Let's face it. Valentine's Day can be hard to ignore. If you're getting over a breakup, it can feel nearly impossible. We get it and we're here to help. Today's blog is from ReachOut Youth Council member Brandon on how to navigate the holiday when you're nursing a broken heart.
Ahh, love is in the air! Well, for some of us. For another good portion of us, this Valentine's Day is creeping up with lots of anxiety or memories. Going through a break up is hard and going through a romantic holiday after said break up can be even harder.
The feelings of past celebrations or good memories come back and can feel like they are consuming you. And that's okay. It's completely normal to think about that person who's no longer in your life. After all, they did play a big role in the person you are today. After a break up, it can be hard to not be angry. I, myself, am guilty of this as well. But what I've come to find out is that this anger, coldness, or bitterness will not help you recover. It will only reinforce the walls you have built up and continue to shut us off from future opportunities.
So, how do we take care of ourselves and move on when reminders of coupledom seem to be everywhere?
- Reflect honestly on your relationship. Trying to understand how we got to this single-ness is one of the best things we can do. Trust in the process of moving forward and don't forget why the relationship ended. This takes time and in many cases, months. Check out the fact sheet on getting through a break up for more information.
- Get support. You're feeling confused and heartbroken, and the one person you could go to before is no longer there to listen. This is the point where you can turn to your friends, your journal, or the ReachOut Forums and express how you're feeling.
Talk it out. The simple act of expressing how you feel can really help. We too often let our emotions bottle up and end up carrying these heavy weights on our shoulders. Unpack that. Let others know how you feel.
- Keep it classy. But just like anything, there's a right and a wrong way to do this. Subtweeting or writing a text post for the whole world to see might not be the best way.
- Express yo'self. If you're struggling to find an outlet in another person, write it out! Or draw it out! Both of these forms can help you process what you're thinking and leave you feeling like you can breathe again.
This past year has been full of ups and downs for me personally but one of the things that I am most proud of is how I have found inner peace with questions that I won’t get answered. Through this, I have been able to find happiness, grow more independent, and not need other’s approval to be happy.
If you want to connect with someone supportive on Valentine’s Day but don't have anyone specific in mind, try the forums here at ReachOut! This is a great way to talk to others anonymously in a safe, inclusive, and healthy way. The biggest thing is to just not keep it to yourself. Give it a try and tell us how do you make peace?
Hi everyone! My name is Brandon Rohlwing, and I am a National Youth Council Member with ReachOut.com! I am from the suburbs of Chicago and currently live in downtown Chicago attending Roosevelt University. I am studying integrated marketing communications in the hopes of starting a career at a nonprofit that focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention.