ReachOut Blog

The Perception of Depression

by Meredith Mental Health

For more on depression, check out these fact sheets

Depression: causes, types, and symptoms
Bipolar Disorder
Finding People to Help and Support You

Photo by Shutterstock

About Lindsey
My name is Lindsey DeLillo. I'm 20 years old and live in New Jersey. I went to school to get my cosmetology license > after high school and am now looking to enroll in some classes at a local community college. I'm hoping to major in either art education or music  education, since those are two things I've always been passionate about and spent a lot of time doing.

Wondering Which Came First: Bullying or Depression?

by Meredith Friends, Mental Health, School

After attending the launch of the Born This Way Foundation in Boston last week, we wanted to share this powerful and personal guest post from Youth Council Member Meredith Schneider on her experience with bullying growing up. Be sure to check out her bio at the end! 

Adolescence is a time when self-confidence is being tested—no one knows who they are or where they are going. Comfort zones are beginning to be tested, and people do not know how to react to the changes around them. So sometimes... they lash out.

When I was in high school, I didn’t date. I was super involved in school and extracurricular activities—my idea was to work hard enough to go to an amazing college. I spent all of my time building toward my future, and it ended up taking me places. But, because I didn’t date, people made fun of me. People questioned my sexuality, calling me a lesbian just because I never had a boyfriend. This spiraled into other claims and jabs at my personality, including making fun of the fact that I am a twin. And then the same people who made fun of my personality started to make fun of my looks because I was too nice to retaliate.

During my sophomore year of high school, I cried for the first time in front of my classmates. I decided—after having my life threatened over the internet because of the size of my nose—that it was finally time to not be the nice girl anymore. I changed my attitude because of the way that people treated me. I spiraled down into depression that was not outwardly acknowledged and diagnosed until my sophomore year of college.

I’d like to say I know the answer to the question of what comes first, bullying or depression. I can say that what came first for me was the bullying. But some people are genetically predisposed to depression. It turns out that I was, but that it didn’t trigger until later in life. The truth is that it doesn’t matter if you are meant to be depressed or not. No one deserves to be bullied for being who they are.

Gay, depressed, lesbian, transgender, straight, smart, disabled, depressed, multiple, calm, intense… work it. And don’t dwell on the chicken or the egg. Eventually, most people will grow up and move past it either on their own or by getting help.

For extra reading on the topic of bullying, check out these related links:
For Straight Kids Who Don't Act Straight, It Gets Worse (GOOD)
Are depressed kids bully magnets? (CNN)

To learn more about depression and genetics, visit this website:
Major Depression and Genetics (Stanford)

And for fact sheets on these topics, check out:
What to do if you are being bullied
Cyberbullying
What to do if someone you know is being bullied
What is girl vs. girl bullying

Photo by lenifuzhead

About Meredith

My name is Meredith, and I was born in Kansas City, Missouri.  I spent half of my childhood in Sacramento, CA, and then moved back to KC, where I have been immersed in the NFL and NBA because of my parents’ jobs.  I graduated from the University of San Diego a year and a half early with a Communication Studies degree, and am back in the KC area taking a break from life and working part-time for a beauty store.  I have a twin sister and a younger brother, as well as a “puppy” named Kali.  I love to write, act, sing, and go on silly little adventures with my friends.  Music is my life.  I enjoy scrapbooking, home improvement projects, and am a very creative person in general.  I can’t wait to make an impression on the ReachOut community and to be inspired by all of you!

Understanding Depression: Sadness or Something More Serious?

by RO_Admin Mental Health, Moods

With the holidays right around the corner, there's a lot of pressure out there to be happy -- between the commercials and non-stop x-mas music, if you are feeling sad, you might feel like you're the only one with these feelings. You're not! And if you're worried you might be depressed, we thought this article by our Youth Council Member MacKenzie Hunter might help you sort through you're feelings and figure out whether it's just the holiday blues or something more serious. Be sure and read more about MacKenzie at the end of the post!

We all go through ups and downs in life. Feeling sad or "down in the dumps" from time to time is a typical human response to adversity. Many of us experience sadness after going through a tough time like losing a loved one, for example, or breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. We may also feel sad when we do not get along with those who are important to us, or when we do not perform as well as we hoped to in school or at work. Sometimes we may feel sad when the weather is gloomy, or dark. Other times we may feel sad for no apparent reason. Because it is impossible to avoid circumstances like these, we can all expect to experience sadness at some point throughout our life.

However, if feelings of intense sadness continue for weeks and begin interfering with other aspects of your life like work, school, or relationships, these feelings may be more than sadness. You may be struggling with Clinical Depression—a mental disorder that is more severe and longer-lasting than normal sadness.

What is Clinical Depression? Clinical Depression is state of sadness that has progressed to the point of being disruptive to a person’s social functioning and/or activities of daily living. According to the DSM-IV, a manual used to diagnose mental disorders, depression is present when someone has at least five of the following nine symptoms at the same time:

• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Believing that the situation will never get better and things will never change.


• Fatigue or loss of energy. Feeling lethargic and tired most of the day. Everyday tasks become very difficult and even unbearable to do.


• Difficulty concentrating or staying focused. Daily work tasks become difficult to complete or stay focused on.


• Difficulty remembering things.


• Insomnia (inability to sleep) or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping)


• Lack of interest or pleasure in almost all activities. No interest in any fun or social activities that used to be enjoyable.


• Recurring thoughts of death or suicide (not just fearing death)


• Unexplained aches and pains. Typically headaches, muscle aches, upset stomach, etc.


• Changes in appetite or weight. A change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.


• Self-loathing or strong feelings of worthlessness. Being overly critical of yourself, feeling good-for-nothing.


• Irritability or restlessness. Feeling agitated, easily unnerved, or on-edge.

The signs and symptoms of Depression vary from person to person, but these are the most prevalent indicators. Teens who have clinical depression describe their experiences as: "having trouble sleeping and controlling my emotions," "lay[ing] awake at night for hours waiting to either cry myself to sleep or for my brain to shut off," and "feeling worthless, like I didn't have anything to offer the world."

If you or someone you love is experiencing the symptoms listed above, you should start by seeking some professional help. A teen who shared her story about coping with depression on Reach Out suggests: "If you have depression or think you do then you need to tell someone because, if you don't, things could get a lot worse for you. You don't have to be afraid or embarrassed about depression. Many people get it. So, don't be like me and block others out. Talk to someone who you can trust and who you know will always be there for you forever."

Take time to explore the many treatment options, including therapy and medication, and decide which option (or combination of options) is best suited for you. Finding People to Help and Support You, a section of ReachOut.com, might be useful to explore. In this section you will find information about different types of mental health professionals, different types of treatment, what to expect in a first visit with a mental health professional, and information about depression.

Have you experienced clinical depression? If so, how did you get through it?

About Me:
Hi Everyone!  My name is Mackenzie.  I am twenty two years old and currently living and working in Kalamazoo, Michigan.  I studied Psychology and Sociology at Alma College and am now employed with a non-profit organization.  In my free time I like to go see live music, try new foods, and meet new people.  I love traveling and being immersed in different cultures. I have worked for ReachOut for about half a year now and am thrilled to contribute to such a hip, relevant, and friendly movement!

Photo by MattGrommes

Food for Thought: Understanding Eating Disorders

by RO_Admin Health, Mental Health

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, and food being a big issue for lots of young people, we wanted to post this interview we did with Dr. Raine Weiner, a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please check out our resource page at ReachOut.com/eatingdisorders. And if you’ve overcome an eating disorder and would like to share your story to encourage others, submit it online here. We also encourage you to check out Proud To Be Me, a new site for teens about body image created by the National Eating Disorders Association.

Reach Out: Can you clarify the difference between bulimia and anorexia?
Dr. Raine Weiner: Distinguishing between anorexia and bulimia can be quite confusing.  The symptoms of these two eating disorders often overlap.  Bulimia Nervosa involves repeated food binges followed by self-induced vomiting, laxative/diuretic abuse, restrictive dieting, and/or over-exercise.  Anorexia Nervosa occurs in people who refuse to maintain a healthy body weight.  They often starve themselves or severely limit their intake of food.   Anorexics obsessively fear gaining weight and often have a distorted self-image.  The similarities between anorexia and bulimia are in that those suffering from these illnesses spend enormous amounts of time thinking about food, weight, and body size.  With both eating disorders, people may use rigorous exercise, laxatives, food restriction, and diet pills in their attempts to control weight.  They tend to be highly critical of their bodies.  It is not uncommon for anorexics and bulimics to switch from one type of eating disorder to another or have symptoms of both, which sometimes makes separating the two illnesses virtually impossible. 

RO: What are some of the dangers of being anorexic or bulimic?
RW: Since bulimia involves consuming large amounts of food, self-induced vomiting, and/or laxative abuse, it is not surprising that severe health issues can result.  Vomiting can cause injury to the esophagus and the stomach lining.  Purging increases acidity in the mouth, causing the tooth enamel to erode.   Fasting and vomiting result in fluid and mineral loss which can lead to kidney stones and even kidney failure.  These imbalances can contribute to irregular heart rate and sudden death.    Laxative abuse can also cause mineral imbalances, dehydration, and constipation.  The digestive tract can be harmed with significant damage to the colon. 

The body needs food in order to function properly.  Therefore, given the long periods of starvation, there are many medical complications arising from anorexia.  For girls who have already started their periods, anorexia will usually cause amenorrhea (no periods).  The lack of nutrition also leads to anemia (iron deficiencies), dehydration (fluid loss), flaky skin, hair loss on the scalp, and hair increase on the arms/legs/torso.  Anorexics usually feel cold and their fingers can appear blue.  Since they don’t eat enough calories, they don’t think clearly or quickly.  The lack of calcium in their diets results in bone loss that can be permanent, leading to broken bones and curvature of the spine.  Starvation also can result in heart rate abnormalities and even death.

RO: How do problems with body image relate to eating disorders?
RW: One characteristic that is common to all eating disorders is poor and distorted body image.  People with eating disorders tend to be highly critical of their bodies.  In trying to change their appearance, they sometimes go to extreme measures.  We all know, however, that nobody is perfect.  No matter how we try to change our bodies, if we are unhappy with whom we really are, no number on the scale will ever be OK.   If you’re sad or anxious, it’s not really about your weight, even if it might feel like that’s the problem.  Think about what is going on in your life that’s making you upset.  Are there problems with friends?  Is something going on at home or with your family? Are you stressed out at school or work?  Maybe if you get some help with changing situations that make you unhappy, you’ll find your self-image and body-image will be more positive as well!

RO: Do you think the media has any influence over the prevalence of these disorders?
RW: The media has a huge affect on the prevalence of eating disorders. Television, magazines, music, art, fashion and almost everywhere you look, the emphasis is on thinness and weight loss.  How are we supposed to feel good when we are comparing ourselves with airbrushed and digitally enhanced photos of models who have personal trainers, chefs, fashion consultants, make-up artists, etc.?  We need more positive, realistic role models in the media and in our daily lives.

RO: What can people do if they have a friend or family member who is struggling with bulimia or anorexia?
RW: If you know someone with an eating disorder, the most important thing is to find the courage to say something to him or her.  People with eating disorders might deny their problems at first, but they will take in what you have to say, and one day this may lead toward seeking help.  Let them know how much you care and that you are concerned.  If the person you are worried about is a teen or young adult, don’t be afraid to tell an adult.  Don’t assume that his/her parents already know.  Very often, friends are the first ones who notice, and for college students, the parents might be far away and unaware.  If you are not sure what to say, call me or anyone at an eating disorders center close to you.  We get numerous calls from people trying to figure out what to say to their friend or relative.  Sometimes you just need some help with finding the right words.

RO: What are some of the biggest obstacles to recovery?
RW: There are many obstacles to recovery.  Perhaps the biggest is denial.  People with eating disorders often deny their problem.  Sometimes even families are unable to see that a loved one is suffering or they are ashamed they can’t fix the problem by themselves.  As a result, eating disorders continue to wear people down for a long time before treatment is sought.

Recovery is sometimes blocked or slowed because anorexics and bulimics tend to fear change and loss of control which they associate with letting go of their illness. They are terrified of gaining weight and living their lives without what feels like the “structure” and “comfort” of repeating their eating disordered patterns.  The resulting anxiety makes them less motivated for recovery.  It is only with great amounts of support and encouragement that the process of recovery can begin.  

Another obstacle to recovery is financial.  The recovery process can be a long one resulting in high costs for treatment.  Insurance companies have been reluctant to pay for this necessary treatment or only cover therapy for a minimal length of time.  Of course, many people do not have insurance coverage.  As a result, too many of them are not getting the help needed to work toward recovery.

RO: What can a person expect if he or she decides to seek help from a therapist?
RW: It can be a bit scary to seek help from a therapist.  However, it’s a lot less frightening once you get in the door, and we can really be warm and helpful.  You pick your friends, so you should pick your therapist.  Find someone with whom you feel a connection fairly early on in treatment.  Every client is different as is every therapist, so it’s hard to say exactly what to expect in therapy.  Chances are, your therapist will want to know why you came to therapy at this time.  He or she will also want to know about your family, friends, and general activities (work, school, etc.).  You’re always free to say whatever is on your mind.  If there’s a question you’re not ready to answer, that’s OK, too.  Over time, your therapist will help you understand why the eating disorder started in the first place and how to cope with stresses in your life in healthier ways as you work together through the recovery process.  He or she might also want you to get a check up from your doctor, see a nutritionist, or maybe even get involved in a group with other people in recovery.  Together you can work out what’s the best plan for you.  Once you’ve gotten used to the idea, it feels good having someone you can talk to about all those thoughts circulating in your head.   It takes courage to recover, and you won’t be alone in getting there.

What role does food play in your life? How do you maintain a healthy body image?

About Raine Weiner, PhD
Dr. Raine Weiner is a licensed clinical psychologist who graduated from the University of Michigan and received her doctorate from the California School of Professional Psychology in 1986. She ran a group home for emotionally disturbed adolescents in Los Angeles before moving her practice to Maryland in 1988. In 1991, she and Joan Hart, LCSW co-founded the Eating Disorders Center of Potomac Valley and Potomac Valley Psychotherapy Associates.

Top image by tollieschmidt

A Salute to Veterans

by Meredith Family, Mental Health

Today's guest post comes from Youth Council Member Jessica Moyeda in honor of Veteran's Day. 

This summer, at the Youth Council Summit, each YC member was challenged to create a personalized action plan. This was an opportunity to dictate the course of our involvement with ReachOut; when prompted to pursue topics about which we were passionate, I immediately thought of veterans.

Imagine this scenario: Your family decides to go out to their favorite local restaurant, and when you arrive your first thoughts are not of menu selections but of where the hostess will seat you. It must be in a corner, or at least along the wall – never in the middle of a room. You ask yourself, is there a clear view of the entrance from your table? What about the exits? Then you realize there are too many people in the restaurant because it is Friday and everyone has had the same idea as your family. You worry it is too noisy and now wonder if you should have just stayed home and cooked.

Some of you may chalk this scenario up to paranoia; others may think it is completely fictionalized. Yet I know there are those of you that have experienced this, or known someone who has these same thoughts.

This is a real scenario from my life, it is also a very narrow illustration of how the most normal situations can be turned upside-down by combat experiences. The hyper-vigilance, the sensitivity to noise and crowds of people are just some of the effects of my father’s Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and is something my family continues to grapple with on a daily basis. So, for me, it made sense that when I was asked to think of how I could contribute to ReachOut, I thought of helping our veterans.

On Veteran’s Day we are meant to give thanks to the men and women that have made tremendous sacrifices for our freedom. Did you know an estimated 11 to 20 percent of returning combat veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, but nearly half of today's young veterans will return home with a type of mental health condition (depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc.)? Stigma can also prevent service members from seeking help when they need it most.

So, what can you do if someone you love or know is experiencing some of these challenges?

1. Educating yourself is the single most important step in helping someone you love, because it prepares you for the challenges ahead. Knowledge is power, and in this case it may prompt you to show your support or lend a helping hand.

2. Listen and share. Each veteran experience - and their period of readjustment - is unique. Some may wish to talk and others may not. The important thing is that you express your support. A simple, “I love you and am here for you,” can go a long way. Your encouragement and willingness to listen or talk is a huge component in the readjustment period because it let’s them know you care and are committed to helping them in this transition.

3. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. If your friend or family member is experiencing some of these challenges, chances are you feel strained or tense and may even internalize some of their common stress reactions. Remember that your life has changed too, and it may be helpful just to talk with someone about these changes.

In closing, I’d like to leave you all with a few thoughts:

• It is 100 percent possible for you and your service member to be happy and healthy.
• It is a sign of maturity for you, or your service member, to admit needing assistance and take action.

On behalf of ReachOut.com, I would like to extend my thanks to all veterans for their service and sacrifice.

Source: Department of Veterans Affairs