. The goal of each project should be to increase an overall understanding of what cyberbullying is and include a specific call to action for witnesses of online ridicule or harassment.  The winner of the competition will receive $2,000 plus five hours of virtual mentorship from an adult programmer matched according to the type of app developed. Second place wins $1,500 and the third place winner gets $500 -- both will also be matched with mentors.

Why bystanders? Because research shows cyberbullying occurs most frequently in the presence of bystanders who choose to merely watch the events unfold instead of doing something. According to Pew Internet’s August 2011 Tracking Survey, two-thirds of teens who have witnessed online cruelty have also witnessed others joining in – and 21% say they have also joined in the harassment. To end cyberbullying, these bystanders must be inspired to speak up.

We strongly believe in the ability of young people to reverse this trend through brainpower, solidarity and technology and look forward to what comes of this call to action! Good luck!

To help get started, check out our fact sheets on cyberbullying:
Bystanders role in cyberbullying
Cyberbullying

For more information and rules about Reach Out’s National “Don’t Just Stand By” Teen Facebook App Developer Competition, please visit: http://www.reachout.com/contest.

Wondering Which Came First: Bullying or Depression?

by Meredith Friends, Mental Health, School

After attending the launch of the Born This Way Foundation in Boston last week, we wanted to share this powerful and personal guest post from Youth Council Member Meredith Schneider on her experience with bullying growing up. Be sure to check out her bio at the end! 

Adolescence is a time when self-confidence is being tested—no one knows who they are or where they are going. Comfort zones are beginning to be tested, and people do not know how to react to the changes around them. So sometimes... they lash out.

When I was in high school, I didn’t date. I was super involved in school and extracurricular activities—my idea was to work hard enough to go to an amazing college. I spent all of my time building toward my future, and it ended up taking me places. But, because I didn’t date, people made fun of me. People questioned my sexuality, calling me a lesbian just because I never had a boyfriend. This spiraled into other claims and jabs at my personality, including making fun of the fact that I am a twin. And then the same people who made fun of my personality started to make fun of my looks because I was too nice to retaliate.

During my sophomore year of high school, I cried for the first time in front of my classmates. I decided—after having my life threatened over the internet because of the size of my nose—that it was finally time to not be the nice girl anymore. I changed my attitude because of the way that people treated me. I spiraled down into depression that was not outwardly acknowledged and diagnosed until my sophomore year of college.

I’d like to say I know the answer to the question of what comes first, bullying or depression. I can say that what came first for me was the bullying. But some people are genetically predisposed to depression. It turns out that I was, but that it didn’t trigger until later in life. The truth is that it doesn’t matter if you are meant to be depressed or not. No one deserves to be bullied for being who they are.

Gay, depressed, lesbian, transgender, straight, smart, disabled, depressed, multiple, calm, intense… work it. And don’t dwell on the chicken or the egg. Eventually, most people will grow up and move past it either on their own or by getting help.

For extra reading on the topic of bullying, check out these related links:
For Straight Kids Who Don't Act Straight, It Gets Worse (GOOD)
Are depressed kids bully magnets? (CNN)

To learn more about depression and genetics, visit this website:
Major Depression and Genetics (Stanford)

And for fact sheets on these topics, check out:
What to do if you are being bullied
Cyberbullying
What to do if someone you know is being bullied
What is girl vs. girl bullying

Photo by lenifuzhead

About Meredith

My name is Meredith, and I was born in Kansas City, Missouri.  I spent half of my childhood in Sacramento, CA, and then moved back to KC, where I have been immersed in the NFL and NBA because of my parents’ jobs.  I graduated from the University of San Diego a year and a half early with a Communication Studies degree, and am back in the KC area taking a break from life and working part-time for a beauty store.  I have a twin sister and a younger brother, as well as a “puppy” named Kali.  I love to write, act, sing, and go on silly little adventures with my friends.  Music is my life.  I enjoy scrapbooking, home improvement projects, and am a very creative person in general.  I can’t wait to make an impression on the ReachOut community and to be inspired by all of you!

Inspire Yourself

by Meredith Mental Health, School, TV and Film

This summer Inspire USA, the Bay Area Video Coalition (BAVC) Factory program for teen filmmakers made four short films that were unlike any others you will see on this site, and possibly anywhere else. These films were the result of local San Mateo County residents whose courage, resilience and giving allowed them write and produce films together, to help others get through tough times they have experienced, but know can be overcome: Inspire Yourself

Earlier this year, we asked teens and young adults in San Mateo County California to write a story about what got them through a tough time. These stories were turned into films by graduates of the BAVC Factory program, a summer-long film making intensive course that gives teen filmmakers the resources, experience and expertise to make top-notch videos. What's better is that all the videos are made for non-profits doing great work in their own local or national communities. After the stories were collected, the filmakers wrote scripts that preserved the stories and breathed them into moving films, like "Write it Out" above. We owe a massive thanks to the folks in San Mateo County for funding this project. We also could not have pulled it off without our 3 filmakers Raymundo Archila, Fifer Garbesi and ReachOut Youth Council member Lauren Lindberg and to Jason Jakaitis & Ewen Wright at BAVC for producing these films with us. If you liked the videos, please leave a comment on our Youtube videos showing your support!

On Saturday, August 27, the stories were screened at the Pacific Film Archive to a crowd of hundreds of teens, young adults and the usual assortment of creative, inspiring people found hanging around BAVC. It was great to see these films get their due props and for Fifer, Lauren and Raymundo to be recognized as the insightful and promising artists that they are.

This was my last project working as Inspire staff, and I will never forget the help of Christina Vo ("Getting Perspective"), Louvenia at Canyon Oaks Youth Center and Katherine at the YAIL/CAMINAR program in Redwood City for their support and role in encouraging local youth to participate in this project. Anastasia Goodstein, our rocking, non-stop and generous Director of Digital Programs was also invaulable (as were the many lessons you helped me learn along the way!). Till the next episode!

What do you think of these interpretations of real stories submitted to ReachOut.com? How might you be able to help someone else with what you have learned?